long days
The kids were really horrible this week. At one point I had to take a personal time out because I became so furious at them. I can't believe we only had a 2-day week. I guess the students were antsy about the holiday and our staff was ready for one too. So I guess I'm trying to remember the good times so that I don't spend the holiday weekend dreading coming back to work.
One of the kids on my team is steadily getting better math grades and starting to be really diligent about his work. He got a referral from a teacher for lying about not doing his work. Now he's super diligent. His family speaks only spanish and since my co-worker can translate, we've been having weekly phone meetings. His mother now feels more connected to the school and more knowledgable about her son's progress. Yay.
K, a 7th grader who I spent a lot of difficult time with at the beginning of the year really amazes me. She had the worst attitude about everything and lacked a lot of self-esteem when she first joined our program. At one discouraging point (when I wasn't sure what I could say or do to encourage her to be an active participant), I told her that I thought she could be a leader in our program and I wanted to see her earn a leadership star (we earn value stars for embodying our campus's core values). When I returned from China, I found that she proudly wrote me a welcome back note saying that she had received a leadership star. Over a month later, she remembered what I told her and has really proven to me that she wants to be a leader. Wow, so I guess they really listen... sometimes.
It's really hard on days like today when I think to myself, "I'm really not cut out for this job" or rather "I want out!!" to think about the student's achievements and my positive influence. I'm looking forward to the long drive down to So Cal and the time to process all of my thoughts about those knuckleheads.
11/26/2002
11/24/2002
china on my mind
Since I returned from my trek to the motherland, I can't go a day without uttering the words, "That reminds me of the time in China when..." I'm sure my co-workers, minsoo and my other friends must be tired of listening to me wax nostalgic about my travels to the orient. The consistent references may be attributed to not blogging adequately about my trip. I may continue to tell more stories, but hopefully I'll get it out of my system by sharing some with you...
i was born in the year of the horse, but this is ridiculous...
The other people on my tour were screaming, it was dark, the stench made me want to puke... the images haunt me everytime I enter a public bathroom in the states. The two that tied for worst places to relieve myself: Outside of a temple entrance in Hangzhou and at a gas station on our way to Hangzhou -- large troughs with short partitions and no doors. I am stronger person as a result of these experiences.
don't ask, don't tell
Our tour was run by the government. We did not know this when we signed up. Our tour guide was great, but at times, our experience felt very artificial. The hotels we stayed in were brand new (we could smell the fresh paint), the restaurants and shops we were taken to were all government run. The tour guide never spoke critically about the government and the country. It was surreal. At times I felt that if I turned around after we left one of our tour stops, there would be nothing there -- like an optical illusion. The accomodations were great and the stores were well run, but it was eerie. When we visited Tienanmen Square, I was temped to ask about the 1989 demonstrations, but I thought that the topic might be off limits. There was a huge military presence everywhere too. When we got to Hong Kong, the tour guide almost instantly started discussing politics with our group. It was refreshing.
line cutters are everywhere
Our group almost started a riot in the Beijing airport. The groups in front of ours kept bringing more people to the front of the "line" (groups of people huddling around ticket agent counters). We were almost to the front when they walked up to the front again. One of the women in our group started yelling at him and eventually the agent's supervisor had to come up to the counter to tell the man to get in line. When my family got up to the front, a man tried to cut in front and I started waging my finger and telling both him and the agent (in English, because everyone knows the language of ANGRY) that we had been waiting here a long time and he should get in the back. Dude, I hate line cutters.
like Italy in China
There are little "watertowns" around Hangzhou (near Shanghai) which are like Venice. The town we went to had houses right on the canals and little boats pushing tourists down the narrow water ways. An old woman was washing her clothes on steps that led down to the canal water. Little children played in the narrow alleys. It was the most pictureque place in China. Beautiful.
Okay, gotta fold my laundry... more stories later.
Since I returned from my trek to the motherland, I can't go a day without uttering the words, "That reminds me of the time in China when..." I'm sure my co-workers, minsoo and my other friends must be tired of listening to me wax nostalgic about my travels to the orient. The consistent references may be attributed to not blogging adequately about my trip. I may continue to tell more stories, but hopefully I'll get it out of my system by sharing some with you...
i was born in the year of the horse, but this is ridiculous...
The other people on my tour were screaming, it was dark, the stench made me want to puke... the images haunt me everytime I enter a public bathroom in the states. The two that tied for worst places to relieve myself: Outside of a temple entrance in Hangzhou and at a gas station on our way to Hangzhou -- large troughs with short partitions and no doors. I am stronger person as a result of these experiences.
don't ask, don't tell
Our tour was run by the government. We did not know this when we signed up. Our tour guide was great, but at times, our experience felt very artificial. The hotels we stayed in were brand new (we could smell the fresh paint), the restaurants and shops we were taken to were all government run. The tour guide never spoke critically about the government and the country. It was surreal. At times I felt that if I turned around after we left one of our tour stops, there would be nothing there -- like an optical illusion. The accomodations were great and the stores were well run, but it was eerie. When we visited Tienanmen Square, I was temped to ask about the 1989 demonstrations, but I thought that the topic might be off limits. There was a huge military presence everywhere too. When we got to Hong Kong, the tour guide almost instantly started discussing politics with our group. It was refreshing.
line cutters are everywhere
Our group almost started a riot in the Beijing airport. The groups in front of ours kept bringing more people to the front of the "line" (groups of people huddling around ticket agent counters). We were almost to the front when they walked up to the front again. One of the women in our group started yelling at him and eventually the agent's supervisor had to come up to the counter to tell the man to get in line. When my family got up to the front, a man tried to cut in front and I started waging my finger and telling both him and the agent (in English, because everyone knows the language of ANGRY) that we had been waiting here a long time and he should get in the back. Dude, I hate line cutters.
like Italy in China
There are little "watertowns" around Hangzhou (near Shanghai) which are like Venice. The town we went to had houses right on the canals and little boats pushing tourists down the narrow water ways. An old woman was washing her clothes on steps that led down to the canal water. Little children played in the narrow alleys. It was the most pictureque place in China. Beautiful.
Okay, gotta fold my laundry... more stories later.
11/18/2002
monday, monday
This morning I arrived at the middle school I work at and noticed two police cars parked out front. My inital reaction was, "I hope it's not one of our kids, I hope it's not one of our kids." It was. Apparently one of our 7th graders beat up a kid and wrecked his bike afterschool on Friday. He's now being charged with battery and vandalism. It was one of those Mondays.
The day only got more discouraging. I learned from the other teaching fellow that a few students had been getting poor grades because they weren't doing their homework (we are supposed to be monitoring homework), one of the guys on my team was leaving the program because he needed private tutors and that some parents were worried about their students getting into the wrong crowd. This "wrong crowd" were the other kids in the program. Ick.
During program time, I experienced a love-hate relationship with the kid who was leaving the program. One minute, I wanted to cry because he was leaving and he makes me laugh. The next, I wanted to throttle him for making the weirdest sounds I've ever heard from another human being during crucial be-quiet moments. Ahh, I'm going to miss that little booger.
At the same time, I also wanted to throttle another staff member who is probably one of the most arrogant, disrespectful blah-blah-blahs I've ever met. He disrespects not only the staff but also the students on his team and after program we had a serious talk with our program director about communicating more effectively (read: not being a jerk and rude and condescending), being more flexible (read: not being such a jerk when team teaching and roll with the punches) and being "transparent" (read: not being such a jerk when directing the kids to do things contradictory to what we ask). He responded to all of this by saying, "I've taken it all in." This basically means, "I'll consider everything you have to say. But the choice is mine whether or not to change my actions depending on what I can rationalize as being appropriate to my standards." Ugh, I hate cursing, but dude, there are many negative words in my head right now. I'm glad he's going back to college in the winter.
Tuesday has to be better. Tuesday has to be better. Tuesday has to be better...
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners -- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life." -- 2 Thessalonians 1:15-16
Lord, give me that unlimited patience...
This morning I arrived at the middle school I work at and noticed two police cars parked out front. My inital reaction was, "I hope it's not one of our kids, I hope it's not one of our kids." It was. Apparently one of our 7th graders beat up a kid and wrecked his bike afterschool on Friday. He's now being charged with battery and vandalism. It was one of those Mondays.
The day only got more discouraging. I learned from the other teaching fellow that a few students had been getting poor grades because they weren't doing their homework (we are supposed to be monitoring homework), one of the guys on my team was leaving the program because he needed private tutors and that some parents were worried about their students getting into the wrong crowd. This "wrong crowd" were the other kids in the program. Ick.
During program time, I experienced a love-hate relationship with the kid who was leaving the program. One minute, I wanted to cry because he was leaving and he makes me laugh. The next, I wanted to throttle him for making the weirdest sounds I've ever heard from another human being during crucial be-quiet moments. Ahh, I'm going to miss that little booger.
At the same time, I also wanted to throttle another staff member who is probably one of the most arrogant, disrespectful blah-blah-blahs I've ever met. He disrespects not only the staff but also the students on his team and after program we had a serious talk with our program director about communicating more effectively (read: not being a jerk and rude and condescending), being more flexible (read: not being such a jerk when team teaching and roll with the punches) and being "transparent" (read: not being such a jerk when directing the kids to do things contradictory to what we ask). He responded to all of this by saying, "I've taken it all in." This basically means, "I'll consider everything you have to say. But the choice is mine whether or not to change my actions depending on what I can rationalize as being appropriate to my standards." Ugh, I hate cursing, but dude, there are many negative words in my head right now. I'm glad he's going back to college in the winter.
Tuesday has to be better. Tuesday has to be better. Tuesday has to be better...
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners -- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life." -- 2 Thessalonians 1:15-16
Lord, give me that unlimited patience...
11/11/2002
crowd control
After reading other weblogs, I felt guilty about neglecting my own so here I am. How about a story about China? Since returning to the homeland, I can't help but compare everything to my experiences in the motherland. On Sunday night I went to the Cheesecake factory for a friend's birthday and waited for over an hour to be seated. When we got "paged", we went inside, only to be shuttled into a "waiting area." A minute later we were herded to a huge table for 15. At one point during the herding, a friend in my group got all up in my personal space. She apologized for getting up close and personal. Normally I'd be acutely aware of this faux pas, but since China I've become desensitized to uninvited bodily contact. In fact, I kinda got used to it. I got used to pushing my way through the night markets, using my elbows to notify another shopper that they were all up in my bidness and dodging determined little old Chinese ladies who shoved without abandon.
My first experience with the pushing and shoving happened even before I stepped foot on foreign soil. The "line" (aka the mad crowd) entering the airplane to Beijing from LAX introduced me to the queue frenzy. Despite the fact that we all had assigned seats, the masses were bum rushing the gate entrance like crazed teenagers at an N'Sync concert. Madness. My mother would yell and act all upset about the "rudeness", but I took it in stride and started to enjoy it. I'm glad I haven't been in any crazy crowd situations since returning home. I might have to whip out the techniques I picked up a few weeks ago. Watch it, Americans, your personal space is mine. Muhahahah.
After reading other weblogs, I felt guilty about neglecting my own so here I am. How about a story about China? Since returning to the homeland, I can't help but compare everything to my experiences in the motherland. On Sunday night I went to the Cheesecake factory for a friend's birthday and waited for over an hour to be seated. When we got "paged", we went inside, only to be shuttled into a "waiting area." A minute later we were herded to a huge table for 15. At one point during the herding, a friend in my group got all up in my personal space. She apologized for getting up close and personal. Normally I'd be acutely aware of this faux pas, but since China I've become desensitized to uninvited bodily contact. In fact, I kinda got used to it. I got used to pushing my way through the night markets, using my elbows to notify another shopper that they were all up in my bidness and dodging determined little old Chinese ladies who shoved without abandon.
My first experience with the pushing and shoving happened even before I stepped foot on foreign soil. The "line" (aka the mad crowd) entering the airplane to Beijing from LAX introduced me to the queue frenzy. Despite the fact that we all had assigned seats, the masses were bum rushing the gate entrance like crazed teenagers at an N'Sync concert. Madness. My mother would yell and act all upset about the "rudeness", but I took it in stride and started to enjoy it. I'm glad I haven't been in any crazy crowd situations since returning home. I might have to whip out the techniques I picked up a few weeks ago. Watch it, Americans, your personal space is mine. Muhahahah.
11/05/2002
back from the motherland
I'm still recovering from my visit to the motherland. I had a good time, saw a lot of sights, bought a lot of cheap stuff, met some new relatives and in the process, caught a yucky cold. I'll share some highlights in a bit. Suffice it to say, it was a really amazing experience and I can't wait to go back.
I'm still recovering from my visit to the motherland. I had a good time, saw a lot of sights, bought a lot of cheap stuff, met some new relatives and in the process, caught a yucky cold. I'll share some highlights in a bit. Suffice it to say, it was a really amazing experience and I can't wait to go back.
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