no smug married couples here.
We took our first official step toward actually joining a church community this weekend. We went to a retreat for the entire church -- all 3 huge sites of them. It was unlike any other retreat I'd been to -- partially because I didn't leave completely exhausted.
Anyway, one story: at the beginning of the singing time on the first night, to get the crowd warmed up, the MC went through rounds of "if you are a (name-your-life-position) stand up and clap your hands". People were really getting into it. After about 4 rounds of doing this, almost everyone was on their feet clapping -- except for me and Phil and this other couple sitting behind us. They had called out for mothers, fathers, kids, youth, singles to stand... and totally forgot about childless couples. The MC kept saying, "it looks like everyone is up, did I forget anyone? did I forget anyone?" We were too far from the front to shout "YES,CHILDLESS MARRIED COUPLES!" Plus it'd be kinda awkward. So finally, the MC dude should, uh, "If you go to church, stand up!" Phew, yes, I DO go to the church.
Anyway, it sort of seemed like we were a minority demographic - not cool enough to hang out with groups of singles (no seriously, no singles wanted to hang out with us once they found out we were married) and not 'legit' enough to bear off-spring. It was sort of strange. We actually befriended another couple in a similar situation so at least we had some sort of comraderie. All of the people in our small group were either older, married w/kids or single and more interested in meeting up with their single friends than hanging out/inviting us to hang out with them. All in all, I was not altogether jazzed about the weekend. Whoever said that being married couple gets you into a "club" needs to show me where that freakin' club is so I can protest it -- b/c it's a damn lie.
12/18/2005
12/14/2005
math fun
I don't know much about statistical methods, so I've been desperately looking up info on the internet to help me with my research job over winter break. Here are a few economic terms that I stumbled upon and needed to share:
The Habakkuk Thesis: The Habakkuk thesis is that high wages and labor scarcity stimulated technological progress in the U.S. in the 1800s, and in particular brought about the American system of manufacturing based on interchangeable parts.
The Hahn Problem: The Hahn problem a.k.a. The Hahn (1965) question: when does there exist an equilibrium in a model in which money has positive value?
I know some Hahns -- Brothers J, can you relate?
I don't know much about statistical methods, so I've been desperately looking up info on the internet to help me with my research job over winter break. Here are a few economic terms that I stumbled upon and needed to share:
The Habakkuk Thesis: The Habakkuk thesis is that high wages and labor scarcity stimulated technological progress in the U.S. in the 1800s, and in particular brought about the American system of manufacturing based on interchangeable parts.
The Hahn Problem: The Hahn problem a.k.a. The Hahn (1965) question: when does there exist an equilibrium in a model in which money has positive value?
I know some Hahns -- Brothers J, can you relate?
12/09/2005
my new sweatsuit
My tummy is filled with fried rice, kimchee, cookies and pumpkin ice cream.... I feel icky. The strange thing is that I also feel super comfy in my new velour sweat suit. This thing makes everything good. I used to have 3 sets of sweat suits, but they were lost in the apartment disaster of '03 and I hadn't replaced them yet. Over t-day weekend I went shopping with Hannah and Sarah and purchased a new one that is oh-so-comfy. So comfy, that almost every day I come home and immediately change into them, like how Mr. Rogers put on that cardigan when he came home. Anyway, it's almost like the clothing-version of a security blanket. It immediately comforts me, no matter how many papers I have due or how icky I feel from stuffing myself with crappy food.
Ah velour sweat suit pants, my new friend. Drawstring waistbands are the best. Hurrah for pants that don't have to be hemmed!
My tummy is filled with fried rice, kimchee, cookies and pumpkin ice cream.... I feel icky. The strange thing is that I also feel super comfy in my new velour sweat suit. This thing makes everything good. I used to have 3 sets of sweat suits, but they were lost in the apartment disaster of '03 and I hadn't replaced them yet. Over t-day weekend I went shopping with Hannah and Sarah and purchased a new one that is oh-so-comfy. So comfy, that almost every day I come home and immediately change into them, like how Mr. Rogers put on that cardigan when he came home. Anyway, it's almost like the clothing-version of a security blanket. It immediately comforts me, no matter how many papers I have due or how icky I feel from stuffing myself with crappy food.
Ah velour sweat suit pants, my new friend. Drawstring waistbands are the best. Hurrah for pants that don't have to be hemmed!
12/05/2005
New and exciting!
2 things:
1. UCLA vs. Northwestern in the Sun Bowl... what to do? what to do? I think I will wear both my UCLA and NU t-shirt during the bowl game and alternate between the two. Or does that seem insane? I think I'll wear my NU shirt sometime this week. Maybe this time, people won't ask if Northwestern is in Seattle. No stupids, it's not!
2. My client project team started a blog to share our nerd adventures as we study gentrification and equitable development in LA's Asian ethnic enclaves.. Check it out.
http://upclientproject.blogspot.com
If you like my nerd talk, you will like this new blog. I think.
2 things:
1. UCLA vs. Northwestern in the Sun Bowl... what to do? what to do? I think I will wear both my UCLA and NU t-shirt during the bowl game and alternate between the two. Or does that seem insane? I think I'll wear my NU shirt sometime this week. Maybe this time, people won't ask if Northwestern is in Seattle. No stupids, it's not!
2. My client project team started a blog to share our nerd adventures as we study gentrification and equitable development in LA's Asian ethnic enclaves.. Check it out.
http://upclientproject.blogspot.com
If you like my nerd talk, you will like this new blog. I think.
12/02/2005
the other "woman"
I've been battling a cold this week brought on by allergies and this crazy dry weather. On Wednesday, I felt so sick after my classes so I decided to skip a club meeting on campus that evening and head home early. I called minsoo on my way home to see when he would be home because he also had a late meeting at school. He was already at home when I called so I told him I'd be coming home early too. Instead of the usual positive response I get when I tell my husband I'm coming home early, I got these awkward ums and okays and "I thought you'd be coming home late". So I jokingly respond to this awkwardness by saying, "yeah, so you need to tell that other woman to leave now." And he responded: "It's just that I was going to make some kimchee jjigae and I know you're not a fan of the smell."
Kimchee jjigae: the other woman in my husband's life.
Don't worry, we're in an "open" relationship so I will peacefully co-exist with the KJ, no matter how stinky.
I've been battling a cold this week brought on by allergies and this crazy dry weather. On Wednesday, I felt so sick after my classes so I decided to skip a club meeting on campus that evening and head home early. I called minsoo on my way home to see when he would be home because he also had a late meeting at school. He was already at home when I called so I told him I'd be coming home early too. Instead of the usual positive response I get when I tell my husband I'm coming home early, I got these awkward ums and okays and "I thought you'd be coming home late". So I jokingly respond to this awkwardness by saying, "yeah, so you need to tell that other woman to leave now." And he responded: "It's just that I was going to make some kimchee jjigae and I know you're not a fan of the smell."
Kimchee jjigae: the other woman in my husband's life.
Don't worry, we're in an "open" relationship so I will peacefully co-exist with the KJ, no matter how stinky.
11/27/2005
11/22/2005
heading toward dec
It's been a stressful few weeks. My professors have decided that a majority of the assignments should be due in November instead of in Dec, near finals. It's good because I'm done with most of my assignments in Nov, but this month has worked me good. To add to the stress, most of the assignments have included presentations and negotiation exercises where we have to defend our group projects. Speaking in public and trying to sound smart just increases my stress exponentially.
Anyway, I'm super friggin tired of group projects. I have one group project that is currently my own personal hell, probably because we were assigned these groups so I wasn't able to pick my gang of four. Since our professor failed to teach us anything, the only people who know what is going on are the people who have work experience in the topic and people who pretend they know everything. As a result, I'm experiencing the "weakest link" syndrome where people ignore me when I ask questions/make suggestions and set up meetings during times when they know I won't be in town (which makes me feel as if I'm not valuable to the group). It's a fun fun time in group land. I am definitely not comfortable with this position as I'm used to being "super group member" and not dead weight. I am already make mental notes to share on our course evaluations. I'm trying to think of comparable phrases to "This class sucks".
I just want to crawl into bed and recooperate.
One more week and then it'll be Dec... one more week and then it'll be Dec...
It's been a stressful few weeks. My professors have decided that a majority of the assignments should be due in November instead of in Dec, near finals. It's good because I'm done with most of my assignments in Nov, but this month has worked me good. To add to the stress, most of the assignments have included presentations and negotiation exercises where we have to defend our group projects. Speaking in public and trying to sound smart just increases my stress exponentially.
Anyway, I'm super friggin tired of group projects. I have one group project that is currently my own personal hell, probably because we were assigned these groups so I wasn't able to pick my gang of four. Since our professor failed to teach us anything, the only people who know what is going on are the people who have work experience in the topic and people who pretend they know everything. As a result, I'm experiencing the "weakest link" syndrome where people ignore me when I ask questions/make suggestions and set up meetings during times when they know I won't be in town (which makes me feel as if I'm not valuable to the group). It's a fun fun time in group land. I am definitely not comfortable with this position as I'm used to being "super group member" and not dead weight. I am already make mental notes to share on our course evaluations. I'm trying to think of comparable phrases to "This class sucks".
I just want to crawl into bed and recooperate.
One more week and then it'll be Dec... one more week and then it'll be Dec...
11/17/2005
is it cold where you are?
Yesterday was Chicago's first snow day. It was also the 3rd or 4th day of 80+ degree weather and red flag fire danger warnings in LA. Ah, Global warming. I am no longer going to brag about our unseasonably good weather, because it has gotten so out of hand. One week it's rainy, the next week it's dry and hot. Pretty soon the tanning salons will be out of business. It doesn't seem natural (both the weather and the tanning salons). And frankly, the crazy weather we've had world-wide in the past few years is starting to really scare me.
I am glad for the sun, though, since my toe is stil not shoe-ready.
Yesterday was Chicago's first snow day. It was also the 3rd or 4th day of 80+ degree weather and red flag fire danger warnings in LA. Ah, Global warming. I am no longer going to brag about our unseasonably good weather, because it has gotten so out of hand. One week it's rainy, the next week it's dry and hot. Pretty soon the tanning salons will be out of business. It doesn't seem natural (both the weather and the tanning salons). And frankly, the crazy weather we've had world-wide in the past few years is starting to really scare me.
I am glad for the sun, though, since my toe is stil not shoe-ready.
11/15/2005
new tv guilty pleasure
My new guilty pleasure? The tvshow-Biggest_Loser. Yes, I know, it seems like such a messed up idea for a reality show: Overweight people stay at a big house while they lose weight by working out with insanely fit and intense trainers. Each week, they do a weigh-in and if the contestants loses less weight (body weight percentage) than the others, they can be "voted" off the ranch. Seems harsh, right?
However, the show is kind of heartwarming. I know, I know, sounds crazy. I mean, even the show title is so degrading. But hear me out. Many of the moments they show are of these people talking about how much they care about their families and how much self-confidence they are getting. There's surprisingly a lot of tear-jerking moments and crazy transformations. It's almost like watching thathome makeover show (you know what I mean). Anyway, I'm hooked and I can't stop watching. I think they need to bring out the next season ofScrubs, and quickly.
My new guilty pleasure? The tvshow-Biggest_Loser. Yes, I know, it seems like such a messed up idea for a reality show: Overweight people stay at a big house while they lose weight by working out with insanely fit and intense trainers. Each week, they do a weigh-in and if the contestants loses less weight (body weight percentage) than the others, they can be "voted" off the ranch. Seems harsh, right?
However, the show is kind of heartwarming. I know, I know, sounds crazy. I mean, even the show title is so degrading. But hear me out. Many of the moments they show are of these people talking about how much they care about their families and how much self-confidence they are getting. There's surprisingly a lot of tear-jerking moments and crazy transformations. It's almost like watching thathome makeover show (you know what I mean). Anyway, I'm hooked and I can't stop watching. I think they need to bring out the next season ofScrubs, and quickly.
11/14/2005
those ingenious little rice squares
On Saturday afternoon, I did some all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue at our favorite k-town make-your-clothes-stinky restaurant. We went with some people from northern california who were dduk bo sam virgins (all Koreans, by the way) so when the rice didn't show and we asked the waiter for the rice squares, our friends were taken aback. They were even more confused when the squares appeared on our table. One of my friends grabbed like 10 of the squares and took a few bites out of them, all at once. I had to explain to him the process of taking one thin sheet, dipping the beef in the salty/oily mixture and rolling the saucy meat in the dduk bo sam. Our friends were in awe of this new trend in Korean BBQ. After I explained the process minsoo said, "Dude, you just got schooled by a Chinese girl." Indeed.
That same weekend, I also gave my Asian classmates a "tour" of K-town, as if marrying a Korean granted me knowledge of all-that-is-Korean. Hm, maybe it did.
On Saturday afternoon, I did some all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue at our favorite k-town make-your-clothes-stinky restaurant. We went with some people from northern california who were dduk bo sam virgins (all Koreans, by the way) so when the rice didn't show and we asked the waiter for the rice squares, our friends were taken aback. They were even more confused when the squares appeared on our table. One of my friends grabbed like 10 of the squares and took a few bites out of them, all at once. I had to explain to him the process of taking one thin sheet, dipping the beef in the salty/oily mixture and rolling the saucy meat in the dduk bo sam. Our friends were in awe of this new trend in Korean BBQ. After I explained the process minsoo said, "Dude, you just got schooled by a Chinese girl." Indeed.
That same weekend, I also gave my Asian classmates a "tour" of K-town, as if marrying a Korean granted me knowledge of all-that-is-Korean. Hm, maybe it did.
11/10/2005
to be young, gifted...and asian
I'm beginning to think that I don't want to work at non-profits after graduation because I sort of feel like the current ones have already been co-opted by "the man." Most scramble around in their own communities, following the grant money that the government sprinkles at non-profits, trying to keep themselves afloat in the system, trying to gain polical influence and power, not really doing any real transformative work, but merely sustaining the underclass with just enough services to keep them barely afloat.
So essentially, I'd still be "selling out" by working for non-profits. And if I'm going to "sell out," I feel like I should at least make some serious cash, right? If I'm going to sell out, I gotta do it big, no? That way, when I start the revo-whatever-the-heck-it-is, I don't have to rely on the system.
I think I'm getting more radical because of school. I love school because I get to study tons of cool topics all the time with super cool people who are 10x more radical than me... my latest topics have ranged from providing service-enriched housing for emancipated foster care youth to discussing gentrification in asian am neighborhoods to the struggle for the rights of day laborers. My classmates and I talk about "revolution" all the time. I don't think I even know what it is, but one of my classmates seems to think that I should be the one to start it. I can't even speak up in class, what makes him think I can do something revolutionary?
Dang, and speaking of revolutionaries or lack thereof -- where the hell are Asian voters? Oh yeah, they don't vote. I saw a news report about the special election last week and they featured "apathetic voters" -- all of whom were Asian college kids from uc-la. I was so pissed. Once again there was the media portrayal of the of asian youth as civically disengaged and unaffected by critical social issues. Where are all the serious Asians? What is it going to take for Asians to realize that there is oppression going on toward our community? When are those rich apathetic comfortable Asians going to stand up and realize that our individual social standing does not exclude us from collective racism and that we need to be represented in the larger social change movement?
I think I'm going to create a gang and label them "young, gifted--and Asian", and NOT include smart asians who don't give a damn but include only asians who actually represent. I've already got my "gang of_four" at school. Who else is with me? Raise your fists.
I'm beginning to think that I don't want to work at non-profits after graduation because I sort of feel like the current ones have already been co-opted by "the man." Most scramble around in their own communities, following the grant money that the government sprinkles at non-profits, trying to keep themselves afloat in the system, trying to gain polical influence and power, not really doing any real transformative work, but merely sustaining the underclass with just enough services to keep them barely afloat.
So essentially, I'd still be "selling out" by working for non-profits. And if I'm going to "sell out," I feel like I should at least make some serious cash, right? If I'm going to sell out, I gotta do it big, no? That way, when I start the revo-whatever-the-heck-it-is, I don't have to rely on the system.
I think I'm getting more radical because of school. I love school because I get to study tons of cool topics all the time with super cool people who are 10x more radical than me... my latest topics have ranged from providing service-enriched housing for emancipated foster care youth to discussing gentrification in asian am neighborhoods to the struggle for the rights of day laborers. My classmates and I talk about "revolution" all the time. I don't think I even know what it is, but one of my classmates seems to think that I should be the one to start it. I can't even speak up in class, what makes him think I can do something revolutionary?
Dang, and speaking of revolutionaries or lack thereof -- where the hell are Asian voters? Oh yeah, they don't vote. I saw a news report about the special election last week and they featured "apathetic voters" -- all of whom were Asian college kids from uc-la. I was so pissed. Once again there was the media portrayal of the of asian youth as civically disengaged and unaffected by critical social issues. Where are all the serious Asians? What is it going to take for Asians to realize that there is oppression going on toward our community? When are those rich apathetic comfortable Asians going to stand up and realize that our individual social standing does not exclude us from collective racism and that we need to be represented in the larger social change movement?
I think I'm going to create a gang and label them "young, gifted--and Asian", and NOT include smart asians who don't give a damn but include only asians who actually represent. I've already got my "gang of_four" at school. Who else is with me? Raise your fists.
11/08/2005
Minsoo and I are kind of a sad pair.
On Sunday night, he cut his finger on a broken glass mug that fell into our sink. He has this fat bandage on his hand that I have to help him replace everyday.
- 1 digit (right ring finger)
On Monday I went to the podiatrist to get my toe fixed. Hopefully this is the last time. The podiatrist promised that my shoes would no longer sit lonely in my closet. He also promised that I'd be able to get into my JimmyChoos after this procedure. I am now committed to buying my first pair of JCs when my toe heals as a form of celebration.
- 1 digit (right big toe)
Today I got a call from Minsoo as I was going to school. He got rear ended by a car on the 10. The back bumper fell off and he had to grab it off the road and toss it into his trunk. Now he has a seriously sore back and possibly whiplash.
-1 neck/back movement.
= 3 body parts that are messed up.
We went grocery shopping today and it was sort of sad. I drove superslow because my toe was hurting and he couldn't drive. We meandered through the aisles because I couldn't walk fast and it took us longer than usually to empty our cart, load up the car and carry our groceries up the stairs. I felt like we were an old couple in our 80s doing errands.
On Sunday night, he cut his finger on a broken glass mug that fell into our sink. He has this fat bandage on his hand that I have to help him replace everyday.
- 1 digit (right ring finger)
On Monday I went to the podiatrist to get my toe fixed. Hopefully this is the last time. The podiatrist promised that my shoes would no longer sit lonely in my closet. He also promised that I'd be able to get into my JimmyChoos after this procedure. I am now committed to buying my first pair of JCs when my toe heals as a form of celebration.
- 1 digit (right big toe)
Today I got a call from Minsoo as I was going to school. He got rear ended by a car on the 10. The back bumper fell off and he had to grab it off the road and toss it into his trunk. Now he has a seriously sore back and possibly whiplash.
-1 neck/back movement.
= 3 body parts that are messed up.
We went grocery shopping today and it was sort of sad. I drove superslow because my toe was hurting and he couldn't drive. We meandered through the aisles because I couldn't walk fast and it took us longer than usually to empty our cart, load up the car and carry our groceries up the stairs. I felt like we were an old couple in our 80s doing errands.
11/06/2005
specialelection -- kiss my ass.
Let's talking about Tuesday. Do you know what tuesday is? It's the day when most people say: "crap, I forgot." or "really, it was today???" or "didn't I just do it in may?" Yes, it's special electionday. I am pretty pissed that my taxes (and I paid a lot last year) are paying for this ridiculous attempt at "reform." Anyway, my personal theme for this election comes from possibly the most annoying commercial on tv right now -- that davidspade credit-card commercial.
If you don't know what to vote for, just vote no. Tell 'em the governor you hate that he's wasting money instead of actually working with the legislature to "reform" this state.
I haven't growled lately on this blog.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Let's talking about Tuesday. Do you know what tuesday is? It's the day when most people say: "crap, I forgot." or "really, it was today???" or "didn't I just do it in may?" Yes, it's special electionday. I am pretty pissed that my taxes (and I paid a lot last year) are paying for this ridiculous attempt at "reform." Anyway, my personal theme for this election comes from possibly the most annoying commercial on tv right now -- that davidspade credit-card commercial.
If you don't know what to vote for, just vote no. Tell 'em the governor you hate that he's wasting money instead of actually working with the legislature to "reform" this state.
I haven't growled lately on this blog.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
10/31/2005
rant of the day
I'm heading into week 5 and boy am I tired. My thesis project has replaced wedding planning as all-consuming-project-of-the-year. The good thing is that I don't have to plan it all by myself (I have four awesome team members) and I get school credit for it!
Anyway, a few rants:
Thanks to tricialae, I read an article in the NYT about feminism. In the article, the author talks about how she received a book from her mom on how to catch a man. Some of the lines from the book were --- "Keep thinking of yourself as a soft, mysterious cat.. . .Men are fascinated by bright, shiny objects, by lots of curls, lots of hair on the head . . . by bows, ribbons, ruffles and bright colors.. . .Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether."
Sarcasm is dangerous??!! Yes, I know that "good" Christians aren't supposed to be sarcastic, but it's been my main coping mechanism & compensation technique for so many years now that I have to believe that minsoo enjoys me for my brand of humor and not in spite of it...
Or maybe it was the bows, ruffles and bright colors...
The author also discussed the theory that as women get more successful, they are less desirable to the opposite sex. A reader wrote in and said that "smart women were 'draining at times.'" I asked Phil if this were true. He just hunched over his computer and said that he was really tired. Hrumph.
My friend told me that he's really intimidated by smart women and that he broke up with a girl because she was smarter than him and he was scared. I wanted to shake him.
I need some sleep. I'm draining myself (although it might be so arrogant to think I'm one of those 'smart women' because maybe I'm not. oh well, at least I can still be sarcastic.)
I'm heading into week 5 and boy am I tired. My thesis project has replaced wedding planning as all-consuming-project-of-the-year. The good thing is that I don't have to plan it all by myself (I have four awesome team members) and I get school credit for it!
Anyway, a few rants:
Thanks to tricialae, I read an article in the NYT about feminism. In the article, the author talks about how she received a book from her mom on how to catch a man. Some of the lines from the book were --- "Keep thinking of yourself as a soft, mysterious cat.. . .Men are fascinated by bright, shiny objects, by lots of curls, lots of hair on the head . . . by bows, ribbons, ruffles and bright colors.. . .Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether."
Sarcasm is dangerous??!! Yes, I know that "good" Christians aren't supposed to be sarcastic, but it's been my main coping mechanism & compensation technique for so many years now that I have to believe that minsoo enjoys me for my brand of humor and not in spite of it...
Or maybe it was the bows, ruffles and bright colors...
The author also discussed the theory that as women get more successful, they are less desirable to the opposite sex. A reader wrote in and said that "smart women were 'draining at times.'" I asked Phil if this were true. He just hunched over his computer and said that he was really tired. Hrumph.
My friend told me that he's really intimidated by smart women and that he broke up with a girl because she was smarter than him and he was scared. I wanted to shake him.
I need some sleep. I'm draining myself (although it might be so arrogant to think I'm one of those 'smart women' because maybe I'm not. oh well, at least I can still be sarcastic.)
10/19/2005
"sketched" out
As part of my graduating requirements, I have to complete a thesis-type project. "The mafia" (aka my Asian posse) has decided to do a group project on gentrification and to get departmental approval, we have to find two faculty advisors to sign off on our project. Yesterday, we had a meeting with our lead advisor, who is Japanese American and defies the "quiet demure humorless asian woman". She gave us some feedback and then we headed off to a meeting with our second advisor, an older white woman who's done a lot of community work and is known for her research on diverse community work.
When we arrived at her office, a classmate was already meeting with her, so we stood outside her door to reschedule a meeting. Jackie (we get to call all of our profs by their first names b/c our dept is "liberal" and wants to do away with the professor-student hierarchy), our prof, was in the middle of rescheduling our meeting, when she says, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt but you guys are soooo cute right now!"
WHAT?
"I just want to [holds her hands as if she's taking a picture of us]... sketch you guys right now. You are just so cute standing there!"
HUH? Apparently our formation in front of her door was like a postcard from the far east. Or perhaps it was an exotic portrait of pan-asian collaboration, a representation of the "oriental" in the west? Should we bow and giggle? Should we have been wearing our "ethnic" garb to reinforce our diverse backgrounds? Or should we have donned a ninja-type uniform to express our unity as "the cute asians who do projects together"?
WHAT THE HELL. In a single moment, I remembered -- I am Asian. And although I am very aware of my race and very aware that I can not escape the color of my skin and the shape of my eyes.
As part of my graduating requirements, I have to complete a thesis-type project. "The mafia" (aka my Asian posse) has decided to do a group project on gentrification and to get departmental approval, we have to find two faculty advisors to sign off on our project. Yesterday, we had a meeting with our lead advisor, who is Japanese American and defies the "quiet demure humorless asian woman". She gave us some feedback and then we headed off to a meeting with our second advisor, an older white woman who's done a lot of community work and is known for her research on diverse community work.
When we arrived at her office, a classmate was already meeting with her, so we stood outside her door to reschedule a meeting. Jackie (we get to call all of our profs by their first names b/c our dept is "liberal" and wants to do away with the professor-student hierarchy), our prof, was in the middle of rescheduling our meeting, when she says, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt but you guys are soooo cute right now!"
WHAT?
"I just want to [holds her hands as if she's taking a picture of us]... sketch you guys right now. You are just so cute standing there!"
HUH? Apparently our formation in front of her door was like a postcard from the far east. Or perhaps it was an exotic portrait of pan-asian collaboration, a representation of the "oriental" in the west? Should we bow and giggle? Should we have been wearing our "ethnic" garb to reinforce our diverse backgrounds? Or should we have donned a ninja-type uniform to express our unity as "the cute asians who do projects together"?
WHAT THE HELL. In a single moment, I remembered -- I am Asian. And although I am very aware of my race and very aware that I can not escape the color of my skin and the shape of my eyes.
10/15/2005
the game
Last weekend, I partied a lot. And by a lot, I mean I was out of the house and consuming moderate doses of alcohol and staying out until the wee hours of the night more than one night in a row. Both were good times, but dude, on Monday I was hurting... and feeling kinda weak sauce. I don't know how law students do the play hard/work hard thing.
Anyway, it was fun going out and watching "the game." You know what I'm talking about. The game is when you're out, scoping out potential dates/mates. Most of my grad school friends are single and we were all out at a fundraising event. My friend was in charge of organizing the event and he seemed to have invited every single woman that he was/is/might be interested in. So needless to say, there were a lot of cute single (and young) Asian girls in the place.
However, my old roommate was also in attendance. Even though I make fun of his lack of game, the dude is not shy and actually DOES have some game (for a nerdy, shorter, pale Asian boy who plays video games). At one point, my two friends were both trying to woo the same girl. However, ex-roommate's game was much sharper and he swooped much faster than my other friend.
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed doing a minute-by-minute commentary on the game with my other friend who is friends with both of the guys too. We agreed not to take sides, but agreed that my ex-roommate played the best game that night, despite our other friends' ability to draw so many ladies to our event. Men, take note -- it doesn't matter if you invite them and they are in the same room. If you don't initiate good conversation AND (this is key) get her number, there is no game (*cough* at our wedding *cough*cough*cough).
I'm definitely surprised at my ex-roommie's game playing. He's kind of - dare I say it? - S-U-A-V-E.
Last weekend, I partied a lot. And by a lot, I mean I was out of the house and consuming moderate doses of alcohol and staying out until the wee hours of the night more than one night in a row. Both were good times, but dude, on Monday I was hurting... and feeling kinda weak sauce. I don't know how law students do the play hard/work hard thing.
Anyway, it was fun going out and watching "the game." You know what I'm talking about. The game is when you're out, scoping out potential dates/mates. Most of my grad school friends are single and we were all out at a fundraising event. My friend was in charge of organizing the event and he seemed to have invited every single woman that he was/is/might be interested in. So needless to say, there were a lot of cute single (and young) Asian girls in the place.
However, my old roommate was also in attendance. Even though I make fun of his lack of game, the dude is not shy and actually DOES have some game (for a nerdy, shorter, pale Asian boy who plays video games). At one point, my two friends were both trying to woo the same girl. However, ex-roommate's game was much sharper and he swooped much faster than my other friend.
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed doing a minute-by-minute commentary on the game with my other friend who is friends with both of the guys too. We agreed not to take sides, but agreed that my ex-roommate played the best game that night, despite our other friends' ability to draw so many ladies to our event. Men, take note -- it doesn't matter if you invite them and they are in the same room. If you don't initiate good conversation AND (this is key) get her number, there is no game (*cough* at our wedding *cough*cough*cough).
I'm definitely surprised at my ex-roommie's game playing. He's kind of - dare I say it? - S-U-A-V-E.
10/05/2005
faith and revolution
I've been spending a lot of time talking about revolutions and movements with my urban planning classmates. This is why I love love love my program so much. It's so refreshing to be with people who think critically, care so much about social change and are freaking smart.
Lately I've had several conversations about church with a few urban planning pals, which has surprised me as I'm one of the few Christians in the program. In fact, I would say that it's so "liberal" that people of faith are an anomaly. Last spring, I had to represent when a classmate talked about how religious people all voted for Bush and are racist. It's sad that Christians are rare in progressive circles despite the fact that Jesus was a radical progressive working for social change. Anyway, it's been weird to be asked questions like "What church do you go to?" or "Hey how was church?" by my non-Christian friends. I've learned to use more subtle and less aggressive evangelism tactics so I've just answered personally and without pouncing on them to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. That being said, it seems weird that my latest convos about religion have come from my non-Christian friends. Minsoo says that maybe they ask me about this stuff because I'm not one of those scary religious freaks. I think it's because I'm such a bad Christian they're trying to test me and see if I'm faking it. Either way, I feel like I am an "outed" Christian in my progressive circle.
My first week of classes is over and I'm tired. So tired.
I've been spending a lot of time talking about revolutions and movements with my urban planning classmates. This is why I love love love my program so much. It's so refreshing to be with people who think critically, care so much about social change and are freaking smart.
Lately I've had several conversations about church with a few urban planning pals, which has surprised me as I'm one of the few Christians in the program. In fact, I would say that it's so "liberal" that people of faith are an anomaly. Last spring, I had to represent when a classmate talked about how religious people all voted for Bush and are racist. It's sad that Christians are rare in progressive circles despite the fact that Jesus was a radical progressive working for social change. Anyway, it's been weird to be asked questions like "What church do you go to?" or "Hey how was church?" by my non-Christian friends. I've learned to use more subtle and less aggressive evangelism tactics so I've just answered personally and without pouncing on them to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. That being said, it seems weird that my latest convos about religion have come from my non-Christian friends. Minsoo says that maybe they ask me about this stuff because I'm not one of those scary religious freaks. I think it's because I'm such a bad Christian they're trying to test me and see if I'm faking it. Either way, I feel like I am an "outed" Christian in my progressive circle.
My first week of classes is over and I'm tired. So tired.
10/02/2005
partying and thinking too deeply
I spent most of my free time deconstructing my daily activities and deliberating over whether my exploits/adventures/calamities/mundane life should be included in this blah-og. This is sad, and indicates that I've got a mild case of OCD. This weekend has already been pretty eventful and since I've been doing a lot of deep thinking while cooking curry and washing dishes sans minsoo, there are a lot of things swimming in my head.
Instead of going to a church-related couples gathering (see earlier post about annoying wife-directed e-mail), I went drinking with single people instead. Actually it was JT's b-day so minsoo, messy and I headed out to a bar in Venice. Two drinks (and feelings of mild drunkenness) later, I was talking to some people when a cute little girl walks up to me and gives me a hug. This girl was a family friend who is like a little cousin of mine. It was shocking to see her -- I remember her when she was a baby, learning how to take a pee in the toilet (we went to the same babysitter). Now, she's hanging out in the same bar, midori sour in hand. Dang, all growns up. It turns out she has friends who know one of JT's co-workers. Anyway, it was one of those surreal, potentially awkward run-ins. I had to double check if she was "of age" and I told her that if she got in trouble with her parents for being out so late (who are like uber-super-amazing parents of the year types), she could tell them that she was with me, since being with me seems to have always made my friends' parents believe the lies. I walked away feeling sort of old. Am I still allowed to go to places like this? Once you get older do you have to "phase" yourself out of the "scene?" What happens if you refuse?
I went to another - very different - birthday celebration tonight. Another family friend was turning 50. It was fun because I got to see some people I hadn't seen since the wedding banquet, including my uncles. My uncles (my mom's brothers) and I have become so much closer over the years. I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. They are definitely not your typical "traditional" uncles -- Let's call them "artsy" -- and have become my second fathers. Since neither of them have kids, I definitely feel as if I have double the attention and know that I will be the one to take of them when the time comes.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do post-grad school. When I graduated from undergrad it was more about "jobs" and now, 5 years later, I think more about my personal philosophy, what that means for the career path I want to take, how this complements/conflicts with the realities of living with a husband and wanting to live comfortably and how this complements/conflicts my personal philosophy that I constantly tout in this blog. And then on top of that, I am always questioning whether I can change anything in this world or whether I should just keep my head down and do the boring stuff that I am good at and aim for nothing more. We get more complicated and as a result, our decisions get more complicated. Or is it just that we think they're more complicated? Anyway, I've been feeling conflicted.
Dang, now I just alienated my two readers. I hate it when I read blogs that rant about philosophical crap that is so vague you can't really figure out what is going on. I just did that. Sorry. Next time I'll talk more about the bars and drinking next time.
I spent most of my free time deconstructing my daily activities and deliberating over whether my exploits/adventures/calamities/mundane life should be included in this blah-og. This is sad, and indicates that I've got a mild case of OCD. This weekend has already been pretty eventful and since I've been doing a lot of deep thinking while cooking curry and washing dishes sans minsoo, there are a lot of things swimming in my head.
Instead of going to a church-related couples gathering (see earlier post about annoying wife-directed e-mail), I went drinking with single people instead. Actually it was JT's b-day so minsoo, messy and I headed out to a bar in Venice. Two drinks (and feelings of mild drunkenness) later, I was talking to some people when a cute little girl walks up to me and gives me a hug. This girl was a family friend who is like a little cousin of mine. It was shocking to see her -- I remember her when she was a baby, learning how to take a pee in the toilet (we went to the same babysitter). Now, she's hanging out in the same bar, midori sour in hand. Dang, all growns up. It turns out she has friends who know one of JT's co-workers. Anyway, it was one of those surreal, potentially awkward run-ins. I had to double check if she was "of age" and I told her that if she got in trouble with her parents for being out so late (who are like uber-super-amazing parents of the year types), she could tell them that she was with me, since being with me seems to have always made my friends' parents believe the lies. I walked away feeling sort of old. Am I still allowed to go to places like this? Once you get older do you have to "phase" yourself out of the "scene?" What happens if you refuse?
I went to another - very different - birthday celebration tonight. Another family friend was turning 50. It was fun because I got to see some people I hadn't seen since the wedding banquet, including my uncles. My uncles (my mom's brothers) and I have become so much closer over the years. I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. They are definitely not your typical "traditional" uncles -- Let's call them "artsy" -- and have become my second fathers. Since neither of them have kids, I definitely feel as if I have double the attention and know that I will be the one to take of them when the time comes.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do post-grad school. When I graduated from undergrad it was more about "jobs" and now, 5 years later, I think more about my personal philosophy, what that means for the career path I want to take, how this complements/conflicts with the realities of living with a husband and wanting to live comfortably and how this complements/conflicts my personal philosophy that I constantly tout in this blog. And then on top of that, I am always questioning whether I can change anything in this world or whether I should just keep my head down and do the boring stuff that I am good at and aim for nothing more. We get more complicated and as a result, our decisions get more complicated. Or is it just that we think they're more complicated? Anyway, I've been feeling conflicted.
Dang, now I just alienated my two readers. I hate it when I read blogs that rant about philosophical crap that is so vague you can't really figure out what is going on. I just did that. Sorry. Next time I'll talk more about the bars and drinking next time.
9/28/2005
second year status
I've always hated being the new kid on the block (though i can't say that I didn't, at one time, love the band by the same name). So it's nice to be a second year grad student in a two year program. I feel less like a newbie and more like the top of the totum pole. It feels like sophomore year of high school when I was on the orientation committee and got to lead freshman around on tours and tell them what to do and stuff.
Today I went to a happy hour event where I met up with some second years and tons of first years. It was cool, except for the second-year contingent was made up of most of the "white kids" (I don't know why I put them in parentheses because they are white) and not my posse of angry people of color. I saw some of the first years that I'd seen last week when I volunteered to be on a panel of second years talking about how to survive your first year. One girl thought I was a first year and spent 10 minutes talking to me before she introduced me to another second year (that i knew of course) and realized her mistake. Do all Asian look alike?
Speaking of Asians....
I saw the freaking LARGEST ASIAN GUY I'VE EVER SEEN IN REAL LIFE. I say this with caps because he's freakin' gigantic! He was sitting down when I first saw him and I noticed that I was as tall as he was, even though I was standing up. He looked big, but I did not think he was a mutant or anything. He came over later to talk to a group I was with and I had to strain my neck to look up at him. What the heck?? I was with two other Asian guys who were not tall and so we looked like midgets next to him. I don't even think the top of my head came up to his elbow. I think that I could have gotten on top of one of the short guy's shoulders' and tapped the tall Asian mutant on the head. Maybe one day I will.
My old roommate and I went together to the happy hour and I tried to help him prep his game (even though he doesn't have any) by letting him know I scouted out the female situation last week and there were a few cute Asian first years. Unfortunately we walked in together and they all knew that I was married and none of them knew who Ben was so we had to strategize how to rectify any misunderstandings. I suggested he wave his left hand around and that after we got a drink, we separate and pretend we don't know each other while he worked his "magic". If you know my old roommate, you will know how funny this is. If you don't, just picture a dorky skinny, kinda short Asian dude with glasses and pale skin who plays video games. Yes, you all know someone like this.
I met the guy who I totally ripped apart at last year's application workshop. Well, I didn't rip into him, I basically told him his statement of purpose needed major work and even implied that he should consider applying to a different program. He got into the program (and thus helped increase the Asian quota) despite that incident. When he asked me if I knew who he was, I blurted out, "Dude, congratulations! I'm so glad you still decided to apply!" I was very glad to see him because I remember feeling kinda bad after that workshop.
Yay for school. I am a big nerd.
I've always hated being the new kid on the block (though i can't say that I didn't, at one time, love the band by the same name). So it's nice to be a second year grad student in a two year program. I feel less like a newbie and more like the top of the totum pole. It feels like sophomore year of high school when I was on the orientation committee and got to lead freshman around on tours and tell them what to do and stuff.
Today I went to a happy hour event where I met up with some second years and tons of first years. It was cool, except for the second-year contingent was made up of most of the "white kids" (I don't know why I put them in parentheses because they are white) and not my posse of angry people of color. I saw some of the first years that I'd seen last week when I volunteered to be on a panel of second years talking about how to survive your first year. One girl thought I was a first year and spent 10 minutes talking to me before she introduced me to another second year (that i knew of course) and realized her mistake. Do all Asian look alike?
Speaking of Asians....
I saw the freaking LARGEST ASIAN GUY I'VE EVER SEEN IN REAL LIFE. I say this with caps because he's freakin' gigantic! He was sitting down when I first saw him and I noticed that I was as tall as he was, even though I was standing up. He looked big, but I did not think he was a mutant or anything. He came over later to talk to a group I was with and I had to strain my neck to look up at him. What the heck?? I was with two other Asian guys who were not tall and so we looked like midgets next to him. I don't even think the top of my head came up to his elbow. I think that I could have gotten on top of one of the short guy's shoulders' and tapped the tall Asian mutant on the head. Maybe one day I will.
My old roommate and I went together to the happy hour and I tried to help him prep his game (even though he doesn't have any) by letting him know I scouted out the female situation last week and there were a few cute Asian first years. Unfortunately we walked in together and they all knew that I was married and none of them knew who Ben was so we had to strategize how to rectify any misunderstandings. I suggested he wave his left hand around and that after we got a drink, we separate and pretend we don't know each other while he worked his "magic". If you know my old roommate, you will know how funny this is. If you don't, just picture a dorky skinny, kinda short Asian dude with glasses and pale skin who plays video games. Yes, you all know someone like this.
I met the guy who I totally ripped apart at last year's application workshop. Well, I didn't rip into him, I basically told him his statement of purpose needed major work and even implied that he should consider applying to a different program. He got into the program (and thus helped increase the Asian quota) despite that incident. When he asked me if I knew who he was, I blurted out, "Dude, congratulations! I'm so glad you still decided to apply!" I was very glad to see him because I remember feeling kinda bad after that workshop.
Yay for school. I am a big nerd.
9/22/2005
So I can be honest here (I think).
[I apologize in advance for offending any married couples if you are offended, which don't think you should be but whatever.]
I love being married to minsoo. I like the fact that he's clean and doesn't smell. I like that after watching tv on a weeknight he doesn't have to go home becuase he's already home. I hate his farts and am sometimes kept awake by his smell gases but he carries heavy stuff up our stairs and cleans the dishes after dinner.
What I don't like about being married is the idea that once you enter the bonds of matrimony you become "the wife". When you meet people it's not just about you... it's about being part of a "we". They expect you to be "wifely", although I have no idea what that it. I have to say that it sort of drives me crazy. Minsoo is awesome and I enjoy being a couple, but I hate fitting into the hubby mold. And besides we both have too much - what do you call it? - "spirit" to become a docile mr&mrs.
Why do I write about this?
Well, I took the plunge and signed up for a small group bible study at a church. It's not just any small group, but a [dreaded] couples small group. I did it because, well, I don't know. I suppose I felt pressured by it. I guess I was hoping that the group would have older people in it since a lot of people at the church are young singles and I like old people. Rest assured, I did not write "Wai-Ling and Minsoo YU" but instead wrote both of our first and last names (because i haven't changed mine yet, not that I don't like the name or being part of the yusa cuz i love it). I also gave our joint yahoo e-mail since we can both check it and thus have joint responsibility to respond.
Today we got an e-mail from the leader. However, it was address to ME. Just me. The e-mail address has both of our names in it and I wrote both of our names in it, but I received the greeting. The greeting was from the wife/leader who gave us details about a welcome dinner:
"Hi, Julie, Wai-Ling, Joy, and Cindy:
blahblahblahblah details blah blah....Hope to see you and all the hubbies there :) Bless. wife/leader blah blah"
All I have to say is this: Why do _I_ have to be the one to get the greeting and the information? Why is it addressed to me? Am I the event planner as the wife? Am I supposed to be the planner? I know Minsoo jokes about me being "master" but somehow when I am expected to be "master" by others, it kinda makes me mad.
Okay, I'm sure I'm overreacting, but dude, if they expect minsoo to play basketball with the "hubbies" on saturday, they've got another thing coming.
Damn, that's why I like my single friends.
[I apologize in advance for offending any married couples if you are offended, which don't think you should be but whatever.]
I love being married to minsoo. I like the fact that he's clean and doesn't smell. I like that after watching tv on a weeknight he doesn't have to go home becuase he's already home. I hate his farts and am sometimes kept awake by his smell gases but he carries heavy stuff up our stairs and cleans the dishes after dinner.
What I don't like about being married is the idea that once you enter the bonds of matrimony you become "the wife". When you meet people it's not just about you... it's about being part of a "we". They expect you to be "wifely", although I have no idea what that it. I have to say that it sort of drives me crazy. Minsoo is awesome and I enjoy being a couple, but I hate fitting into the hubby mold. And besides we both have too much - what do you call it? - "spirit" to become a docile mr&mrs.
Why do I write about this?
Well, I took the plunge and signed up for a small group bible study at a church. It's not just any small group, but a [dreaded] couples small group. I did it because, well, I don't know. I suppose I felt pressured by it. I guess I was hoping that the group would have older people in it since a lot of people at the church are young singles and I like old people. Rest assured, I did not write "Wai-Ling and Minsoo YU" but instead wrote both of our first and last names (because i haven't changed mine yet, not that I don't like the name or being part of the yusa cuz i love it). I also gave our joint yahoo e-mail since we can both check it and thus have joint responsibility to respond.
Today we got an e-mail from the leader. However, it was address to ME. Just me. The e-mail address has both of our names in it and I wrote both of our names in it, but I received the greeting. The greeting was from the wife/leader who gave us details about a welcome dinner:
"Hi, Julie, Wai-Ling, Joy, and Cindy:
blahblahblahblah details blah blah....Hope to see you and all the hubbies there :) Bless. wife/leader blah blah"
All I have to say is this: Why do _I_ have to be the one to get the greeting and the information? Why is it addressed to me? Am I the event planner as the wife? Am I supposed to be the planner? I know Minsoo jokes about me being "master" but somehow when I am expected to be "master" by others, it kinda makes me mad.
Okay, I'm sure I'm overreacting, but dude, if they expect minsoo to play basketball with the "hubbies" on saturday, they've got another thing coming.
Damn, that's why I like my single friends.
9/20/2005
I am now going to write about the complete opposite of katrina.
Laguna Beach: Why I cannot stop watching and why it's rotting my brain
I don't watch the show that much (only in large concentrated doses aka the mtvmarathons), however I spent Saturday at my parents' house (directtv- yeah!) and there was an LB marathon onMTV. When the show is on, I cannot stop watching. I don't know what it is, but all of my natural tv screening processes shut down and I am drawn to the lives of these shallow, ridiculous, rich kids. During every episode, I go through an internal struggle with several phases:
Disbelief:
"Why am I watching a show that leads in with a HillaryDuff song? Who the hell are these people and why can't I tell the difference between them? I'm glad they put their names on screen every two minutes or else I'd never know what was going on. Are these real people or are they child actors? This is weird. Why am I watching a show about high schoolers who are like 9 years younger than me? Too many blonds... Why am I still watching this?"
Submission:
"Why am I still watching this? Oooh is that girl still after that dude? Wait which blond girl likes Jason? Oh wait, is that Talon? Oh crap, brownhaired dude is playing BOTH those blond chicks. Wait a minute, is he going to the dance with BOTH those chicks? Oh no girl you need to dump his player ass..."
Guilt:
"Man, this show sucks. Why am I still watching it? Those kids should get a job. I cannot believe these spoiled kids. All they do is sit at cafes and go shopping. Man, I cannot believe I've been watching these spoiled kids sit at cafes and go shopping. I am pathetic."
Numbness:
"Still... watching... stupid blond teenagers... Need to find out.... what happens when blond girl finds out skater boy has been playing them. Must watch...[insert unintelligble mumbling]"
To quote the fish who gets caught eating poo in FindingNemo -- I am ashamed.
Laguna Beach: Why I cannot stop watching and why it's rotting my brain
I don't watch the show that much (only in large concentrated doses aka the mtvmarathons), however I spent Saturday at my parents' house (directtv- yeah!) and there was an LB marathon onMTV. When the show is on, I cannot stop watching. I don't know what it is, but all of my natural tv screening processes shut down and I am drawn to the lives of these shallow, ridiculous, rich kids. During every episode, I go through an internal struggle with several phases:
Disbelief:
"Why am I watching a show that leads in with a HillaryDuff song? Who the hell are these people and why can't I tell the difference between them? I'm glad they put their names on screen every two minutes or else I'd never know what was going on. Are these real people or are they child actors? This is weird. Why am I watching a show about high schoolers who are like 9 years younger than me? Too many blonds... Why am I still watching this?"
Submission:
"Why am I still watching this? Oooh is that girl still after that dude? Wait which blond girl likes Jason? Oh wait, is that Talon? Oh crap, brownhaired dude is playing BOTH those blond chicks. Wait a minute, is he going to the dance with BOTH those chicks? Oh no girl you need to dump his player ass..."
Guilt:
"Man, this show sucks. Why am I still watching it? Those kids should get a job. I cannot believe these spoiled kids. All they do is sit at cafes and go shopping. Man, I cannot believe I've been watching these spoiled kids sit at cafes and go shopping. I am pathetic."
Numbness:
"Still... watching... stupid blond teenagers... Need to find out.... what happens when blond girl finds out skater boy has been playing them. Must watch...[insert unintelligble mumbling]"
To quote the fish who gets caught eating poo in FindingNemo -- I am ashamed.
9/14/2005
The Katrina Pledge: A commitment to build a new America
Click here to read and sign the Katrina Pledge today. I signed it -- join me. The text of the pledge is below...
Speak out for those who cannot speak, for the rights of all the destitute (Proverbs 31:8).
"The waters of Hurricane Katrina have revealed fault lines of race and class in our nation, washing away our national denial about the large number of Americans who live in poverty and about its disproportionate impact on people of color. We have now seen, and so has the rest of the world, the effects of public policies that sacrifice the common good to private interests and misguided priorities.
In the aftermath of the storm's destruction, a new America must be born in which compassion and conscience reshape our society's priorities at all levels. Together we can transform our country into one where economic security for all is an essential part of our national security.
As a person of faith, I believe that the poverty we have witnessed on the rooftops of New Orleans and the devastated communities of the Gulf Coast is morally unacceptable. Therefore, I join my fellow Americans across the barriers of race, religion, class, and politics in the following commitments:
1. I pledge to be personally involved in helping those whose lives have been affected by this natural disaster - by praying for the victims and their families and by offering my time, talents, and resources to relief and recovery ministries that are meeting their needs.
2. I pledge to work for sweeping change of our nation's priorities. I will press my elected representatives to protect the common good - especially the needs of our poorest families and children - rather than supporting the twin social disasters of tax cuts for the rich and budget cuts that hurt the poor."
Another kickass site: www.truemajority.org
Click here to read and sign the Katrina Pledge today. I signed it -- join me. The text of the pledge is below...
Speak out for those who cannot speak, for the rights of all the destitute (Proverbs 31:8).
"The waters of Hurricane Katrina have revealed fault lines of race and class in our nation, washing away our national denial about the large number of Americans who live in poverty and about its disproportionate impact on people of color. We have now seen, and so has the rest of the world, the effects of public policies that sacrifice the common good to private interests and misguided priorities.
In the aftermath of the storm's destruction, a new America must be born in which compassion and conscience reshape our society's priorities at all levels. Together we can transform our country into one where economic security for all is an essential part of our national security.
As a person of faith, I believe that the poverty we have witnessed on the rooftops of New Orleans and the devastated communities of the Gulf Coast is morally unacceptable. Therefore, I join my fellow Americans across the barriers of race, religion, class, and politics in the following commitments:
1. I pledge to be personally involved in helping those whose lives have been affected by this natural disaster - by praying for the victims and their families and by offering my time, talents, and resources to relief and recovery ministries that are meeting their needs.
2. I pledge to work for sweeping change of our nation's priorities. I will press my elected representatives to protect the common good - especially the needs of our poorest families and children - rather than supporting the twin social disasters of tax cuts for the rich and budget cuts that hurt the poor."
Another kickass site: www.truemajority.org
9/13/2005
let the people rebuild n.o.
Now that the recovery effort is in full swing, the obligatory celebrity telethon has come and gone and the bush team has gone into spin mode to make up for fouling up, I can tame my anger and outrage. But I'm still not done with kat yet.
There's been tons of money being poured into this effort and it's heartwarming; however having experience with working in non-profits, I know that all are not created equal. Many do not spend a large percentage on their clients and instead use them for admin purposes; the relief agencies have often been criticized for not helping the people in the ways they need it.
On top of all the potential sketchiness about fundraising, there's the little issue of poverty. Many people were poor before the hurricane, are receiving minimal aid and then will basically be left to return to poverty after the red cross leaves. I'm sure many more who were on their way to poverty may become part of the statistic after the relieve workers leave. And let's not talk about how the developers will be taking all of that land that once had low-income housing and project and building new homes that are unaffordable to anyone but the rich. I'm not being cynical; increased unemployment leads to increased poverty and increase of free land is like fresh meat to starving vultures (yes, i'm talking about developers). I do recognize the generosity of Americans, however after all of the water has drained, what happens to the millions of dollars of aid that's supposed to be given to the victims?
A woman writing for the nation suggests that the people affected by the hurricane should have a say in how the money is spent and I totally agree. She also provides names of groups who are doing good work in the area:
From the Nation:
Let the People Rebuild New Orleans
by Naomi Klein
On September 4, six days after Katrina hit, I saw the first glimmer of hope. "The people of New Orleans will not go quietly into the night, scattering across this country to become homeless in countless other cities while federal relief funds are funneled into rebuilding casinos, hotels, chemical plants.... We will not stand idly by while this disaster is used as an opportunity to replace our homes with newly built mansions and condos in a gentrified New Orleans."
The statement came from Community Labor United, a coalition of low-income groups in New Orleans. It went on to demand that a committee made up of evacuees "oversee FEMA, the Red Cross and other organizations collecting resources on behalf of our people.... We are calling for evacuees from our community to actively participate in the rebuilding of New Orleans."
It's a radical concept: The $10.5 billion released by Congress and the $500 million raised by private charities doesn't actually belong to the relief agencies or the government; it belongs to the victims. The agencies entrusted with the money should be accountable to them. Put another way, the people Barbara Bush tactfully described as "underprivileged anyway" just got very rich.
Except relief and reconstruction never seem to work like that. When I was in Sri Lanka six months after the tsunami, many survivors told me that the reconstruction was victimizing them all over again. A council of the country's most prominent businesspeople had been put in charge of the process, and they were handing the coast over to tourist developers at a frantic pace. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of poor fishing people were still stuck in sweltering inland camps, patrolled by soldiers with machine guns and entirely dependent on relief agencies for food and water. They called reconstruction "the second tsunami."
There are already signs that New Orleans evacuees could face a similarly brutal second storm. Jimmy Reiss, chairman of the New Orleans Business Council, told Newsweek that he has been brainstorming about how "to use this catastrophe as a once-in-an-eon opportunity to change the dynamic." The Business Council's wish list is well-known: low wages, low taxes, more luxury condos and hotels. Before the flood, this highly profitable vision was already displacing thousands of poor African-Americans: While their music and culture was for sale in an increasingly corporatized French Quarter (where only 4.3 percent of residents are black), their housing developments were being torn down. "For white tourists and businesspeople, New Orleans' reputation is 'a great place to have a vacation but don't leave the French Quarter or you'll get shot,'" Jordan Flaherty, a New Orleans-based labor organizer told me the day after he left the city by boat. "Now the developers have their big chance to disperse the obstacle to gentrification--poor people."
Here's a better idea: New Orleans could be reconstructed by and for the very people most victimized by the flood. Schools and hospitals that were falling apart before could finally have adequate resources; the rebuilding could create thousands of local jobs and provide massive skills training in decent paying industries. Rather than handing over the reconstruction to the same corrupt elite that failed the city so spectacularly, the effort could be led by groups like Douglass Community Coalition. Before the hurricane this remarkable assembly of parents, teachers, students and artists was trying to reconstruct the city from the ravages of poverty by transforming Frederick Douglass Senior High School into a model of community learning. They have already done the painstaking work of building consensus around education reform. Now that the funds are flowing, shouldn't they have the tools to rebuild every ailing public school in the city?
For a people's reconstruction process to become a reality (and to keep more contracts from going to Halliburton), the evacuees must be at the center of all decision-making. According to Curtis Muhammad of Community Labor United, the disaster's starkest lesson is that African-Americans cannot count on any level of government to protect them. "We had no caretakers," he says. That means the community groups that do represent African-Americans in Louisiana and Mississippi -- many of which lost staff, office space and equipment in the flood -- need our support now. Only a massive injection of cash and volunteers will enable them to do the crucial work of organizing evacuees -- currently scattered through forty-one states--into a powerful political constituency. The most pressing question is where evacuees will live over the next few months. A dangerous consensus is building that they should collect a little charity, apply for a job at the Houston Wal-Mart and move on. Muhammad and CLU, however, are calling for the right to return: they know that if evacuees are going to have houses and schools to come back to, many will need to return to their home states and fight for them.
These ideas are not without precedent. When Mexico City was struck by a devastating earthquake in 1985, the state also failed the people: poorly constructed public housing crumbled and the army was ready to bulldoze buildings with survivors still trapped inside. A month after the quake 40,000 angry refugees marched on the government, refusing to be relocated out of their neighborhoods and demanding a "Democratic Reconstruction." Not only were 50,000 new dwellings for the homeless built in a year; the neighborhood groups that grew out of the rubble launched a movement that is challenging Mexico's traditional power holders to this day.
And the people I met in Sri Lanka have grown tired of waiting for the promised relief. Some survivors are now calling for a People's Planning Commission for Post-Tsunami Recovery. They say the relief agencies should answer to them; it's their money, after all.
The idea could take hold in the United States, and it must. Because there is only one thing that can compensate the victims of this most human of natural disasters, and that is what has been denied them throughout: power. It will be a long and difficult battle, but New Orleans' evacuees should draw strength from the knowledge that they are no longer poor people; they are rich people who have been temporarily locked out of their bank accounts.
Those wanting to donate to a people's reconstruction can make checks out to the Vanguard Public Foundation, 383 Rhode Island St., Suite 301, San Francisco, CA 94103. Checks should be earmarked "People's Hurricane Fund."
Now that the recovery effort is in full swing, the obligatory celebrity telethon has come and gone and the bush team has gone into spin mode to make up for fouling up, I can tame my anger and outrage. But I'm still not done with kat yet.
There's been tons of money being poured into this effort and it's heartwarming; however having experience with working in non-profits, I know that all are not created equal. Many do not spend a large percentage on their clients and instead use them for admin purposes; the relief agencies have often been criticized for not helping the people in the ways they need it.
On top of all the potential sketchiness about fundraising, there's the little issue of poverty. Many people were poor before the hurricane, are receiving minimal aid and then will basically be left to return to poverty after the red cross leaves. I'm sure many more who were on their way to poverty may become part of the statistic after the relieve workers leave. And let's not talk about how the developers will be taking all of that land that once had low-income housing and project and building new homes that are unaffordable to anyone but the rich. I'm not being cynical; increased unemployment leads to increased poverty and increase of free land is like fresh meat to starving vultures (yes, i'm talking about developers). I do recognize the generosity of Americans, however after all of the water has drained, what happens to the millions of dollars of aid that's supposed to be given to the victims?
A woman writing for the nation suggests that the people affected by the hurricane should have a say in how the money is spent and I totally agree. She also provides names of groups who are doing good work in the area:
From the Nation:
Let the People Rebuild New Orleans
by Naomi Klein
On September 4, six days after Katrina hit, I saw the first glimmer of hope. "The people of New Orleans will not go quietly into the night, scattering across this country to become homeless in countless other cities while federal relief funds are funneled into rebuilding casinos, hotels, chemical plants.... We will not stand idly by while this disaster is used as an opportunity to replace our homes with newly built mansions and condos in a gentrified New Orleans."
The statement came from Community Labor United, a coalition of low-income groups in New Orleans. It went on to demand that a committee made up of evacuees "oversee FEMA, the Red Cross and other organizations collecting resources on behalf of our people.... We are calling for evacuees from our community to actively participate in the rebuilding of New Orleans."
It's a radical concept: The $10.5 billion released by Congress and the $500 million raised by private charities doesn't actually belong to the relief agencies or the government; it belongs to the victims. The agencies entrusted with the money should be accountable to them. Put another way, the people Barbara Bush tactfully described as "underprivileged anyway" just got very rich.
Except relief and reconstruction never seem to work like that. When I was in Sri Lanka six months after the tsunami, many survivors told me that the reconstruction was victimizing them all over again. A council of the country's most prominent businesspeople had been put in charge of the process, and they were handing the coast over to tourist developers at a frantic pace. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of poor fishing people were still stuck in sweltering inland camps, patrolled by soldiers with machine guns and entirely dependent on relief agencies for food and water. They called reconstruction "the second tsunami."
There are already signs that New Orleans evacuees could face a similarly brutal second storm. Jimmy Reiss, chairman of the New Orleans Business Council, told Newsweek that he has been brainstorming about how "to use this catastrophe as a once-in-an-eon opportunity to change the dynamic." The Business Council's wish list is well-known: low wages, low taxes, more luxury condos and hotels. Before the flood, this highly profitable vision was already displacing thousands of poor African-Americans: While their music and culture was for sale in an increasingly corporatized French Quarter (where only 4.3 percent of residents are black), their housing developments were being torn down. "For white tourists and businesspeople, New Orleans' reputation is 'a great place to have a vacation but don't leave the French Quarter or you'll get shot,'" Jordan Flaherty, a New Orleans-based labor organizer told me the day after he left the city by boat. "Now the developers have their big chance to disperse the obstacle to gentrification--poor people."
Here's a better idea: New Orleans could be reconstructed by and for the very people most victimized by the flood. Schools and hospitals that were falling apart before could finally have adequate resources; the rebuilding could create thousands of local jobs and provide massive skills training in decent paying industries. Rather than handing over the reconstruction to the same corrupt elite that failed the city so spectacularly, the effort could be led by groups like Douglass Community Coalition. Before the hurricane this remarkable assembly of parents, teachers, students and artists was trying to reconstruct the city from the ravages of poverty by transforming Frederick Douglass Senior High School into a model of community learning. They have already done the painstaking work of building consensus around education reform. Now that the funds are flowing, shouldn't they have the tools to rebuild every ailing public school in the city?
For a people's reconstruction process to become a reality (and to keep more contracts from going to Halliburton), the evacuees must be at the center of all decision-making. According to Curtis Muhammad of Community Labor United, the disaster's starkest lesson is that African-Americans cannot count on any level of government to protect them. "We had no caretakers," he says. That means the community groups that do represent African-Americans in Louisiana and Mississippi -- many of which lost staff, office space and equipment in the flood -- need our support now. Only a massive injection of cash and volunteers will enable them to do the crucial work of organizing evacuees -- currently scattered through forty-one states--into a powerful political constituency. The most pressing question is where evacuees will live over the next few months. A dangerous consensus is building that they should collect a little charity, apply for a job at the Houston Wal-Mart and move on. Muhammad and CLU, however, are calling for the right to return: they know that if evacuees are going to have houses and schools to come back to, many will need to return to their home states and fight for them.
These ideas are not without precedent. When Mexico City was struck by a devastating earthquake in 1985, the state also failed the people: poorly constructed public housing crumbled and the army was ready to bulldoze buildings with survivors still trapped inside. A month after the quake 40,000 angry refugees marched on the government, refusing to be relocated out of their neighborhoods and demanding a "Democratic Reconstruction." Not only were 50,000 new dwellings for the homeless built in a year; the neighborhood groups that grew out of the rubble launched a movement that is challenging Mexico's traditional power holders to this day.
And the people I met in Sri Lanka have grown tired of waiting for the promised relief. Some survivors are now calling for a People's Planning Commission for Post-Tsunami Recovery. They say the relief agencies should answer to them; it's their money, after all.
The idea could take hold in the United States, and it must. Because there is only one thing that can compensate the victims of this most human of natural disasters, and that is what has been denied them throughout: power. It will be a long and difficult battle, but New Orleans' evacuees should draw strength from the knowledge that they are no longer poor people; they are rich people who have been temporarily locked out of their bank accounts.
Those wanting to donate to a people's reconstruction can make checks out to the Vanguard Public Foundation, 383 Rhode Island St., Suite 301, San Francisco, CA 94103. Checks should be earmarked "People's Hurricane Fund."
9/08/2005
write it my brothers
There's been a huge response to kat; I'm not talking about the relief effort. I'm talking about the rhetoric and the commentary on America in general. Yes, I'm definitely going to continue adding to the noise, but I guess it's my coping mechanism. It's also a way to talk about serious things -- not just about how horrible the images are or how bad I feel for everyone affect and not about how people are showing such kindness. We all know this.
Here are 2 really good articles that say what I want to say. One is from the guy who does Left, Right & Center on NPR and the other is from sojourners, a really relevant Christian Social Justice org. that bring me hope that there are other Christians who are not religious nuts:
--------------------------------
"The real costs of a culture of greed by Robert Scheer
WHAT THE WORLD has witnessed this past week is an image of poverty and social disarray that tears away the affluent mask of the United States. [JL sidenote: OH HELL YES.]
Instead of the much-celebrated American can-do machine that promises to bring freedom and prosperity to less fortunate people abroad, we have seen a callous official incompetence that puts even Third World rulers to shame. The well-reported litany of mistakes by the Bush administration in failing to prevent and respond to Katrina's destruction grew longer with each hour's grim revelation from the streets of an apocalyptic New Orleans.
Yet the problem is much deeper. For half a century, free-market purists have to great effect denigrated the essential role that modern government performs as some terrible liberal plot. Thus, the symbolism of New Orleans' flooding is tragically apt: Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal and Louisiana Gov. Huey Long's ambitious populist reforms in the 1930s eased Louisiana out of feudalism and toward modernity; the Reagan Revolution and the callousness of both Bush administrations have sent them back toward the abyss.
Now we have a president who wastes tax revenues in Iraq instead of protecting us at home. Levee improvements were deferred in recent years even after congressional approval, reportedly prompting EPA staffers to dub flooded New Orleans "Lake George."
None of this is an oversight, or simple incompetence. It is the result of a campaign by most Republicans and too many Democrats to systematically vilify the role of government in American life. Manipulative politicians have convinced lower- and middle-class whites that their own economic pains were caused by "quasi-socialist" government policies that aid only poor brown and black people — even as corporate profits and CEO salaries soared.
For decades we have seen social services that benefit everyone — education, community policing, public health, environmental protections and infrastructure repair, emergency services — in steady, steep decline in the face of tax cuts and rising military spending. But it is a false savings; it will certainly cost exponentially more to save New Orleans than it would have to protect it in the first place.
And, although the wealthy can soften the blow of this national decline by sending their kids to private school, building walls around their communities and checking into distant hotels in the face of approaching calamities, others, like the 150,000 people living below the poverty line in the Katrina damage area — one-third of whom are elderly — are left exposed.
Watching on television the stark vulnerability of a permanent underclass of African Americans living in New Orleans ghettos is terrifying. It should be remembered, however, that even when hurricanes are not threatening their lives and sanity, they live in rotting housing complexes, attend embarrassingly ill-equipped public schools and, lacking adequate police protection, are frequently terrorized by unemployed, uneducated young men.
In fact, rather than an anomaly, the public suffering of these desperate Americans is a symbol for a nation that is becoming progressively poorer under the leadership of the party of Big Business. As Katrina was making its devastating landfall, the U.S. Census Bureau released new figures that show that since 1999, the income of the poorest fifth of Americans has dropped 8.7% in inflation-adjusted dollars. Last year alone, 1.1 million were added to the 36 million already on the poverty rolls.
For those who have trouble with statistics, here's the shorthand: The rich have been getting richer and the poor have been getting, in the ripe populist language of Louisiana's legendary Long, the shaft.[JL sidenote: YOU DAMN RIGHT.]
These are people who have long since been abandoned to their fate. Despite the deep religiosity of the Gulf States and the United States in general, it is the gods of greed that seem to rule. Case in point: The crucial New Orleans marshland that absorbs excess water during storms has been greatly denuded by rampant commercial development allowed by a deregulation-crazy culture that favors a quick buck over long-term community benefits. [GRRRR.]
Given all this, it is no surprise that leaders, from the White House on down, haven't done right by the people of New Orleans and the rest of the region, before and after what insurance companies insultingly call an "act of God."
Fact is, most of them, and especially our president, just don't care about the people who can't afford to attend political fundraisers or pay for high-priced lobbyists. No, these folks are supposed to be cruising on the rising tide of a booming, unregulated economy that "floats all boats."
They were left floating all right."
------------------
From Sojo mail:
Acts of God or sins of humanity?
by Wes Granberg-Michaelson
From a vacation cottage Karin and I watched on TV as the desolation unfolded in New Orleans and the Gulf coast. Through that agonizing week we sat helpless with millions, while the world's most technologically powerful nation could not provide food, water, and rescue to fellow citizens whose desperate faces filled our screen and haunted our consciences.
Commentators described Hurricane Katrina as a "natural disaster," or at times as an "act of God," like language used in some insurance policies describing events beyond human control. It means no one is liable. Except, of course, God. And that's what troubles me. How can a God of love, Creator of all that is, be responsible for such terrible, destructive disasters?
But as I listened, reflected, and prayed during that week, another question emerged. Just how "natural" was this disaster? Consider this, for instance. When Katrina left the Florida coast, it was classified as a "tropical storm" - not even a hurricane. It picked up tremendous power as it passed through the Gulf of Mexico, in part, experts think, because the waters of the Gulf were two degrees warmer than normal. So by the time it reached New Orleans, it was a category four hurricane.
Years before becoming general secretary of the Reformed Church in America, I led a group studying global warming and the responsibility of the churches for preserving the environment when I served as director of Church and Society for the World Council of Churches. Even then (1990), a clear global scientific consensus warned that global warming due to human causes - especially the accelerated use of fossil fuels - was causing disruptive climate changes. And I clearly remember listening to scientists say that one effect could be that storms such as hurricanes would increase in their intensity and destructive effects because of warmer waters and changing sea levels. So a part of Katrina's fury was not completely "natural."
And there's more. New Orleans was built between the Mississippi River and the Gulf of Mexico, with much of the city below sea level. Its vulnerability to flooding from hurricanes was partly protected by the wetlands between the city and the Gulf. These act like a "speed bump," absorbing and lowering some of a hurricane's force. But they've been disappearing, making way for shopping malls, condos, and roads, so 25 square miles are lost each year - an area the size of Manhattan. And the city has kept moving closer to the Gulf.
Moreover, the levees and dams constructed to protect the city and "control" the Mississippi deprive the wetlands from the sediments and nutrients that naturally would replenish its life. There's a lot "unnatural" about this "act of God."
And then, consider the victims. Those who have suffered the most are the poorest, and most of them are black. Twenty-seven percent of New Orleans residents lived below the poverty line, and many of those simply had no cars, or no money, and no way to leave. That also isn't "natural." The poverty rate, and the gap between rich and poor, continues to increase in this nation, and that is a national disgrace. More to our point, that's a sin, condemned by literally hundreds of verses of scripture. Those most vulnerable to Katrina have been kept on society's margins by persistent economic injustice and racism.
I celebrate the tides of compassion flowing in the wake of Katrina. Organizations such as Church World Service and the Salvation Army bear the compassion of Christ to the desolate, homeless, and hopeless. And I still don't fully understand why, in the providence of a loving and all-powerful God of creation, things like hurricanes and earthquakes happen.
But I do know this. When I see the devastating effects of Katrina, I don't simply regard these as an inexplicable "act of God." I also focus on the sins of humanity. We've disobeyed God's clear biblical instructions to preserve the integrity of God's good creation, and to overcome the scourge of poverty. In the aftermath of Katrina, we desperately need not only compassion, but also repentance.
There's been a huge response to kat; I'm not talking about the relief effort. I'm talking about the rhetoric and the commentary on America in general. Yes, I'm definitely going to continue adding to the noise, but I guess it's my coping mechanism. It's also a way to talk about serious things -- not just about how horrible the images are or how bad I feel for everyone affect and not about how people are showing such kindness. We all know this.
Here are 2 really good articles that say what I want to say. One is from the guy who does Left, Right & Center on NPR and the other is from sojourners, a really relevant Christian Social Justice org. that bring me hope that there are other Christians who are not religious nuts:
--------------------------------
"The real costs of a culture of greed by Robert Scheer
WHAT THE WORLD has witnessed this past week is an image of poverty and social disarray that tears away the affluent mask of the United States. [JL sidenote: OH HELL YES.]
Instead of the much-celebrated American can-do machine that promises to bring freedom and prosperity to less fortunate people abroad, we have seen a callous official incompetence that puts even Third World rulers to shame. The well-reported litany of mistakes by the Bush administration in failing to prevent and respond to Katrina's destruction grew longer with each hour's grim revelation from the streets of an apocalyptic New Orleans.
Yet the problem is much deeper. For half a century, free-market purists have to great effect denigrated the essential role that modern government performs as some terrible liberal plot. Thus, the symbolism of New Orleans' flooding is tragically apt: Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal and Louisiana Gov. Huey Long's ambitious populist reforms in the 1930s eased Louisiana out of feudalism and toward modernity; the Reagan Revolution and the callousness of both Bush administrations have sent them back toward the abyss.
Now we have a president who wastes tax revenues in Iraq instead of protecting us at home. Levee improvements were deferred in recent years even after congressional approval, reportedly prompting EPA staffers to dub flooded New Orleans "Lake George."
None of this is an oversight, or simple incompetence. It is the result of a campaign by most Republicans and too many Democrats to systematically vilify the role of government in American life. Manipulative politicians have convinced lower- and middle-class whites that their own economic pains were caused by "quasi-socialist" government policies that aid only poor brown and black people — even as corporate profits and CEO salaries soared.
For decades we have seen social services that benefit everyone — education, community policing, public health, environmental protections and infrastructure repair, emergency services — in steady, steep decline in the face of tax cuts and rising military spending. But it is a false savings; it will certainly cost exponentially more to save New Orleans than it would have to protect it in the first place.
And, although the wealthy can soften the blow of this national decline by sending their kids to private school, building walls around their communities and checking into distant hotels in the face of approaching calamities, others, like the 150,000 people living below the poverty line in the Katrina damage area — one-third of whom are elderly — are left exposed.
Watching on television the stark vulnerability of a permanent underclass of African Americans living in New Orleans ghettos is terrifying. It should be remembered, however, that even when hurricanes are not threatening their lives and sanity, they live in rotting housing complexes, attend embarrassingly ill-equipped public schools and, lacking adequate police protection, are frequently terrorized by unemployed, uneducated young men.
In fact, rather than an anomaly, the public suffering of these desperate Americans is a symbol for a nation that is becoming progressively poorer under the leadership of the party of Big Business. As Katrina was making its devastating landfall, the U.S. Census Bureau released new figures that show that since 1999, the income of the poorest fifth of Americans has dropped 8.7% in inflation-adjusted dollars. Last year alone, 1.1 million were added to the 36 million already on the poverty rolls.
For those who have trouble with statistics, here's the shorthand: The rich have been getting richer and the poor have been getting, in the ripe populist language of Louisiana's legendary Long, the shaft.[JL sidenote: YOU DAMN RIGHT.]
These are people who have long since been abandoned to their fate. Despite the deep religiosity of the Gulf States and the United States in general, it is the gods of greed that seem to rule. Case in point: The crucial New Orleans marshland that absorbs excess water during storms has been greatly denuded by rampant commercial development allowed by a deregulation-crazy culture that favors a quick buck over long-term community benefits. [GRRRR.]
Given all this, it is no surprise that leaders, from the White House on down, haven't done right by the people of New Orleans and the rest of the region, before and after what insurance companies insultingly call an "act of God."
Fact is, most of them, and especially our president, just don't care about the people who can't afford to attend political fundraisers or pay for high-priced lobbyists. No, these folks are supposed to be cruising on the rising tide of a booming, unregulated economy that "floats all boats."
They were left floating all right."
------------------
From Sojo mail:
Acts of God or sins of humanity?
by Wes Granberg-Michaelson
From a vacation cottage Karin and I watched on TV as the desolation unfolded in New Orleans and the Gulf coast. Through that agonizing week we sat helpless with millions, while the world's most technologically powerful nation could not provide food, water, and rescue to fellow citizens whose desperate faces filled our screen and haunted our consciences.
Commentators described Hurricane Katrina as a "natural disaster," or at times as an "act of God," like language used in some insurance policies describing events beyond human control. It means no one is liable. Except, of course, God. And that's what troubles me. How can a God of love, Creator of all that is, be responsible for such terrible, destructive disasters?
But as I listened, reflected, and prayed during that week, another question emerged. Just how "natural" was this disaster? Consider this, for instance. When Katrina left the Florida coast, it was classified as a "tropical storm" - not even a hurricane. It picked up tremendous power as it passed through the Gulf of Mexico, in part, experts think, because the waters of the Gulf were two degrees warmer than normal. So by the time it reached New Orleans, it was a category four hurricane.
Years before becoming general secretary of the Reformed Church in America, I led a group studying global warming and the responsibility of the churches for preserving the environment when I served as director of Church and Society for the World Council of Churches. Even then (1990), a clear global scientific consensus warned that global warming due to human causes - especially the accelerated use of fossil fuels - was causing disruptive climate changes. And I clearly remember listening to scientists say that one effect could be that storms such as hurricanes would increase in their intensity and destructive effects because of warmer waters and changing sea levels. So a part of Katrina's fury was not completely "natural."
And there's more. New Orleans was built between the Mississippi River and the Gulf of Mexico, with much of the city below sea level. Its vulnerability to flooding from hurricanes was partly protected by the wetlands between the city and the Gulf. These act like a "speed bump," absorbing and lowering some of a hurricane's force. But they've been disappearing, making way for shopping malls, condos, and roads, so 25 square miles are lost each year - an area the size of Manhattan. And the city has kept moving closer to the Gulf.
Moreover, the levees and dams constructed to protect the city and "control" the Mississippi deprive the wetlands from the sediments and nutrients that naturally would replenish its life. There's a lot "unnatural" about this "act of God."
And then, consider the victims. Those who have suffered the most are the poorest, and most of them are black. Twenty-seven percent of New Orleans residents lived below the poverty line, and many of those simply had no cars, or no money, and no way to leave. That also isn't "natural." The poverty rate, and the gap between rich and poor, continues to increase in this nation, and that is a national disgrace. More to our point, that's a sin, condemned by literally hundreds of verses of scripture. Those most vulnerable to Katrina have been kept on society's margins by persistent economic injustice and racism.
I celebrate the tides of compassion flowing in the wake of Katrina. Organizations such as Church World Service and the Salvation Army bear the compassion of Christ to the desolate, homeless, and hopeless. And I still don't fully understand why, in the providence of a loving and all-powerful God of creation, things like hurricanes and earthquakes happen.
But I do know this. When I see the devastating effects of Katrina, I don't simply regard these as an inexplicable "act of God." I also focus on the sins of humanity. We've disobeyed God's clear biblical instructions to preserve the integrity of God's good creation, and to overcome the scourge of poverty. In the aftermath of Katrina, we desperately need not only compassion, but also repentance.
9/05/2005
big bad kat
Okay, I'm throwing my blogging hat into the ring to talk about the latest human tragedy. Here's a few thoughts that I'm sure have already been articulated, but sum up my thoughts:
- Institutional Racism. Oh yeah, I'm one of those. It's not a conspiracy, but inherent inequalities built into our system which reinforce these racial dichotomies. People didn't consciously decide only to help white people get out of N.O. It's that those with resources, those who have been benefiting from policies (i.e. more money to expand freeways but not public transportation, cutting taxes for the rich while poor urban schools struggle) geared toward the rich who had the ability to exit the city. So who was left? The poor people. And yes, those people are people of color, which is no surprise since they live in the poorest neighborhoods... I could go on but I'll move toward...
- Yellow/Brown people. Where they heck are they on the news? My grandfather was a pastor in Mississipi so I KNOW there are Chinese people there. There are a few stories here and there about Vietnamese in N.O. area but dude, come on. Once again, it's a black-white issue, with no room for a discussion of people of color as a group. Sometimes the apathy of Asians can't be blamed because heck, we never see what's going on with our people. As far as some of us are concerned, we all live in subdivisions near urban areas with asian supermarkets. Damn I hate those 'burbs. Wow I digress...
- No one listens to researchers & experts. I was sad to hear about those reports that predicted mass destruction after a hurricane hit LA. Urban planners do that type of stuff all the time and make suggestions for change. It made me question how much change can be made if you're only making suggestions for change and not in charge of making those suggestions a reality. It's like in the movies when the nerd predicts the bad things that are going to happen and no one listens to him so he just goes crazy. Eventually the "hero" finds this guys who's gone insane and the nerd becomes the kooky sidekick. Wait, was that a movie I actually watched?
- Disaster relief. I love generosity, but I hate it that once again, it takes a big one-time event to make people be generous and to make us aware of the poor.
- Brokenness is so sad. It always is. I am thankful for what I've got and I definitely don't give thanks enough.
Okay, I'm throwing my blogging hat into the ring to talk about the latest human tragedy. Here's a few thoughts that I'm sure have already been articulated, but sum up my thoughts:
- Institutional Racism. Oh yeah, I'm one of those. It's not a conspiracy, but inherent inequalities built into our system which reinforce these racial dichotomies. People didn't consciously decide only to help white people get out of N.O. It's that those with resources, those who have been benefiting from policies (i.e. more money to expand freeways but not public transportation, cutting taxes for the rich while poor urban schools struggle) geared toward the rich who had the ability to exit the city. So who was left? The poor people. And yes, those people are people of color, which is no surprise since they live in the poorest neighborhoods... I could go on but I'll move toward...
- Yellow/Brown people. Where they heck are they on the news? My grandfather was a pastor in Mississipi so I KNOW there are Chinese people there. There are a few stories here and there about Vietnamese in N.O. area but dude, come on. Once again, it's a black-white issue, with no room for a discussion of people of color as a group. Sometimes the apathy of Asians can't be blamed because heck, we never see what's going on with our people. As far as some of us are concerned, we all live in subdivisions near urban areas with asian supermarkets. Damn I hate those 'burbs. Wow I digress...
- No one listens to researchers & experts. I was sad to hear about those reports that predicted mass destruction after a hurricane hit LA. Urban planners do that type of stuff all the time and make suggestions for change. It made me question how much change can be made if you're only making suggestions for change and not in charge of making those suggestions a reality. It's like in the movies when the nerd predicts the bad things that are going to happen and no one listens to him so he just goes crazy. Eventually the "hero" finds this guys who's gone insane and the nerd becomes the kooky sidekick. Wait, was that a movie I actually watched?
- Disaster relief. I love generosity, but I hate it that once again, it takes a big one-time event to make people be generous and to make us aware of the poor.
- Brokenness is so sad. It always is. I am thankful for what I've got and I definitely don't give thanks enough.
8/25/2005
now that i have more time on my hands...
I have more time to rant about the crazies of this world. Two cases I'd like to highlight:
- the Chinese girl who uses T0m Cruise as her hero. And, um that crazy picture, which I assume is the book cover, in which she's wearing that red nightie is wrong, so wrong. On so many levels, so sad. An embarrassment to me as an AA woman. Horrible.
- PatR0bertson. Crazy. crazy. crazy. crazy. crazy. Go to www.sojo.net and read Wallis' article entitled: "Pat R0bertson: An embarrassment to the church." Oh yeah, this is what I'm talking about.
These things make want to growl. GRRRRRRRR!
I have more time to rant about the crazies of this world. Two cases I'd like to highlight:
- the Chinese girl who uses T0m Cruise as her hero. And, um that crazy picture, which I assume is the book cover, in which she's wearing that red nightie is wrong, so wrong. On so many levels, so sad. An embarrassment to me as an AA woman. Horrible.
- PatR0bertson. Crazy. crazy. crazy. crazy. crazy. Go to www.sojo.net and read Wallis' article entitled: "Pat R0bertson: An embarrassment to the church." Oh yeah, this is what I'm talking about.
These things make want to growl. GRRRRRRRR!
8/23/2005
my lazy days of summer
Nothing much going on here. I've been spending most of my time in the apartment, away from temptations to spend money. Yesterday, I left the apartment to hang out with a school friend in K-town (btw, why are K-town cafes so friggin expensive?) and tonight minsoo took me out for a walk on 3rd st in SaMo (my new abbr for SantaMonica). Luckily I had HarryPotter5 & TV show DVDs to keep me company. We also bought a cheapo antenna to help with the no-cable-tv situation, so I get a fuzzy ch4, 7, 11 & 13 as well as all of the Spanish channels.
Anyway, this is all boring. So boring, that even I'm bored at myself. I'm loving this free time but it really makes for a boring post.
Nothing much going on here. I've been spending most of my time in the apartment, away from temptations to spend money. Yesterday, I left the apartment to hang out with a school friend in K-town (btw, why are K-town cafes so friggin expensive?) and tonight minsoo took me out for a walk on 3rd st in SaMo (my new abbr for SantaMonica). Luckily I had HarryPotter5 & TV show DVDs to keep me company. We also bought a cheapo antenna to help with the no-cable-tv situation, so I get a fuzzy ch4, 7, 11 & 13 as well as all of the Spanish channels.
Anyway, this is all boring. So boring, that even I'm bored at myself. I'm loving this free time but it really makes for a boring post.
8/18/2005
just like the billboards of silhouettes dancing against colored backgrounds
Minsoo and I finally did it: We opened up our iP0ds, gifts from our groomsmen. We received the gifts before the wedding but we put off opened up the boxes until we were able to devote time to playing with it. Today we peeled off the wrapping and plugged 'em into our laptops. I am listening to it as I type -- it's awesome! It's also pink, which makes it even cooler. I know that I'm behind the times as it seems like most people have some sort of ip0d gadget, but I'm still going to thoroughly enjoy the newness of it since it's new to me.
Now all I need is a pair of rollerskates and I can be one of those anonymous people in the ads.
So fun, so fun.
Minsoo and I finally did it: We opened up our iP0ds, gifts from our groomsmen. We received the gifts before the wedding but we put off opened up the boxes until we were able to devote time to playing with it. Today we peeled off the wrapping and plugged 'em into our laptops. I am listening to it as I type -- it's awesome! It's also pink, which makes it even cooler. I know that I'm behind the times as it seems like most people have some sort of ip0d gadget, but I'm still going to thoroughly enjoy the newness of it since it's new to me.
Now all I need is a pair of rollerskates and I can be one of those anonymous people in the ads.
So fun, so fun.
8/11/2005
next event: bridal magazine bonfire
I'm sure most of the people who frequent this blog were there, but almost 3 weeks ago, minsoo and tied the kn0t. Yahoo! There's so much to share and I can't share it all, but here are a few details (in no particular order) that made the day one of the most special days of my life:
My hotel room was super fabulous old school. I also reserved this fat suite adjoining my room, which also opened up to my sister's room. The suite was awesome - it had a kitchen, a dining area, living area and tons of huge windows. In the 4 days we booked it we hosted a bachelorette party, open house with friends, super bridal prep room, a chinese tea ceremony and another get together with friends post-reception. Super fun times.
I woke up on my wedding day super happy. Sure, it was about 6:30am and I went to sleep past midnight, but my internal clock was telling me that it was a special day. I managed to stay in an amazingly wonderful mood all day, even while I was screaming at the tux guys about my dad's botched tux. The best part about being super happy was being able to eat all day -- a rare treat for a bride.
My sister/sister-in-laws are probably three of the most awesome women I know. I think I will have to battle it out with anyone else who says they have good sisters. I now have THREE sisters that rock my world. Oh yeah, and a great hubby.
My friends totally came through and made the day a smashing success. It was super beautiful thanks to some hard working ladies. The church and the ballroom looked just like I had hoped it would. Yeah!
Mrs. Yu hooked the bridesmaids up with hankies, which came in so handy, not only because most of the girls were bawling during the ceremony, but because minsoo was sweating like I've never seen him sweat before. When we looked at the raw wedding video footage, you can see me hand him the hanky repeatedly during prayer times so he could wipe himself. The hotest day of the summer = our wedding day.
The Moms' dresses - visions in sage and light green. They both looked amazing and unknowingly picked the same color for dresses, thus coordinating. Plus, the dress colors totally blended with the girls' dresses = cool family photos. I'd have to add that my mom looked more glam than I've ever seen her before. She even bought 3-inch sparkly glam heels that I wish I had worn with my wedding gown!
Happy family members. My 90+ year old grandmother was so happy, despite the heat. She will probably not remember my wedding at all, but when she has a good day, everyone in the Lee family has a good day. I think she also enjoyed the bubbly we served at dinner. ;)
Cool looking cake. I went with Minsoo and Sarah to pick out the cake design and when we went to the store, i totally had a melt down and refused to pick a style. Minsoo made the final decision and I must say, he did a great job. Too bad we only got a tiny piece.
Looking fabulous. I don't think I've ever felt more fabulous than my wedding day. It was amazing. From my hair to my makeup (so much props to KarenKim who worked WONDERS in such a short time without even practicing - amazing) to my multiple dresses, I really did feel like a princess. My acne didn't flare up, despite the stress and my contacts pulled through too. My toe didn't even really hurt! I definitely wish I had been able to wear more glamorous shoes all through the night, but I guess it didn't matter.
Being so happy. Looking back, I can pick out so many things that I might have been unhappy about. However, getting married made everything else fade away. I was so happy and it was so awesome to see friends and family and to just feel celebrated. Being able to make a life-long commitment with my best friend in front of those I love made the day special without any bells or whistles of weddings.
Anyway, I didn't feel like recapping the whole day and quite frankly, it wasn't a totally unique day for those of you who've been in or been to a wedding. I had a great time, was happier than I've been since June 11, 2004 (the day we got engaged) and am totally relieved that IT'S FINALLY OVER. I have yet to burn my bridal magazines in a post-wedding cleansing ritual, but am looking forward to being free of the kn0t and shopping for white accessories.
Hooray! Enjoy some of the pics below.
I'm sure most of the people who frequent this blog were there, but almost 3 weeks ago, minsoo and tied the kn0t. Yahoo! There's so much to share and I can't share it all, but here are a few details (in no particular order) that made the day one of the most special days of my life:
My hotel room was super fabulous old school. I also reserved this fat suite adjoining my room, which also opened up to my sister's room. The suite was awesome - it had a kitchen, a dining area, living area and tons of huge windows. In the 4 days we booked it we hosted a bachelorette party, open house with friends, super bridal prep room, a chinese tea ceremony and another get together with friends post-reception. Super fun times.
I woke up on my wedding day super happy. Sure, it was about 6:30am and I went to sleep past midnight, but my internal clock was telling me that it was a special day. I managed to stay in an amazingly wonderful mood all day, even while I was screaming at the tux guys about my dad's botched tux. The best part about being super happy was being able to eat all day -- a rare treat for a bride.
My sister/sister-in-laws are probably three of the most awesome women I know. I think I will have to battle it out with anyone else who says they have good sisters. I now have THREE sisters that rock my world. Oh yeah, and a great hubby.
My friends totally came through and made the day a smashing success. It was super beautiful thanks to some hard working ladies. The church and the ballroom looked just like I had hoped it would. Yeah!
Mrs. Yu hooked the bridesmaids up with hankies, which came in so handy, not only because most of the girls were bawling during the ceremony, but because minsoo was sweating like I've never seen him sweat before. When we looked at the raw wedding video footage, you can see me hand him the hanky repeatedly during prayer times so he could wipe himself. The hotest day of the summer = our wedding day.
The Moms' dresses - visions in sage and light green. They both looked amazing and unknowingly picked the same color for dresses, thus coordinating. Plus, the dress colors totally blended with the girls' dresses = cool family photos. I'd have to add that my mom looked more glam than I've ever seen her before. She even bought 3-inch sparkly glam heels that I wish I had worn with my wedding gown!
Happy family members. My 90+ year old grandmother was so happy, despite the heat. She will probably not remember my wedding at all, but when she has a good day, everyone in the Lee family has a good day. I think she also enjoyed the bubbly we served at dinner. ;)
Cool looking cake. I went with Minsoo and Sarah to pick out the cake design and when we went to the store, i totally had a melt down and refused to pick a style. Minsoo made the final decision and I must say, he did a great job. Too bad we only got a tiny piece.
Looking fabulous. I don't think I've ever felt more fabulous than my wedding day. It was amazing. From my hair to my makeup (so much props to KarenKim who worked WONDERS in such a short time without even practicing - amazing) to my multiple dresses, I really did feel like a princess. My acne didn't flare up, despite the stress and my contacts pulled through too. My toe didn't even really hurt! I definitely wish I had been able to wear more glamorous shoes all through the night, but I guess it didn't matter.
Being so happy. Looking back, I can pick out so many things that I might have been unhappy about. However, getting married made everything else fade away. I was so happy and it was so awesome to see friends and family and to just feel celebrated. Being able to make a life-long commitment with my best friend in front of those I love made the day special without any bells or whistles of weddings.
Anyway, I didn't feel like recapping the whole day and quite frankly, it wasn't a totally unique day for those of you who've been in or been to a wedding. I had a great time, was happier than I've been since June 11, 2004 (the day we got engaged) and am totally relieved that IT'S FINALLY OVER. I have yet to burn my bridal magazines in a post-wedding cleansing ritual, but am looking forward to being free of the kn0t and shopping for white accessories.
Hooray! Enjoy some of the pics below.
7/23/2005
7/18/2005
get me to that altar.
This is my last post before I drive up north to get hitched. My car is packed with things that in any normal situation, I would never have packed for a road trip to SJ. For example - a printer and a weird paper plate with bows and ribbons hanging off of it.
There's a lot of work to be done before the day and each day feels like 5 days packed full of wedding work, worries and drama.
5 more days. Dang, feels weird to write it. Well, not really.
This is my last post before I drive up north to get hitched. My car is packed with things that in any normal situation, I would never have packed for a road trip to SJ. For example - a printer and a weird paper plate with bows and ribbons hanging off of it.
There's a lot of work to be done before the day and each day feels like 5 days packed full of wedding work, worries and drama.
5 more days. Dang, feels weird to write it. Well, not really.
7/12/2005
so true
Wow. Speak and Spel1s are AWESOME.
You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I really really wanted a speak and spel1 toy as a kid but my parents said it was too expensive. I guess they figured I could use the dictionary to spell my own words.
Wow. Speak and Spel1s are AWESOME.
You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I really really wanted a speak and spel1 toy as a kid but my parents said it was too expensive. I guess they figured I could use the dictionary to spell my own words.
7/05/2005
all dressed up and no place to go
This weekend, Minsoo and I headed up to northern ca for a wedding. We got to hang out with some people on Friday night, did some wedding stuff Saturday and then headed up to Berkeley on Saturday night for the wedding. I was excited to see some friends from my old work and to see my friend get married so we made sure to leave the south bay an hour and a half early just in case of traffic on 88o. We made it up to the Berkeley H1lls a half an hour early. Before we got out of the car, I checked my make-up and the invitation one more time. This is when I noticed that I had made a terrible mistake.
(please see below)
(the invitation)
So yeah. I got it wrong. Not only did I mess up the day of the week, but the week of the wedding. I hate to be late to events, but man, being 8 days early is a little much. I was horrified. Luckily Minsoo thought this was pretty funny so he didn't mind this little mistake. He laughed at me the whole way back home. I just kept muttering under my breath that I had muffed it up.
I think this was a little divine intervention because instead of going to the wedding, we had more time up north to hang out with friends and laugh, mostly at my expense. We ended up tagging along on the Bethe1 young adult/college retreat to Monterey, which was a much needed time to just hang out with friends and mess around. I don't think that I would have allowed myself to take a break before the wedding, but maybe it was God's plan all along to give us a little vacation, I don't know. All I know is that messing up the wedding day made for a great story that our friends and family thoroughly enjoyed.
Less than three weeks baby.
This weekend, Minsoo and I headed up to northern ca for a wedding. We got to hang out with some people on Friday night, did some wedding stuff Saturday and then headed up to Berkeley on Saturday night for the wedding. I was excited to see some friends from my old work and to see my friend get married so we made sure to leave the south bay an hour and a half early just in case of traffic on 88o. We made it up to the Berkeley H1lls a half an hour early. Before we got out of the car, I checked my make-up and the invitation one more time. This is when I noticed that I had made a terrible mistake.
(please see below)
(the invitation)
So yeah. I got it wrong. Not only did I mess up the day of the week, but the week of the wedding. I hate to be late to events, but man, being 8 days early is a little much. I was horrified. Luckily Minsoo thought this was pretty funny so he didn't mind this little mistake. He laughed at me the whole way back home. I just kept muttering under my breath that I had muffed it up.
I think this was a little divine intervention because instead of going to the wedding, we had more time up north to hang out with friends and laugh, mostly at my expense. We ended up tagging along on the Bethe1 young adult/college retreat to Monterey, which was a much needed time to just hang out with friends and mess around. I don't think that I would have allowed myself to take a break before the wedding, but maybe it was God's plan all along to give us a little vacation, I don't know. All I know is that messing up the wedding day made for a great story that our friends and family thoroughly enjoyed.
Less than three weeks baby.
6/23/2005
the countdown begins
Finals are over, I'm still working part time and doing a side research project with classmates on slumlords in addition to continuing wedding planning. I know, I need to be slapped silly. I need to stop overcommitting myself.
30 more days until I don't have to plan anymore, I mean, until I get married. I can't wait.
7 more days until we start moving our stuff into the new apartment. Yay!
That's it.
Finals are over, I'm still working part time and doing a side research project with classmates on slumlords in addition to continuing wedding planning. I know, I need to be slapped silly. I need to stop overcommitting myself.
30 more days until I don't have to plan anymore, I mean, until I get married. I can't wait.
7 more days until we start moving our stuff into the new apartment. Yay!
That's it.
6/16/2005
please laugh at me.
i've gone insane.
i am sitting at my dining room table in front of an unfinished paper with books and papers strewn everywhere, crying as I watch t1c's wedd1ng story and drinking a corona (i'm all out of d1et coke, my drink of choice). it's 1:47pm on a thursday afternoon.
i am ridiculous.
i've gone insane.
i am sitting at my dining room table in front of an unfinished paper with books and papers strewn everywhere, crying as I watch t1c's wedd1ng story and drinking a corona (i'm all out of d1et coke, my drink of choice). it's 1:47pm on a thursday afternoon.
i am ridiculous.
6/14/2005
i'll order one glass of whine...
I'm at my apartment, alone. My friend was here, doing a group paper with me, but she left to go to small group. My roommate is done with finals and left to go out on a date. Even Minsoo is going out tonight -- on a date with his roommate to see thebatman movie. And I'm here, starting on paper number #3. Blah!
Man, it sucks to I see my roommate (who spends most of his time at work, at school or in his room playing video games) getting all spiffed up for his date while I'm sitting here, dishelved from paper-writing, in the midst of a pile of books, with a bum toe.
Okay, my glass of whine is finished. I am cracking the whip and getting it done!
I'm at my apartment, alone. My friend was here, doing a group paper with me, but she left to go to small group. My roommate is done with finals and left to go out on a date. Even Minsoo is going out tonight -- on a date with his roommate to see thebatman movie. And I'm here, starting on paper number #3. Blah!
Man, it sucks to I see my roommate (who spends most of his time at work, at school or in his room playing video games) getting all spiffed up for his date while I'm sitting here, dishelved from paper-writing, in the midst of a pile of books, with a bum toe.
Okay, my glass of whine is finished. I am cracking the whip and getting it done!
6/13/2005
This weekend has been a whirlwind of events. I went to Hillary's wedding. I cannot believe she is a married woman -- and before I AM! I am envious. It was great to meet her hubby and hang out with them. I'm really happy for her and he seems like a really good guy. Yay for Hill --- not yay for the booty humid weather. Minsoo and I stepped outside the airport and both said: "gross." Anyway the weekend was cool and we got to spent tons of time with Beast. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. The only downside was the fact that I had school on the brain the whole time. I have three papers due and am not done with any of them. Oh well...
Another exciting event this weekend: Minsoo and I signed the lease on our first apartment together. It was crazy and awesome to get to do something marriage-related instead of only wedding-related. Our apartment is dang expensive (it's LA, after all), but it has has some cool features -- a whole f00ds across the street, a star$s ($=buck) at the other corner and a bl0ckbuster at the end of the block. The bus to campus stops on that same corner too. It's pretty awesome. Minsoo has to drive far, but at least we're not living in a ghetto neighborhood. Hopefully no more calling the cops like I did in Campbell. Wow, we're gonna be roommates! No more posting ads on craigsl1st for me, PRAISE GOD.
5 more day and I'm done with my first year at grad school. Just need to get through this...
Another exciting event this weekend: Minsoo and I signed the lease on our first apartment together. It was crazy and awesome to get to do something marriage-related instead of only wedding-related. Our apartment is dang expensive (it's LA, after all), but it has has some cool features -- a whole f00ds across the street, a star$s ($=buck) at the other corner and a bl0ckbuster at the end of the block. The bus to campus stops on that same corner too. It's pretty awesome. Minsoo has to drive far, but at least we're not living in a ghetto neighborhood. Hopefully no more calling the cops like I did in Campbell. Wow, we're gonna be roommates! No more posting ads on craigsl1st for me, PRAISE GOD.
5 more day and I'm done with my first year at grad school. Just need to get through this...
6/07/2005
i always forget.
I am the worst at remembering birthdays and other dates that don't involve some sort of day off work. This past week, minsoo came over to my apartment and brought me a bunch of tulips. I was surprised at this gesture until I realized why... oh crap. Our 5th year anniversary. Anyway, to make up for once again, forgetting, here is a an essay dedicated to the best fiance ever:
Why minsoo is the best fiance ever. A list By Wai-ling.
- My white girl friends think he's cute. [read: All the girls want to be with him.]
- My Male Asian classmate thinks minsoo (aka AAM) is so cool. [read: All the guys want to be him.]
- He buys me jamba juice when I ask him to. He stopped to buy me one after I had my toe surgery and was in the car whining in pain for an hour. It was green tea.
- He drives far distances to see me. Like the time he drove from SJ to LA to surprise me for my b-day.
- He helped me clean up asbestos.
- He helped me move out of 7 different places in the past 5 years.
- I asked him to wake up at 6am on two holidays to help at the meals on wheels project. It was cold, but he went with me anyway.
- I ask him to come and see my middle school kids show off their stuff at the afterschool project presentations. He obliged.
- I asked him to go to south central LA to take pictures of vacant lots. He did it.
- He lets me watch Ver0n1ca mars.
- Sometimes, I feel like I am mean to him. But he is nice to me.
The end.
I am the worst at remembering birthdays and other dates that don't involve some sort of day off work. This past week, minsoo came over to my apartment and brought me a bunch of tulips. I was surprised at this gesture until I realized why... oh crap. Our 5th year anniversary. Anyway, to make up for once again, forgetting, here is a an essay dedicated to the best fiance ever:
Why minsoo is the best fiance ever. A list By Wai-ling.
- My white girl friends think he's cute. [read: All the girls want to be with him.]
- My Male Asian classmate thinks minsoo (aka AAM) is so cool. [read: All the guys want to be him.]
- He buys me jamba juice when I ask him to. He stopped to buy me one after I had my toe surgery and was in the car whining in pain for an hour. It was green tea.
- He drives far distances to see me. Like the time he drove from SJ to LA to surprise me for my b-day.
- He helped me clean up asbestos.
- He helped me move out of 7 different places in the past 5 years.
- I asked him to wake up at 6am on two holidays to help at the meals on wheels project. It was cold, but he went with me anyway.
- I ask him to come and see my middle school kids show off their stuff at the afterschool project presentations. He obliged.
- I asked him to go to south central LA to take pictures of vacant lots. He did it.
- He lets me watch Ver0n1ca mars.
- Sometimes, I feel like I am mean to him. But he is nice to me.
The end.
6/05/2005
i'm free, but not really
I've been freed from my antibiotics but am now bound to the graduate computer lab. I have two presentations due next week and three papers due the week after that. I'm still limping but hopefully my toe will get better soon. I will be done soon, however, these next two weeks look a little bit scary. In my head, I know I should be all stressed out, but I'm really not because I think I've become numb to all the stress. I'm hoping not to have anything else on my plate or else I might really crack under the pressure.
Also -- people, send me your RSVP cards!
I've been freed from my antibiotics but am now bound to the graduate computer lab. I have two presentations due next week and three papers due the week after that. I'm still limping but hopefully my toe will get better soon. I will be done soon, however, these next two weeks look a little bit scary. In my head, I know I should be all stressed out, but I'm really not because I think I've become numb to all the stress. I'm hoping not to have anything else on my plate or else I might really crack under the pressure.
Also -- people, send me your RSVP cards!
6/03/2005
changing pace
It's been just over a month since I heard about Lisa, my jr/high school friend who passed away of cancer. I just finished writing the sympathy card that I've been hanging on to for weeks. My whole apt fiasco and my toe threw me off and I really wanted to write a genuine card to her parents. In the meantime, I found a good photo to send to her parents, I had the chance to talk to some of my high school friends and do some more memorializing. One thing I learned from Lisa is that true friends are hard to find. I always knew that she was a good friend, but I was too caught up in everything else to really hang on to her friendship. She was kind of a social outcast because she was so honest and I think I sort of distanced myself from her because of the whole trying to be cool high school thing. I wish I had kept in touch with her. It makes me thankful of my long-time friendship with Summer, who's going to be my bridesmaid. You can't take those types of relationships for granted. You also can't replace friends who've known you when you looked your ugliest.
I am also somewhat reflective because my sister just left for her new job in Albuquerque. She stopped in LA on her way and during her time here, I realized how integral sisters are to one anothers' development (in both positive and negative ways). I am going to try and be a better, more prayerful, more patient and more understanding sister. This is a tall order, I know.
I just want to be a better person, in general. You know?
It's been just over a month since I heard about Lisa, my jr/high school friend who passed away of cancer. I just finished writing the sympathy card that I've been hanging on to for weeks. My whole apt fiasco and my toe threw me off and I really wanted to write a genuine card to her parents. In the meantime, I found a good photo to send to her parents, I had the chance to talk to some of my high school friends and do some more memorializing. One thing I learned from Lisa is that true friends are hard to find. I always knew that she was a good friend, but I was too caught up in everything else to really hang on to her friendship. She was kind of a social outcast because she was so honest and I think I sort of distanced myself from her because of the whole trying to be cool high school thing. I wish I had kept in touch with her. It makes me thankful of my long-time friendship with Summer, who's going to be my bridesmaid. You can't take those types of relationships for granted. You also can't replace friends who've known you when you looked your ugliest.
I am also somewhat reflective because my sister just left for her new job in Albuquerque. She stopped in LA on her way and during her time here, I realized how integral sisters are to one anothers' development (in both positive and negative ways). I am going to try and be a better, more prayerful, more patient and more understanding sister. This is a tall order, I know.
I just want to be a better person, in general. You know?
6/01/2005
crazy (me and everything around me)
Things are crazy right now. Today I drove wrecklessly to campus on a bum toe talking on my cell phone trying to arrange my bridal hair appts and cleaning my apt before I move out while trying to remember what I read the night before so I was prepared for class. I ended up safely on campus, only to watch my lunch get cold while trying to limp to class and making hotel arrangements over the phone for the wedding. I CANNOT MULTITASK ANYMORE. I... AM... SO... TIRED.
So today when I got a letter from my school saying I got a fellowship, I thought I saw a ray of sunshine. However, when my mom read the letter closely it read: "The department of urban planning WILL RECOMMEND to the graduate division that you be awarded...."
What does "will recommend" mean? Does this mean I have to compete with more people? Do I get it or will I have to wait for funds to come through?
Why oh why do you have to tease me so?
Final project presentations are due next week. Gotta push through to the end.
Things are crazy right now. Today I drove wrecklessly to campus on a bum toe talking on my cell phone trying to arrange my bridal hair appts and cleaning my apt before I move out while trying to remember what I read the night before so I was prepared for class. I ended up safely on campus, only to watch my lunch get cold while trying to limp to class and making hotel arrangements over the phone for the wedding. I CANNOT MULTITASK ANYMORE. I... AM... SO... TIRED.
So today when I got a letter from my school saying I got a fellowship, I thought I saw a ray of sunshine. However, when my mom read the letter closely it read: "The department of urban planning WILL RECOMMEND to the graduate division that you be awarded...."
What does "will recommend" mean? Does this mean I have to compete with more people? Do I get it or will I have to wait for funds to come through?
Why oh why do you have to tease me so?
Final project presentations are due next week. Gotta push through to the end.
5/28/2005
more toe
Day 4 of antibiotics. I hate medicine. My foot still looks sort of gross. I've been at my parents house for almost 3 weeks straight, with a few trips to the doctors here and there. I'm glad the house has a lot of windows because I'd feel really cooped up. My co-worker and my classmate drove down here to hang out and study with me, which was really cool. I actually spent an exciting Saturday night doing my GIS project. Yeah, yeah, I need to get out more often. You tell my big swollen toe and my partial toenail that. Did you know that antibiotics, ahem, cleanses your system? Ughhhhhh.
On another note: 7 weeks until the wedding. YIKES. If I can just get through the next three weeks of final projects, It'll be all good. I should really just get all of the project done early...HHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH. who am I kidding?
Day 4 of antibiotics. I hate medicine. My foot still looks sort of gross. I've been at my parents house for almost 3 weeks straight, with a few trips to the doctors here and there. I'm glad the house has a lot of windows because I'd feel really cooped up. My co-worker and my classmate drove down here to hang out and study with me, which was really cool. I actually spent an exciting Saturday night doing my GIS project. Yeah, yeah, I need to get out more often. You tell my big swollen toe and my partial toenail that. Did you know that antibiotics, ahem, cleanses your system? Ughhhhhh.
On another note: 7 weeks until the wedding. YIKES. If I can just get through the next three weeks of final projects, It'll be all good. I should really just get all of the project done early...HHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH. who am I kidding?
5/25/2005
probably too much information...
I went to the doctor yesterday because my toe looked gross and there was some oozing. Yeah, gross, huh? I was afraid that he'd tell me I'd need to take antibiotics and sure enough, he prescribed these 500mg pills to take 4 times a day for 10 days. Some people may find medication inconvenient, but I'm one of the few adults that cannot swallow pills. I wasn't very sick as a kid and so I never really practiced popping pills. Anyway, taking medication is not one of my strong points. It's embarrassing, but true. However, last night I swallowed the first pill in the first try! I know, I know, it's such a natural thing to most people, but considering these past few weeks, it's quite significant. Today I also swallowed two pills. Granted, I threw one up, but swallowing 2 is still swallowing 2.
4 pills * 10 days = 40 pills - 4 (2 taken, 1 thrown up, 1 spit out) = 36 more.
36 more to go.
I went to the doctor yesterday because my toe looked gross and there was some oozing. Yeah, gross, huh? I was afraid that he'd tell me I'd need to take antibiotics and sure enough, he prescribed these 500mg pills to take 4 times a day for 10 days. Some people may find medication inconvenient, but I'm one of the few adults that cannot swallow pills. I wasn't very sick as a kid and so I never really practiced popping pills. Anyway, taking medication is not one of my strong points. It's embarrassing, but true. However, last night I swallowed the first pill in the first try! I know, I know, it's such a natural thing to most people, but considering these past few weeks, it's quite significant. Today I also swallowed two pills. Granted, I threw one up, but swallowing 2 is still swallowing 2.
4 pills * 10 days = 40 pills - 4 (2 taken, 1 thrown up, 1 spit out) = 36 more.
36 more to go.
5/22/2005
sick toe
I spent the past few days recovering from my toenail surgery at my parents' house. I can't walk so I use one of our kitchen chairs with wheels to move around the house. I am glad they put in hard wood floors. My toe hasn't gotten better so I'm kind of worried, but I suppose it just takes a long time. It looks pretty disgusting and my toe will never be the same again, but hopefully I won't have the ghost of the pedicure spa haunting me again. It sucks to be moping around the house -- I haven't left the building since friday early evening and it looks like I'll be here for at least another day. I can barely take two steps, so driving is out of the question.
Ack. It's week 8 so only 3 more weeks to go before this quarter is over. I need some motivation.
I spent the past few days recovering from my toenail surgery at my parents' house. I can't walk so I use one of our kitchen chairs with wheels to move around the house. I am glad they put in hard wood floors. My toe hasn't gotten better so I'm kind of worried, but I suppose it just takes a long time. It looks pretty disgusting and my toe will never be the same again, but hopefully I won't have the ghost of the pedicure spa haunting me again. It sucks to be moping around the house -- I haven't left the building since friday early evening and it looks like I'll be here for at least another day. I can barely take two steps, so driving is out of the question.
Ack. It's week 8 so only 3 more weeks to go before this quarter is over. I need some motivation.
5/19/2005
it never ends
It's been 7 days since I noticed water gushing from my ceiling. Today, I went back to my apartment to check out the new carpet that the manager promised would be installed today. It was there, in all of it's new-carpet-smelly ugly brown patterned glory. I started to put things back in its place when I heard it -- the sound of dripping water on carpet.
Oh HELL NO. (as I wave my index finger in the air) There was water dripping from my smoke detector in my room... onto my new carpet.
I called the maintenance line (surprise! no one knew what was going on and they said it would be fixed tomorrow - oh no it would not, I told myself). I found an old message from the manager who gave me his cell phone number so I called him and he came right over.
So tonight, there is a large recycling container in my room catching the dripping brown water. I am at my parents' house.
Oh yeah and I'm having minor surgery on my toe. Remember the pedicure went wrong? It's coming back to haunt me. It never stops.
It's been 7 days since I noticed water gushing from my ceiling. Today, I went back to my apartment to check out the new carpet that the manager promised would be installed today. It was there, in all of it's new-carpet-smelly ugly brown patterned glory. I started to put things back in its place when I heard it -- the sound of dripping water on carpet.
Oh HELL NO. (as I wave my index finger in the air) There was water dripping from my smoke detector in my room... onto my new carpet.
I called the maintenance line (surprise! no one knew what was going on and they said it would be fixed tomorrow - oh no it would not, I told myself). I found an old message from the manager who gave me his cell phone number so I called him and he came right over.
So tonight, there is a large recycling container in my room catching the dripping brown water. I am at my parents' house.
Oh yeah and I'm having minor surgery on my toe. Remember the pedicure went wrong? It's coming back to haunt me. It never stops.
5/17/2005
nice girls don't get their apartments fixed
There's this new book out called "N1ce g1rls don't get rich" and I've adapted that title to reflect my current situation.
My roommate is much more relaxed about things, but I suppose it's because his room wasn't affected and he hasn't faced this situation twice. I, on the other hand, have been calling all of the apartment management and letting them know that I am not pleased at the lack of progress in my apartment. Apparently word has gotten around about my displeasure because the maintenance guy called me twice to assure me of the progress in my apartment. In any other situation I might feel guilty for being so pushy, but in this case I am just glad that this time I am hopefully not going to have to pull out the lawyer card.
I think I've definitely learned more about asserting myself in these situations. Even if it's not a huge inconvenience (which it is!), I've found that unless I let them know that it is, they are only going to do what is in their best interest (which is doing the minimal on their own timeline) and try and placate me with temporary hotel accomodations and cooing "Honey, don't worry, it'll be okay." Um hello -- It's not okay to have to live in another place for over 5 days because of an accident and not be guaranteed pro-rated rent. It's not okay to not be informed everyday if anything is going to be done in our apartment if they weren't able to tell us the exact timeline of the process. It's not okay to honey-darling-sweetheart me ANYMORE. To quote Thomas (the little kid who wrote that note on my behalf), I don't play.
This time, I'm not playing nice girl.
There's this new book out called "N1ce g1rls don't get rich" and I've adapted that title to reflect my current situation.
My roommate is much more relaxed about things, but I suppose it's because his room wasn't affected and he hasn't faced this situation twice. I, on the other hand, have been calling all of the apartment management and letting them know that I am not pleased at the lack of progress in my apartment. Apparently word has gotten around about my displeasure because the maintenance guy called me twice to assure me of the progress in my apartment. In any other situation I might feel guilty for being so pushy, but in this case I am just glad that this time I am hopefully not going to have to pull out the lawyer card.
I think I've definitely learned more about asserting myself in these situations. Even if it's not a huge inconvenience (which it is!), I've found that unless I let them know that it is, they are only going to do what is in their best interest (which is doing the minimal on their own timeline) and try and placate me with temporary hotel accomodations and cooing "Honey, don't worry, it'll be okay." Um hello -- It's not okay to have to live in another place for over 5 days because of an accident and not be guaranteed pro-rated rent. It's not okay to not be informed everyday if anything is going to be done in our apartment if they weren't able to tell us the exact timeline of the process. It's not okay to honey-darling-sweetheart me ANYMORE. To quote Thomas (the little kid who wrote that note on my behalf), I don't play.
This time, I'm not playing nice girl.
5/15/2005
update
I'd like to say I have an update on my apartment, but so far nothing has been done. AND I AM FREAKING PISSED ABOUT THIS. Typically, after 48 hours of messing up the carpet and having huge noisy machines drying the place, you replace the carpet pad and shampoos (if not replace) the carpet. But it's been over 48 hours, if I'm not mistaken and NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE.
I am freakin pissed. A few of my "highlights from this weekend":
- Wearing the same thing several times (I hope that Minsoo and Messy didn't notice. I'm glad Minsoo's parents were only here for one day). I had some clean underwear --thank goodness.
- Driving from redondo to culvercity with my gas light on. Gas is expensive, especially when you have to commute from where you're staying to where you live to check on the carpet and your messed up apartment where NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE.
- have people say, "you're kidding me!" or "you're right, you really are bad luck to live with" or "wow it's almost funny. but it's not."
So I guess I'm painting the picture that this weekend was all bad, which it wasn't. I'm thankful that my parents live nearby and that I got to spend time with (soon to be) both sides of the Family (Yu and Lee). I watched a lot of Ver0n1ca Mars, which I am now addicted to (though my "dealer" aka minsoo only lets me watch 2 episodes at a time), ate some korean bbq, tried on my HanBok for the weddin', got more invites back in the mail (send them in peoples!).
This weekend, aside from the nasty ass brown water coming through my ceiling, was pretty decent.
I'd like to say I have an update on my apartment, but so far nothing has been done. AND I AM FREAKING PISSED ABOUT THIS. Typically, after 48 hours of messing up the carpet and having huge noisy machines drying the place, you replace the carpet pad and shampoos (if not replace) the carpet. But it's been over 48 hours, if I'm not mistaken and NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE.
I am freakin pissed. A few of my "highlights from this weekend":
- Wearing the same thing several times (I hope that Minsoo and Messy didn't notice. I'm glad Minsoo's parents were only here for one day). I had some clean underwear --thank goodness.
- Driving from redondo to culvercity with my gas light on. Gas is expensive, especially when you have to commute from where you're staying to where you live to check on the carpet and your messed up apartment where NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE.
- have people say, "you're kidding me!" or "you're right, you really are bad luck to live with" or "wow it's almost funny. but it's not."
So I guess I'm painting the picture that this weekend was all bad, which it wasn't. I'm thankful that my parents live nearby and that I got to spend time with (soon to be) both sides of the Family (Yu and Lee). I watched a lot of Ver0n1ca Mars, which I am now addicted to (though my "dealer" aka minsoo only lets me watch 2 episodes at a time), ate some korean bbq, tried on my HanBok for the weddin', got more invites back in the mail (send them in peoples!).
This weekend, aside from the nasty ass brown water coming through my ceiling, was pretty decent.
5/14/2005
so envious...
of many people. For instance, I am envious of people who....
... have a place to live where water does not come out of the ceiling
... get lasik surgery.
... have money to get lasik surgery
... are finished with school
... have money. not a lot, just enough to not be in debt.
... have a place to live where water does not come out of the ceiling.
of many people. For instance, I am envious of people who....
... have a place to live where water does not come out of the ceiling
... get lasik surgery.
... have money to get lasik surgery
... are finished with school
... have money. not a lot, just enough to not be in debt.
... have a place to live where water does not come out of the ceiling.
5/12/2005
i woke up this morning...
To the sound of rushing water. Was it my roommate washing his dishes? My upstairs neighbors taking a shower?
NO IT WAS MY FREAKING CEILING RAINING DOWN ON ME. Um, yeah and the water is brown and warm.
I am not kidding. This cannot be happening --- AGAIN. [Yes,that is my roommate.]
Mmm warm brown water
To the sound of rushing water. Was it my roommate washing his dishes? My upstairs neighbors taking a shower?
NO IT WAS MY FREAKING CEILING RAINING DOWN ON ME. Um, yeah and the water is brown and warm.
I am not kidding. This cannot be happening --- AGAIN. [Yes,that is my roommate.]
Mmm warm brown water
5/07/2005
bapt1sts
There are tons of things I can't stand about the Bapt1st church, but since I grew up in one, I defend some of its characteristics, such as full immersion baptisms and monthly communion. However, once again, the Baptists give me little reason to continue my association with them. First it was the racist vbs material, now there's a Bapt1st church pastor that asked people to vote out democrats from the church membership. UGH.
There are tons of things I can't stand about the Bapt1st church, but since I grew up in one, I defend some of its characteristics, such as full immersion baptisms and monthly communion. However, once again, the Baptists give me little reason to continue my association with them. First it was the racist vbs material, now there's a Bapt1st church pastor that asked people to vote out democrats from the church membership. UGH.
my sides still hurt from laughing
I had a hilarious blast-from-the-past tonight when I was studying with minsoo and messy. We were talking about the song "the Gl0ry of L0ve" (we still can't figure out how we we started this conversation) when I remembered that I went to a student council camp where the advisors played cheesy music like the Gl0ry of L0ve and we all shared our feelings and cried a lot. Minsoo and messy couldn't believe that we found this song inspiring. The songs were instrumental versions so I never knew that the lyrics (for example: "Tonight it's very clear, As we're both lying here, There's so many things I want to say, I will always love you, I would never leave you alone." Wow, makes me feel a little creepy about how "meaningful" I found the music to be when I was a teenager.
Anyway, I eventually remembered that the album was called Dav1d F0ster's Rech0rdings, and found it on on amaz0n. If you've never heard of DF, he's the guy in charge of such greats as Chicag0's "You're the Inspiati0n" and the all-time fav0rite war-time un1ty chorus, "Voices that care". Anyway, the Cd was an instrumental only version of these "greats," perfect for putting you in the mood to reflect and share. The camp counselors used to put on the instrumental cd when we sat in circles, psasing candles and talking about how much we were changed by the experience.
Tonight we reinacted my camp days and played the clips from amaz0n as we shared our deep thoughts on diarrhea and farting. It's amazing how inspiration bowel movements can seem when expressed over piano instrumentals of "Love, L00k what you've d0ne to me". I definitely became very emotional while listening to the clips and I have to admit, that tears came to my eyes. Oh wow, there are tears welling up right now.
I had a hilarious blast-from-the-past tonight when I was studying with minsoo and messy. We were talking about the song "the Gl0ry of L0ve" (we still can't figure out how we we started this conversation) when I remembered that I went to a student council camp where the advisors played cheesy music like the Gl0ry of L0ve and we all shared our feelings and cried a lot. Minsoo and messy couldn't believe that we found this song inspiring. The songs were instrumental versions so I never knew that the lyrics (for example: "Tonight it's very clear, As we're both lying here, There's so many things I want to say, I will always love you, I would never leave you alone." Wow, makes me feel a little creepy about how "meaningful" I found the music to be when I was a teenager.
Anyway, I eventually remembered that the album was called Dav1d F0ster's Rech0rdings, and found it on on amaz0n. If you've never heard of DF, he's the guy in charge of such greats as Chicag0's "You're the Inspiati0n" and the all-time fav0rite war-time un1ty chorus, "Voices that care". Anyway, the Cd was an instrumental only version of these "greats," perfect for putting you in the mood to reflect and share. The camp counselors used to put on the instrumental cd when we sat in circles, psasing candles and talking about how much we were changed by the experience.
Tonight we reinacted my camp days and played the clips from amaz0n as we shared our deep thoughts on diarrhea and farting. It's amazing how inspiration bowel movements can seem when expressed over piano instrumentals of "Love, L00k what you've d0ne to me". I definitely became very emotional while listening to the clips and I have to admit, that tears came to my eyes. Oh wow, there are tears welling up right now.
5/02/2005
can't think
I'm tired. Today I spent all day at work writing a paper. I felt like I was trapped in a paper-writing sweatshop (sidenote: sweatshops seem to be my thing right now). It's tiring to work at a job where I'm paid to think hard about innovative stuff and then I have to go home and think of more original stuff. I'm brain dead right now but I have a final project proposal due tomorrow and another due Wednesday. Here's a convo I just had with my school friend Mary:
W: I can't think of a project topic. Nothing original anyway. It's either going to be about economic development South Centra1 LA or ethnic economies in Asian and Latino immigrant communities.
M: What about those papers you read? Didn't they give you any ideas about possible planning GIS topics?
W: Eh, they talked about paying living wages, providing health insurance, advancing economic development policies. Eh.
M: Oh, the usual.
W: Yeah, just your run-of-the-mill urban planning issues.
It's sad that I've become unphased with what most would call "real" solutions to real problems. I guess when you're immersed in it, it just seems like the same old solutions.
I was sitting at work writing about a case study of the feas1bility of a mult1-public agency buying consortium & local industry stimulat0r for fuel cel1 technology in public transit (zzzz...i've lost you already) and as much as my organization is cool, I realized that I don't do very interesting work. I was at my cousin's wedding and when I told someone I was in urban planning school, the conversation screeched to a halt. It was sad. I was reading marian's blog about her vegas trip and reported on her club experiences and I felt very envious. Social change can get really really boring sometimes.
Think, think, think. Ugh. I need sleep.
I'm tired. Today I spent all day at work writing a paper. I felt like I was trapped in a paper-writing sweatshop (sidenote: sweatshops seem to be my thing right now). It's tiring to work at a job where I'm paid to think hard about innovative stuff and then I have to go home and think of more original stuff. I'm brain dead right now but I have a final project proposal due tomorrow and another due Wednesday. Here's a convo I just had with my school friend Mary:
W: I can't think of a project topic. Nothing original anyway. It's either going to be about economic development South Centra1 LA or ethnic economies in Asian and Latino immigrant communities.
M: What about those papers you read? Didn't they give you any ideas about possible planning GIS topics?
W: Eh, they talked about paying living wages, providing health insurance, advancing economic development policies. Eh.
M: Oh, the usual.
W: Yeah, just your run-of-the-mill urban planning issues.
It's sad that I've become unphased with what most would call "real" solutions to real problems. I guess when you're immersed in it, it just seems like the same old solutions.
I was sitting at work writing about a case study of the feas1bility of a mult1-public agency buying consortium & local industry stimulat0r for fuel cel1 technology in public transit (zzzz...i've lost you already) and as much as my organization is cool, I realized that I don't do very interesting work. I was at my cousin's wedding and when I told someone I was in urban planning school, the conversation screeched to a halt. It was sad. I was reading marian's blog about her vegas trip and reported on her club experiences and I felt very envious. Social change can get really really boring sometimes.
Think, think, think. Ugh. I need sleep.
4/30/2005
more thoughts
Lisa's death really made me think about friendships and stuff. It's been hard this year to maintain any sort of social life and I really have not worked as hard to keep in touch with people. I'm hoping that there will be much grace with friends that I've been neglecting this year. One of my oldest and dearest friends called me today, which was weird because I was putting off calling her about Lisa. It was good to remember Lisa with someone else and I think we're both going to try and send her parents a card with some of our favorite memories of our friend. Anyway, as I was printing out wedding envelopes with minsoo in my apartment tonight, I was sort of bummed that my weekends and all of my spare time consists of wedding stuff instead of catching up with the long list of friends that have all hinted at getting together. It's definitely something I've done to myself, but it gets sort of isolating. That being said, it's less than three months until the "big" day and of course, I have a long way to go from being done with it all.
Lisa's death really made me think about friendships and stuff. It's been hard this year to maintain any sort of social life and I really have not worked as hard to keep in touch with people. I'm hoping that there will be much grace with friends that I've been neglecting this year. One of my oldest and dearest friends called me today, which was weird because I was putting off calling her about Lisa. It was good to remember Lisa with someone else and I think we're both going to try and send her parents a card with some of our favorite memories of our friend. Anyway, as I was printing out wedding envelopes with minsoo in my apartment tonight, I was sort of bummed that my weekends and all of my spare time consists of wedding stuff instead of catching up with the long list of friends that have all hinted at getting together. It's definitely something I've done to myself, but it gets sort of isolating. That being said, it's less than three months until the "big" day and of course, I have a long way to go from being done with it all.
4/29/2005
seriously sobering
My best friend from high school, whom i haven't talked to since her wedding last year left a "please call me back, it's urgent" message on my cell phone today. When I called her, she told me that our friend from high school, whom I've known since my truly dorky junior high school days, had passed away. The last time I saw her was at my best friend from high school's wedding. She had been battling cancer but was on her way to recovery. Anyway, it was shocking to hear about her. She was one of those friends whom I really treasured and wanted to get back in touch with, but never managed to. I remember that I wanted to get in touch with her so that I could invite her to my wedding, but i never did. It made me really sad. When I saw her at the wedding last year, the reunion felt bittersweet for me because I realized that years had gone by and she had been through so much.
Anyway, I have a memo due tomorrow but I just can't concentrate. I keep wanting to memorialize her in my head. I keep reflecting on our junior high dramas, our student council times, our group prom picture from junior year, our winter formal in senior year. Thanks for being true, Lisa Rothenberg. I will miss you.
My best friend from high school, whom i haven't talked to since her wedding last year left a "please call me back, it's urgent" message on my cell phone today. When I called her, she told me that our friend from high school, whom I've known since my truly dorky junior high school days, had passed away. The last time I saw her was at my best friend from high school's wedding. She had been battling cancer but was on her way to recovery. Anyway, it was shocking to hear about her. She was one of those friends whom I really treasured and wanted to get back in touch with, but never managed to. I remember that I wanted to get in touch with her so that I could invite her to my wedding, but i never did. It made me really sad. When I saw her at the wedding last year, the reunion felt bittersweet for me because I realized that years had gone by and she had been through so much.
Anyway, I have a memo due tomorrow but I just can't concentrate. I keep wanting to memorialize her in my head. I keep reflecting on our junior high dramas, our student council times, our group prom picture from junior year, our winter formal in senior year. Thanks for being true, Lisa Rothenberg. I will miss you.
4/27/2005
stupid test
Per perfessor's recommendation, I took the "personality disorder test". I'm not going to post the results here, because I was rated "high" for many of the disorders. Wow. Am I that screwed up? Or maybe I just think I'm that screwed up and answered the questions in a certain way, which probably means I have at least one of those disorders. The funny thing is that I rated "low" for the "Antisocial" disorder, even though I thought I had a high tendency toward antisocial behavior.
I know it's just a test, but dude, the results were kind of disturbing.
I've got a memo due Friday that I have not started. Focus, focus.
Per perfessor's recommendation, I took the "personality disorder test". I'm not going to post the results here, because I was rated "high" for many of the disorders. Wow. Am I that screwed up? Or maybe I just think I'm that screwed up and answered the questions in a certain way, which probably means I have at least one of those disorders. The funny thing is that I rated "low" for the "Antisocial" disorder, even though I thought I had a high tendency toward antisocial behavior.
I know it's just a test, but dude, the results were kind of disturbing.
I've got a memo due Friday that I have not started. Focus, focus.
4/25/2005
siiiiigggghhhhh
I just got back from Hawaii. *SIGH* I loved the clear water, warm weather and the overall laid back vibe as well as some great food. Can I tell you how good the sashimi and green tea ice cream was? No, I cannot.
My cousin got married and had a HUGE banquet with over 400 people at the r0yal hawai1an hotel. It was cool to see family and hang out. I was very envious of my cousin as she is now married and no longer has to think about wedding stuff.
Another great thing about the weekend: My sister and I got some fat massages at the hotel spa. My AmEx bill is not going to be pretty next month, however the massage was heaven. I think I need to make money just so I can get regular massages.
In addition to eating, we also did some driving around the island, went to a couple of beaches, and did some walking around waik1ki. That place is such a tourist trap -- I began to resent being greeted in Japanese everytime I entered a store. I guess I looked more like those type of tourists than the big white women from the midwest (there were many). There were also a lot of honeymooners from all countries and Japanese couples getting their "American wedding" on. By this, I mean, the women had huge organza gowns and the men wore grey tuxes with tails. I saw at least 5 couples dressed almost identical in my hotel on Saturday. It was sort of intense. Apparently it's trendy to have the traditional ceremony in Japan and then head over to the states for a western wedding.
Anyway, I'm sad that I'm back. My little mini break was a chance for me to sort of forget about all of my responsibilities and just hang out. Now it's back to writing papers, doing work and wedding planning. I'm not ready! Take me back to the island. I need another round of sashimi and green tea ice cream.
I just got back from Hawaii. *SIGH* I loved the clear water, warm weather and the overall laid back vibe as well as some great food. Can I tell you how good the sashimi and green tea ice cream was? No, I cannot.
My cousin got married and had a HUGE banquet with over 400 people at the r0yal hawai1an hotel. It was cool to see family and hang out. I was very envious of my cousin as she is now married and no longer has to think about wedding stuff.
Another great thing about the weekend: My sister and I got some fat massages at the hotel spa. My AmEx bill is not going to be pretty next month, however the massage was heaven. I think I need to make money just so I can get regular massages.
In addition to eating, we also did some driving around the island, went to a couple of beaches, and did some walking around waik1ki. That place is such a tourist trap -- I began to resent being greeted in Japanese everytime I entered a store. I guess I looked more like those type of tourists than the big white women from the midwest (there were many). There were also a lot of honeymooners from all countries and Japanese couples getting their "American wedding" on. By this, I mean, the women had huge organza gowns and the men wore grey tuxes with tails. I saw at least 5 couples dressed almost identical in my hotel on Saturday. It was sort of intense. Apparently it's trendy to have the traditional ceremony in Japan and then head over to the states for a western wedding.
Anyway, I'm sad that I'm back. My little mini break was a chance for me to sort of forget about all of my responsibilities and just hang out. Now it's back to writing papers, doing work and wedding planning. I'm not ready! Take me back to the island. I need another round of sashimi and green tea ice cream.
Hawaii
I am in Honolulu for my cousin's wedding. I'm leaving tomorrow, but I just thought I'd write in and make all of you jealous. It's 10:45pm and I'm wearing shorts. It's warm and kinda breezy. I got a nice tan today. I ate at many buffets. I had the BEST GREEN TEA ICE CREAM IN THE WORLD. I also had some amazing sashimi. Two reasons to move here. I didn't do any homework. Slacking off is great.
Gotta go before my battery runs out...
going home tomorrow :(
I am in Honolulu for my cousin's wedding. I'm leaving tomorrow, but I just thought I'd write in and make all of you jealous. It's 10:45pm and I'm wearing shorts. It's warm and kinda breezy. I got a nice tan today. I ate at many buffets. I had the BEST GREEN TEA ICE CREAM IN THE WORLD. I also had some amazing sashimi. Two reasons to move here. I didn't do any homework. Slacking off is great.
Gotta go before my battery runs out...
going home tomorrow :(
4/19/2005
it's a vicious cycle
I'm talking about the acne situation. I should probably shut up about it so that people don't stare at it the next time they see me, but I can't get over how icky this is. When all my friends were all acne'd out in junior high, I was zit-free. Now I'm like Ms. Zit. Grody.
So I buy products with chemicals to get rid of it. No such luck. Liars! Then I try the cover-up method of make-up, in part, because I want to practice my technique for the "big day". Unfortunately, everytime I cover up, my skin goes on strike and the red bumps aka my skin's picket signs go up. Ugh! What is this madness? It must be stress.
You know what I hate? When people say, "Don't be stressed! You stress too much about things like this." Um, yeah, like that helps. Stop saying that to stressed out people -- take it from one, it doesn't help, it just pisses them off. Okay, it just pisses me off. I prefer advice like this, sent to me in an e-mail by my future sis-in-law:
"Hope wedding planning is going well. Hope you are doing well. Don't get too stressed. Remember: eloping is always an option. As is heavy drinking."
You are right, my friend, those ARE options.
** sidenote: I just re-read my last post and realized that this post exemplifies the "bad" Christianness that I referred to. Ouch.
I'm talking about the acne situation. I should probably shut up about it so that people don't stare at it the next time they see me, but I can't get over how icky this is. When all my friends were all acne'd out in junior high, I was zit-free. Now I'm like Ms. Zit. Grody.
So I buy products with chemicals to get rid of it. No such luck. Liars! Then I try the cover-up method of make-up, in part, because I want to practice my technique for the "big day". Unfortunately, everytime I cover up, my skin goes on strike and the red bumps aka my skin's picket signs go up. Ugh! What is this madness? It must be stress.
You know what I hate? When people say, "Don't be stressed! You stress too much about things like this." Um, yeah, like that helps. Stop saying that to stressed out people -- take it from one, it doesn't help, it just pisses them off. Okay, it just pisses me off. I prefer advice like this, sent to me in an e-mail by my future sis-in-law:
"Hope wedding planning is going well. Hope you are doing well. Don't get too stressed. Remember: eloping is always an option. As is heavy drinking."
You are right, my friend, those ARE options.
** sidenote: I just re-read my last post and realized that this post exemplifies the "bad" Christianness that I referred to. Ouch.
4/17/2005
confessions from a self-titled "bad" Christian
Confession #1: I like hymns *gasp* better than "praise" songs (btw saying that we had "Praise" does not always means there was singing... pet peeve, but I digress). Am I old school? I'd like to think so.
One of my favorites is "It is well with my soul". I know that my parents & grandparents really like the song and we sang it all the time in my home church. Now there are tons of remakes, which I definitely enjoy as well. I really like the message of the song. It reminds me that my soul is often not peaceful and that it is the knowledge of God's faithfulness that should give me peace... "Whate're my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul"
Anyway, I need some peace in my soul, as usual. Wearing these different hats gets tiring.
Confession #2: Today's speaker asked us to think about whether we view God a road or an end. Do we seek God's hands instead of seeking his face? Sometimes I view God as the carpool lane on the 4o5 during rush hour traffic when I'm driving alone in a hybr1d (hypothetically, of course). Sometimes, I view God as that extra pair of hands when I'm moving yet another time into another apartment with roommates I will inevitably come to dislike. You don't?? Dang it.
Confession #3: I am sometimes reluctant to talk about God stuff on my blog because sometimes I don't like reading people's blogs about God stuff because it always makes me feel like a bad Christian. Ha! Am I bad Christian? The I-forgot-it-was-good-Friday snafu last month probably earns me this title.
Confession #1: I like hymns *gasp* better than "praise" songs (btw saying that we had "Praise" does not always means there was singing... pet peeve, but I digress). Am I old school? I'd like to think so.
One of my favorites is "It is well with my soul". I know that my parents & grandparents really like the song and we sang it all the time in my home church. Now there are tons of remakes, which I definitely enjoy as well. I really like the message of the song. It reminds me that my soul is often not peaceful and that it is the knowledge of God's faithfulness that should give me peace... "Whate're my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul"
Anyway, I need some peace in my soul, as usual. Wearing these different hats gets tiring.
Confession #2: Today's speaker asked us to think about whether we view God a road or an end. Do we seek God's hands instead of seeking his face? Sometimes I view God as the carpool lane on the 4o5 during rush hour traffic when I'm driving alone in a hybr1d (hypothetically, of course). Sometimes, I view God as that extra pair of hands when I'm moving yet another time into another apartment with roommates I will inevitably come to dislike. You don't?? Dang it.
Confession #3: I am sometimes reluctant to talk about God stuff on my blog because sometimes I don't like reading people's blogs about God stuff because it always makes me feel like a bad Christian. Ha! Am I bad Christian? The I-forgot-it-was-good-Friday snafu last month probably earns me this title.
4/11/2005
hope on a rope
It's been awhile since I wrote anything explicitly faith-related on this blogger *sigh*. Today's speaker at church talked about Jesus's talk on friendship and about our relationship to God and his "friendship" to us. It was really refreshing to hear a women speaker talk honestly about her struggles. I was touched by how honest and strong she was in speaking about her very recent medical issues and her relationship with God. Friendship is definitely a complicated topic for me in many ways, but I really appreciated the comparison of God's relationship to us as hope on a rope. She held onto one end of the rope and said that God's forgiveness is his grip on the rope that brings us back (or something like this). She also said that he ties a knot of mercy around our ankles so that even if we lose our way and go astray, we can always tug on it and know he's still there. Now, when I sing that song about being a friend of God (which I always thought was a little weird and sorta cheesy), I'm going to think more about what that really means.
It's been awhile since I wrote anything explicitly faith-related on this blogger *sigh*. Today's speaker at church talked about Jesus's talk on friendship and about our relationship to God and his "friendship" to us. It was really refreshing to hear a women speaker talk honestly about her struggles. I was touched by how honest and strong she was in speaking about her very recent medical issues and her relationship with God. Friendship is definitely a complicated topic for me in many ways, but I really appreciated the comparison of God's relationship to us as hope on a rope. She held onto one end of the rope and said that God's forgiveness is his grip on the rope that brings us back (or something like this). She also said that he ties a knot of mercy around our ankles so that even if we lose our way and go astray, we can always tug on it and know he's still there. Now, when I sing that song about being a friend of God (which I always thought was a little weird and sorta cheesy), I'm going to think more about what that really means.
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