i'm free, but not really
I've been freed from my antibiotics but am now bound to the graduate computer lab. I have two presentations due next week and three papers due the week after that. I'm still limping but hopefully my toe will get better soon. I will be done soon, however, these next two weeks look a little bit scary. In my head, I know I should be all stressed out, but I'm really not because I think I've become numb to all the stress. I'm hoping not to have anything else on my plate or else I might really crack under the pressure.

Also -- people, send me your RSVP cards!

changing pace
It's been just over a month since I heard about Lisa, my jr/high school friend who passed away of cancer. I just finished writing the sympathy card that I've been hanging on to for weeks. My whole apt fiasco and my toe threw me off and I really wanted to write a genuine card to her parents. In the meantime, I found a good photo to send to her parents, I had the chance to talk to some of my high school friends and do some more memorializing. One thing I learned from Lisa is that true friends are hard to find. I always knew that she was a good friend, but I was too caught up in everything else to really hang on to her friendship. She was kind of a social outcast because she was so honest and I think I sort of distanced myself from her because of the whole trying to be cool high school thing. I wish I had kept in touch with her. It makes me thankful of my long-time friendship with Summer, who's going to be my bridesmaid. You can't take those types of relationships for granted. You also can't replace friends who've known you when you looked your ugliest.

I am also somewhat reflective because my sister just left for her new job in Albuquerque. She stopped in LA on her way and during her time here, I realized how integral sisters are to one anothers' development (in both positive and negative ways). I am going to try and be a better, more prayerful, more patient and more understanding sister. This is a tall order, I know.

I just want to be a better person, in general. You know?

crazy (me and everything around me)
Things are crazy right now. Today I drove wrecklessly to campus on a bum toe talking on my cell phone trying to arrange my bridal hair appts and cleaning my apt before I move out while trying to remember what I read the night before so I was prepared for class. I ended up safely on campus, only to watch my lunch get cold while trying to limp to class and making hotel arrangements over the phone for the wedding. I CANNOT MULTITASK ANYMORE. I... AM... SO... TIRED.

So today when I got a letter from my school saying I got a fellowship, I thought I saw a ray of sunshine. However, when my mom read the letter closely it read: "The department of urban planning WILL RECOMMEND to the graduate division that you be awarded...."

What does "will recommend" mean? Does this mean I have to compete with more people? Do I get it or will I have to wait for funds to come through?

Why oh why do you have to tease me so?

Final project presentations are due next week. Gotta push through to the end.

more toe
Day 4 of antibiotics. I hate medicine. My foot still looks sort of gross. I've been at my parents house for almost 3 weeks straight, with a few trips to the doctors here and there. I'm glad the house has a lot of windows because I'd feel really cooped up. My co-worker and my classmate drove down here to hang out and study with me, which was really cool. I actually spent an exciting Saturday night doing my GIS project. Yeah, yeah, I need to get out more often. You tell my big swollen toe and my partial toenail that. Did you know that antibiotics, ahem, cleanses your system? Ughhhhhh.

On another note: 7 weeks until the wedding. YIKES. If I can just get through the next three weeks of final projects, It'll be all good. I should really just get all of the project done early...HHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH. who am I kidding?

probably too much information...
I went to the doctor yesterday because my toe looked gross and there was some oozing. Yeah, gross, huh? I was afraid that he'd tell me I'd need to take antibiotics and sure enough, he prescribed these 500mg pills to take 4 times a day for 10 days. Some people may find medication inconvenient, but I'm one of the few adults that cannot swallow pills. I wasn't very sick as a kid and so I never really practiced popping pills. Anyway, taking medication is not one of my strong points. It's embarrassing, but true. However, last night I swallowed the first pill in the first try! I know, I know, it's such a natural thing to most people, but considering these past few weeks, it's quite significant. Today I also swallowed two pills. Granted, I threw one up, but swallowing 2 is still swallowing 2.

4 pills * 10 days = 40 pills - 4 (2 taken, 1 thrown up, 1 spit out) = 36 more.

36 more to go.

sick toe
I spent the past few days recovering from my toenail surgery at my parents' house. I can't walk so I use one of our kitchen chairs with wheels to move around the house. I am glad they put in hard wood floors. My toe hasn't gotten better so I'm kind of worried, but I suppose it just takes a long time. It looks pretty disgusting and my toe will never be the same again, but hopefully I won't have the ghost of the pedicure spa haunting me again. It sucks to be moping around the house -- I haven't left the building since friday early evening and it looks like I'll be here for at least another day. I can barely take two steps, so driving is out of the question.

Ack. It's week 8 so only 3 more weeks to go before this quarter is over. I need some motivation.

it never ends
It's been 7 days since I noticed water gushing from my ceiling. Today, I went back to my apartment to check out the new carpet that the manager promised would be installed today. It was there, in all of it's new-carpet-smelly ugly brown patterned glory. I started to put things back in its place when I heard it -- the sound of dripping water on carpet.

Oh HELL NO. (as I wave my index finger in the air) There was water dripping from my smoke detector in my room... onto my new carpet.

I called the maintenance line (surprise! no one knew what was going on and they said it would be fixed tomorrow - oh no it would not, I told myself). I found an old message from the manager who gave me his cell phone number so I called him and he came right over.

So tonight, there is a large recycling container in my room catching the dripping brown water. I am at my parents' house.

Oh yeah and I'm having minor surgery on my toe. Remember the pedicure went wrong? It's coming back to haunt me. It never stops.

nice girls don't get their apartments fixed
There's this new book out called "N1ce g1rls don't get rich" and I've adapted that title to reflect my current situation.

My roommate is much more relaxed about things, but I suppose it's because his room wasn't affected and he hasn't faced this situation twice. I, on the other hand, have been calling all of the apartment management and letting them know that I am not pleased at the lack of progress in my apartment. Apparently word has gotten around about my displeasure because the maintenance guy called me twice to assure me of the progress in my apartment. In any other situation I might feel guilty for being so pushy, but in this case I am just glad that this time I am hopefully not going to have to pull out the lawyer card.

I think I've definitely learned more about asserting myself in these situations. Even if it's not a huge inconvenience (which it is!), I've found that unless I let them know that it is, they are only going to do what is in their best interest (which is doing the minimal on their own timeline) and try and placate me with temporary hotel accomodations and cooing "Honey, don't worry, it'll be okay." Um hello -- It's not okay to have to live in another place for over 5 days because of an accident and not be guaranteed pro-rated rent. It's not okay to not be informed everyday if anything is going to be done in our apartment if they weren't able to tell us the exact timeline of the process. It's not okay to honey-darling-sweetheart me ANYMORE. To quote Thomas (the little kid who wrote that note on my behalf), I don't play.

This time, I'm not playing nice girl.

update
I'd like to say I have an update on my apartment, but so far nothing has been done. AND I AM FREAKING PISSED ABOUT THIS. Typically, after 48 hours of messing up the carpet and having huge noisy machines drying the place, you replace the carpet pad and shampoos (if not replace) the carpet. But it's been over 48 hours, if I'm not mistaken and NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE.

I am freakin pissed. A few of my "highlights from this weekend":
- Wearing the same thing several times (I hope that Minsoo and Messy didn't notice. I'm glad Minsoo's parents were only here for one day). I had some clean underwear --thank goodness.
- Driving from redondo to culvercity with my gas light on. Gas is expensive, especially when you have to commute from where you're staying to where you live to check on the carpet and your messed up apartment where NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE.
- have people say, "you're kidding me!" or "you're right, you really are bad luck to live with" or "wow it's almost funny. but it's not."

So I guess I'm painting the picture that this weekend was all bad, which it wasn't. I'm thankful that my parents live nearby and that I got to spend time with (soon to be) both sides of the Family (Yu and Lee). I watched a lot of Ver0n1ca Mars, which I am now addicted to (though my "dealer" aka minsoo only lets me watch 2 episodes at a time), ate some korean bbq, tried on my HanBok for the weddin', got more invites back in the mail (send them in peoples!).

This weekend, aside from the nasty ass brown water coming through my ceiling, was pretty decent.

so envious...
of many people. For instance, I am envious of people who....
... have a place to live where water does not come out of the ceiling
... get lasik surgery.
... have money to get lasik surgery
... are finished with school
... have money. not a lot, just enough to not be in debt.
... have a place to live where water does not come out of the ceiling.

i woke up this morning...
To the sound of rushing water. Was it my roommate washing his dishes? My upstairs neighbors taking a shower?
NO IT WAS MY FREAKING CEILING RAINING DOWN ON ME. Um, yeah and the water is brown and warm.


I am not kidding. This cannot be happening --- AGAIN. [Yes,that is my roommate.] 

Mmm warm brown water 

bapt1sts
There are tons of things I can't stand about the Bapt1st church, but since I grew up in one, I defend some of its characteristics, such as full immersion baptisms and monthly communion. However, once again, the Baptists give me little reason to continue my association with them. First it was the racist vbs material, now there's a Bapt1st church pastor that asked people to vote out democrats from the church membership. UGH.

my sides still hurt from laughing
I had a hilarious blast-from-the-past tonight when I was studying with minsoo and messy. We were talking about the song "the Gl0ry of L0ve" (we still can't figure out how we we started this conversation) when I remembered that I went to a student council camp where the advisors played cheesy music like the Gl0ry of L0ve and we all shared our feelings and cried a lot. Minsoo and messy couldn't believe that we found this song inspiring. The songs were instrumental versions so I never knew that the lyrics (for example: "Tonight it's very clear, As we're both lying here, There's so many things I want to say, I will always love you, I would never leave you alone." Wow, makes me feel a little creepy about how "meaningful" I found the music to be when I was a teenager.

Anyway, I eventually remembered that the album was called Dav1d F0ster's Rech0rdings, and found it on on amaz0n. If you've never heard of DF, he's the guy in charge of such greats as Chicag0's "You're the Inspiati0n" and the all-time fav0rite war-time un1ty chorus, "Voices that care". Anyway, the Cd was an instrumental only version of these "greats," perfect for putting you in the mood to reflect and share. The camp counselors used to put on the instrumental cd when we sat in circles, psasing candles and talking about how much we were changed by the experience.

Tonight we reinacted my camp days and played the clips from amaz0n as we shared our deep thoughts on diarrhea and farting. It's amazing how inspiration bowel movements can seem when expressed over piano instrumentals of "Love, L00k what you've d0ne to me". I definitely became very emotional while listening to the clips and I have to admit, that tears came to my eyes. Oh wow, there are tears welling up right now.

can't think
I'm tired. Today I spent all day at work writing a paper. I felt like I was trapped in a paper-writing sweatshop (sidenote: sweatshops seem to be my thing right now). It's tiring to work at a job where I'm paid to think hard about innovative stuff and then I have to go home and think of more original stuff. I'm brain dead right now but I have a final project proposal due tomorrow and another due Wednesday. Here's a convo I just had with my school friend Mary:

W: I can't think of a project topic. Nothing original anyway. It's either going to be about economic development South Centra1 LA or ethnic economies in Asian and Latino immigrant communities.
M: What about those papers you read? Didn't they give you any ideas about possible planning GIS topics?
W: Eh, they talked about paying living wages, providing health insurance, advancing economic development policies. Eh.
M: Oh, the usual.
W: Yeah, just your run-of-the-mill urban planning issues.

It's sad that I've become unphased with what most would call "real" solutions to real problems. I guess when you're immersed in it, it just seems like the same old solutions.

I was sitting at work writing about a case study of the feas1bility of a mult1-public agency buying consortium & local industry stimulat0r for fuel cel1 technology in public transit (zzzz...i've lost you already) and as much as my organization is cool, I realized that I don't do very interesting work. I was at my cousin's wedding and when I told someone I was in urban planning school, the conversation screeched to a halt. It was sad. I was reading marian's blog about her vegas trip and reported on her club experiences and I felt very envious. Social change can get really really boring sometimes.

Think, think, think. Ugh. I need sleep.

more thoughts
Lisa's death really made me think about friendships and stuff. It's been hard this year to maintain any sort of social life and I really have not worked as hard to keep in touch with people. I'm hoping that there will be much grace with friends that I've been neglecting this year. One of my oldest and dearest friends called me today, which was weird because I was putting off calling her about Lisa. It was good to remember Lisa with someone else and I think we're both going to try and send her parents a card with some of our favorite memories of our friend. Anyway, as I was printing out wedding envelopes with minsoo in my apartment tonight, I was sort of bummed that my weekends and all of my spare time consists of wedding stuff instead of catching up with the long list of friends that have all hinted at getting together. It's definitely something I've done to myself, but it gets sort of isolating. That being said, it's less than three months until the "big" day and of course, I have a long way to go from being done with it all.

seriously sobering
My best friend from high school, whom i haven't talked to since her wedding last year left a "please call me back, it's urgent" message on my cell phone today. When I called her, she told me that our friend from high school, whom I've known since my truly dorky junior high school days, had passed away. The last time I saw her was at my best friend from high school's wedding. She had been battling cancer but was on her way to recovery. Anyway, it was shocking to hear about her. She was one of those friends whom I really treasured and wanted to get back in touch with, but never managed to. I remember that I wanted to get in touch with her so that I could invite her to my wedding, but i never did. It made me really sad. When I saw her at the wedding last year, the reunion felt bittersweet for me because I realized that years had gone by and she had been through so much.

Anyway, I have a memo due tomorrow but I just can't concentrate. I keep wanting to memorialize her in my head. I keep reflecting on our junior high dramas, our student council times, our group prom picture from junior year, our winter formal in senior year. Thanks for being true, Lisa Rothenberg. I will miss you.

stupid test
Per perfessor's recommendation, I took the "personality disorder test". I'm not going to post the results here, because I was rated "high" for many of the disorders. Wow. Am I that screwed up? Or maybe I just think I'm that screwed up and answered the questions in a certain way, which probably means I have at least one of those disorders. The funny thing is that I rated "low" for the "Antisocial" disorder, even though I thought I had a high tendency toward antisocial behavior.

I know it's just a test, but dude, the results were kind of disturbing.

I've got a memo due Friday that I have not started. Focus, focus.

siiiiigggghhhhh
I just got back from Hawaii. *SIGH* I loved the clear water, warm weather and the overall laid back vibe as well as some great food. Can I tell you how good the sashimi and green tea ice cream was? No, I cannot.

My cousin got married and had a HUGE banquet with over 400 people at the r0yal hawai1an hotel. It was cool to see family and hang out. I was very envious of my cousin as she is now married and no longer has to think about wedding stuff.

Another great thing about the weekend: My sister and I got some fat massages at the hotel spa. My AmEx bill is not going to be pretty next month, however the massage was heaven. I think I need to make money just so I can get regular massages.

In addition to eating, we also did some driving around the island, went to a couple of beaches, and did some walking around waik1ki. That place is such a tourist trap -- I began to resent being greeted in Japanese everytime I entered a store. I guess I looked more like those type of tourists than the big white women from the midwest (there were many). There were also a lot of honeymooners from all countries and Japanese couples getting their "American wedding" on. By this, I mean, the women had huge organza gowns and the men wore grey tuxes with tails. I saw at least 5 couples dressed almost identical in my hotel on Saturday. It was sort of intense. Apparently it's trendy to have the traditional ceremony in Japan and then head over to the states for a western wedding.

Anyway, I'm sad that I'm back. My little mini break was a chance for me to sort of forget about all of my responsibilities and just hang out. Now it's back to writing papers, doing work and wedding planning. I'm not ready! Take me back to the island. I need another round of sashimi and green tea ice cream.

Hawaii
I am in Honolulu for my cousin's wedding. I'm leaving tomorrow, but I just thought I'd write in and make all of you jealous. It's 10:45pm and I'm wearing shorts. It's warm and kinda breezy. I got a nice tan today. I ate at many buffets. I had the BEST GREEN TEA ICE CREAM IN THE WORLD. I also had some amazing sashimi. Two reasons to move here. I didn't do any homework. Slacking off is great.

Gotta go before my battery runs out...

going home tomorrow :(

it's a vicious cycle
I'm talking about the acne situation. I should probably shut up about it so that people don't stare at it the next time they see me, but I can't get over how icky this is. When all my friends were all acne'd out in junior high, I was zit-free. Now I'm like Ms. Zit. Grody.

So I buy products with chemicals to get rid of it. No such luck. Liars! Then I try the cover-up method of make-up, in part, because I want to practice my technique for the "big day". Unfortunately, everytime I cover up, my skin goes on strike and the red bumps aka my skin's picket signs go up. Ugh! What is this madness? It must be stress.

You know what I hate? When people say, "Don't be stressed! You stress too much about things like this." Um, yeah, like that helps. Stop saying that to stressed out people -- take it from one, it doesn't help, it just pisses them off. Okay, it just pisses me off. I prefer advice like this, sent to me in an e-mail by my future sis-in-law:

"Hope wedding planning is going well. Hope you are doing well. Don't get too stressed. Remember: eloping is always an option. As is heavy drinking."

You are right, my friend, those ARE options.

** sidenote: I just re-read my last post and realized that this post exemplifies the "bad" Christianness that I referred to. Ouch.

confessions from a self-titled "bad" Christian
Confession #1: I like hymns *gasp* better than "praise" songs (btw saying that we had "Praise" does not always means there was singing... pet peeve, but I digress). Am I old school? I'd like to think so.

One of my favorites is "It is well with my soul". I know that my parents & grandparents really like the song and we sang it all the time in my home church. Now there are tons of remakes, which I definitely enjoy as well. I really like the message of the song. It reminds me that my soul is often not peaceful and that it is the knowledge of God's faithfulness that should give me peace... "Whate're my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul"

Anyway, I need some peace in my soul, as usual. Wearing these different hats gets tiring.

Confession #2: Today's speaker asked us to think about whether we view God a road or an end. Do we seek God's hands instead of seeking his face? Sometimes I view God as the carpool lane on the 4o5 during rush hour traffic when I'm driving alone in a hybr1d (hypothetically, of course). Sometimes, I view God as that extra pair of hands when I'm moving yet another time into another apartment with roommates I will inevitably come to dislike. You don't?? Dang it.

Confession #3: I am sometimes reluctant to talk about God stuff on my blog because sometimes I don't like reading people's blogs about God stuff because it always makes me feel like a bad Christian. Ha! Am I bad Christian? The I-forgot-it-was-good-Friday snafu last month probably earns me this title.

hope on a rope
It's been awhile since I wrote anything explicitly faith-related on this blogger *sigh*. Today's speaker at church talked about Jesus's talk on friendship and about our relationship to God and his "friendship" to us. It was really refreshing to hear a women speaker talk honestly about her struggles. I was touched by how honest and strong she was in speaking about her very recent medical issues and her relationship with God. Friendship is definitely a complicated topic for me in many ways, but I really appreciated the comparison of God's relationship to us as hope on a rope. She held onto one end of the rope and said that God's forgiveness is his grip on the rope that brings us back (or something like this). She also said that he ties a knot of mercy around our ankles so that even if we lose our way and go astray, we can always tug on it and know he's still there. Now, when I sing that song about being a friend of God (which I always thought was a little weird and sorta cheesy), I'm going to think more about what that really means.

the sun distracted me
I had two classes today. After my first class, I had a leisurely lunch outside with my Asian girl posse and then went to meet up with another girl to talk about a Saturday event I'm helping out (I know, i need to stop committing myself to stuff!). I had about 5 minutes to get to my 2pm class so I ran (just like high school!) to the 4th floor to find my class. I wasn't familiar with that floor of the public policy bldg so I wandered around a bit. I finally found the room, but when I looked in the window, I saw a class still going on inside. I stood out there for a minute, then I pulled out my folder to look at my schedule.

Crap. I thought my class class was at 2pm. When I checked my schedule it said the class actually started at 1pm. Oops. Awkward. Normally walking into classes late is not a big deal. But today was the first day (when the prof goes over important details about the course) and this class was not a class in my graduate department so the professor might not be very sympathetic. On top of this, the class was a really really small seminar that runs for 3 hours. I managed to slink into class as a girl was walking out, however everyone stared at me, including the professor, who was in full on lecture mode. I sat down next to a girl who whispered to me "THIS is a public policy class" with a tone of "You're probably in the wrong class missy". I whispered back "I know" and promptly found another seat closer to the back of the class, tripping over other people on my way back. Oops, my bad. After lecture, I went up to the professor and apologized. He seemed cool about it, though. I also told him I was an urban planning grad student which he seemed to like. Apparently there seems to be some kind of 1-2 student urban planning quota he likes to fill in each class. I was thinking about dropping this class, but it looks like I will stay in it since he now knows my face. Yay for me and urban planning.

urban planning nerdiness
I'm celebrating my last free evening before spring quarter begins. Minsoo is already heading toward finals and I'm just gearing up to kick ass on yet another quarter.

I spent a few days last week doing wedding stuff up north and managed to squeeze in a little "nerd time" with my urban planning buddies. We took a tour of Chinatown and met briefly with the tenderl0in neighborhood development center to get some info. The Chinatown tour was awesome -- instead of being filled with the usual stuff about where to get the best back scratcher and char siu baos, we got to see SRO low-income senior apartments, ghetto housing projects, the "new and improved" alleyways, hear about tenant rights protests and learn the story about those cool crosswalks and the four-way stops for pedestrians. It was Chinatown, planning style. We were giddy nerds walking through the streets of San Francisco after the tour. We also went down to the 'loin, where we walked by some guys who mumbled "You Chinese, Japanese, Korean (insert unintelligible slur here)". It's weird how segregated the city is, especially since it's so small. Anyway, I am once again blessed to be in an academic program with people who actually care about improving communities and enjoy the same nerdiness as me. I also appreciate the pseudo-family we have amongst the Asians. Nerds Unite!

It's really hard to plan a wedding and be the all-involved student. I am finding myself pretty frustrated with wanting to take advantage of the grad school opportunities while trying to take care of myself and plan the wedding. Ugh. There are definitely good days and bad days. It's sort of bad when the things that seemed like "work" is the wedding-related stuff and the "fun" is the school stuff.

daily transit report
It makes sense that I should update my comings and goings as the blog is titled "Wai-Ling in transit"....

Today:
Went to campus and turned in my final project --- yay, I'm done with winter quarter! I also picked up my yummy loan check. The guy at the counter gave me a funny look when he examined my drivers license. It felt great. Lately no one has questioned the disparity between my DL and my current "Look" which means that yes, indeed, I have morphed into my 16-year-old self.

Went to minsoo's place and watched 3 hours of Al1as. Vaughn's dad and evil orphanage woman and nadia -- whoa. Also, the guy who played Frank, his dad's friend, is an instructor in our department and someone I say hi to on a regular basis. Ha!

Was supposed to meet up with old crazy roommate(see 00-01)/high school friend and another high school friend who is in town for a physics conference (yes, PHYSICS) for a chill evening. However physics friend was staying downtown and wanted to go to theStandard... the upscale bar that is apparently so cool their sign is upside down. Ooooh. So I went home to pretty myself up, met up with old crazy roommate for dinner before heading to downtown. We waiting in line for like 15-20 minutes out in the cold until I decided that we couldn't "waste the pretty" (my new favorite line from my new favorite book) waiting in line behind some lame-ass republicans complaining about how homeless people should help themselves (I am freakin' not kidding, is it 2005?). So we headed back to the hotel bar (a hotel that was being picketed by labor a few months ago - ack!) and had a drink. I spent the next couple of hours nursing a huge glass of merlot and debating the validity of organized religion and had to somewhat defend it, even though it has been lame recently (i.e. the crappy republicans co-opting the religious right -- YES I SAID IT FOR MY REP. FRIENDS. It's true, you know it. Hannah, back me up here). It was very exhausting and at the same time very exhilarating to have a real conversation with real friends about real stuff.

Anyway, now I'm back. It's late. Sorry this is practically intelligible and very biased. Actually, I'm not sorry. If you are offended -- SUCK IT! It's my blog. Don't read it. There, I said it. Oooh that feels good.

only 25%???

You Are 25% Normal (Occasionally Normal)

You sure do march to your own beat... But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all You think on a totally different wavelength And it's often a chore to get people to understand you

How Normal Are You?

I am done with my GIS project!!

YES.

ain't nobody dope as me, i'm just so fresh so clean
know you think i'm so sexy, i'm just so fresh so clean

ain't nobody dope as me, i'm just so fresh so clean
i love when you stare at me i'm just so fresh so clean

i just did the running man.

the end of the quarter is near
and i'm doing the usual studying. Phew, I'm tired. I have (yet another) new roommate. So far, he's a great roommate. He's clean, studies hard and I've even caught him washing my dishes. Awesome. He's in the running for my best roommate ever. No joke. I know, I know, it's been less than a month, but I can usually tell if a roommate is going to work out within the first few weeks. So far, so good. I will report later on.

I can't wait for spring break. I'll be up in the bay area, doing the wedding thing and hopefully meeting up with my classmates for some Asian Am non-profit stuff. Ugh & Yeah! (Ugh for the wedding stuff, Yeah! for the Asian Am stuff)

he's just n0t that int0 y0u
This is the phrase that I've always wanted to say to my friends (and wished my friends said to me) when asked for advice about a guy. Apparently there's a book out based on that s.a.t.c. episode where carrie's bf blurts this nugget o wisdom out while the girls are trying to figure out why one of their dates never called back. This book looks awesome. I know, I know, I'm not single, but it looks like one of those tell-it-like-it-is books that you wish you had when you're hanging out with the girls. I haven't read it, but the bits and piece I've read through the reviews looks like it has some pretty good advice.

Take the first page, for example:
Ch 1: He's just not into you if he's not asking you out (wai-ling: "preach it brother!")
sub-heading: Because if he likes you, he will ask you out

Excerpt: "I hate to tell you, but that whole 'I don't want to ruin the friendship' excuse is a racket...And please don't tell me he's just 'scared'. The only thing he's scared of --and I say this with a lot of love -- is how not attracted to you he is."

Oh dude, such truth. I may just pick it up so I can have sermon up in here!

bleeding dude at starbucks.
Tonight, I spent an exciting evening at a random starbucks in LA with the Chious. Toward the end of the night, a guy walks up to Eric and asks to borrow his phone. I was busy working on my computer at another table so I wasn't really paying attention. I looked up as Eric was dialing the numbers and I thought, hm, that's funny, he should just let the guy dial himself. Then I looked at the guy and did a double take --- the guy was bleeding pretty profusely. It looked like he had some kind of neck injury. Shirley handed him some napkins to wipe up the blood as the dude talked on the phone. Everyone sitting at the tables near us is staring at the guy. Bleeding dude spent a few minutes on Eric's phone, drops of blood falling on the ground near our tables, then leaves. Creepy. I kept trying not stare at him, but I couldn't help but look at this guy bleeding a few feet away from us. All the possible scenarios raced through my head. Was he in a fight? Was it a gang fight? Was he being attacked or the attacker? Was he by himself when he was attacked? Is someone still after him? Is his injury gun-inflicted?

Anyway, the weird scene of the dude bleeding at starbucks creeped me out. I drove away and got kinda distracted. I ended up taking the long way home and decided to drive through Beverly Hills and the nicer part of town, trying to shake off the weirdness of seeing the bleeding dude. I definitely could never be a doctor (although even Eric was weirded out by the situation). I am weak sauce.

yummy
i had my two favorite ice cream flavors today -- pumpkin and green tea! not at the same time. they were serving up pumpkin at the campus coffeehouse and i had some green tea gelato at home after my long day. my stomach isn't feeling too hot, but it's a risk worth taking.

[commercial break: oohhh today is international women's day. celebrate being a woman or any women in your life! keep working for justice, equality and peace my sisters! for all you loser men out there, go out and get a good one. stop sitting on your ass. you know who you are.]

fresh and meaty
...describes my weekend. It's also the name of a burger joint in south central that I went to today with my co-workers. The name makes me giggle.

I ate a lot of meat this weekend. From my two trips to all-you-can-eat korean bbq to the fat burger i ate today, i'm feeling a little bit anti-meat. It's weird when you burb and you still kinda taste the meal you ate a few nights ago. Nas-tay.

They finally paved the road outside my apt. It was gravely and filled with potholes for weeks because they tried to pave it a month ago and only got as far as tearing up the street before the floods came. There's a smooth layer of fresh pavement. Mmmm, fresh tar.

My acne is letting up. Maybe it's because yesterday was my half birthday. Yes, I'm now 26 and a half.

*two seconds after i posted this, i looked in the mirror and saw a large red mark on my forehead. gggrrrr!!*

too much coffee...
... but some really good times. Unha/Couscous/Kristina is in town so we went for some yummy korean bbq. Yes, if you just read my last post, you'll see that I went out for all-you-can-eat-makes-your-clothes-stinky korean bbq with Dave earlier this week. I think I will stop eating meat for a little while. Anyway, afterward, we went back to the Chious for some coffee. Now it's almost 2am and I'm totally awake. Good times with good friends. Note to self: no coffee after dinner.

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH. It's about 4.5 months until the wedding. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I'm freaking out. There's so much to do. It's driving me crazy. I'll fill you in on a little secret. I've created a new blog to cover my wedding stuff, since it must be soooo boring to read about it all the time. badasskungfubride.blogspot.com. Beware, it's dedicated to my wedding rants, enter at your own risk. You've been warned.

it's 12:05 and i'm tired. but here's an update:
- midterms and project suck! one more to go tomorrow.
- still have 16-year-old acne. ew.
- faf... sucks! the financial aid form was due today! so i did it in the morning at work and kinda guessed on the numbers. you don't really have to do it exact because you can always adjust it. after doing the form, though, i realized that my taxes are going to be a beast and a half. grrr.
- speaking of boring math... davidhan, human calculator and third member of my posse is here --- YAY! the old crew is back -- me, minsoo and dave -- and also messy! yay for us!
- went out with school friends on tuesday night for my friend mary's b-day. it ended up being an all asian posse, but it was cool. they got to meet my angryasianfiance. i think one of them was pretty "star" struck. haha!
- my new roommate has moved in. he's cool. hopefully not psychotic. he's very clean and not gross like my other boy roommates. I broke my vow never to room with males until I'm married. This guy was the only candidate that I knew and since I could probably kick his ass in a brawl, I thought, eh, let's try it again.
- went to look at suits/tuxes at a shop this weekend. sales girl was so unhelpful. decided not to go with the matching cumberbund/vest/tie/hankerchief in fuchia/red/stripes/sparkles/you get the picture. KISS - keep it simple stupid.
- was able to introduce my classmate to BubbRub -- whistles go woo woo!! it's only in the morning.
- ligers story still makes me laugh. i just think about it and it makes me laugh.
- i'm sooooo full. spent time with three of my favorite korean items: bbq, beer and minsoo. ew, that was cheesy. sorry. ooooohhh and i had green tea ice cream. is this heaven?
- blllllllarrrrrrrggggggggg. that was the sound my stomach is going to make tomorrow morning when it realizes what i've done.

Ligers in Simi Valley???
... Or at least that was one of the possibilities, according to a guy from the park service. I heard the story on npr (go to their website and search for simi valley) and busted out laughing in the car on my way to school. Hi-laarrrrious. Apparently ligers are real. Who knew?

I just spent 12 disgusting hours in the computer lab at school. I had a GIS project due so I missed my classed and hid in the lab with my classmates, frantically trying to get it done. I thought I was almost done last night, however I showed the TA my project and he said I needed to add another map. I would have broken down had it not been for the fact that I was surrounded by my Asian gang, I mean, posse. They were working feverishly so I didn't feel alone. One of the girls was still working on her project while people were presenting their projects. It was crazy. Anyway, I'm done with my two main midterms. I have one more project due next week... and then finals. Wow, this quarter has flown by.

Also, maybe it's stress, but I am battling a never-ending case of 16-year-old acne. People think look young now, not because I'm short or dress like a kid, but because of the revival of adolescent hormones. It's gross >:( I just want normal 26-year-old skin!!

i don't want to be a hater, but...
There's this guy in my class who kinda creeps me out. I've noticed that he is very good friends with the Asian females in our class. He is white. I don't think I've seen him with anyone else except for the Asian women. He sat next to me in class tonight for the second time in a row. There's always another Asian woman sitting on the other side of him, so I just assume that he's sitting here because he's friends with the other girl. He's very friendly toward me and I feel weird for feeling weird about him, but it's weird, right? I think I'm like the only Asian girl who hasn't befriended him. I think I'm avoiding building a relationship with him based on principle, because the guy is really nice. Wow, I'm a horrible, horrible person.

...I am a hater.

rooster, you suck
It is the year of the rooster, an apparently "bad" year to get married.

Because of this, I am refusing to celebrate Chinese new year. I think I already failed to do the many traditions attached to the new year so I guess if the bad luck comes, it comes.

It sort of annoys me, though. Like I don't have enough to worry about without people telling me that this is a bad year to get married. I don't mean to make this a big deal, but I'm in no mood to hear this. I've already expressed my desire to elope several times this month.

Wedding planning is sometimes fun. But most of the time, I think it's sort of like being in expectation hell.

reconnecting with the outside world
I think I've been writing some pretty self-absorbed posts lately. My whining gets old, so I guess I should move on to more interesting topics.

I've been interning at a community organizing group in South (Central) LA. I know, I know, I'm working in the "ghetto". It's actually kinda safe because there is nothing going on there. No real retail, no real jobs, nothing. Anyway, I attended a community leaders meeting a few weeks ago and got to meet the people who live in the area and other economically challenged areas in LA. I'm normally stuck in the office doing research so it was great to meet the people who go out and make the change happen. I had a great time. One of the members was this old man named Juan, whom I paired up with during our ice breaker activity. He didn't speak much English and I understood very little Spanish. It didn't matter, because he still talked my ear off about how long he'd been involved with the organization and other details that were completely lost on me. At the end of our introductions, he grabs both of my hands and starts shaking them and smiling at me. This small gesture made me feel really welcome. It was weird because I felt like I stood out so much among this group of leaders. My ethnicity, my age (it was mostly older people), being a new intern and even my class status made me feel different. Despite my obvious differences, everyone was so friendly and welcoming. One older Spanish-speaking woman asked what I was and when I told her I was Chinese, she hugged me and began rattling off some story relating to this fact. It was great to be at this meeting, even though at the time I was totally sick. I was reminded of why I am interesting in doing the work I do... the people. One of the downsides about being in school again is that I feel sort of out of touch with the outside world. This meeting helped me reconnect.

my computer is back. i hope it doesn't break again.
i'm getting better, which is good.
i have a lot of work.
my internship is going well.
that is all.

sooooo.....
sick. I caught a gross cold from a wedding-planning-related stress-out session, a classmate who kept coughing my way and the coldest computer lab known to man (aka my school's lab). Ugh.

computer update. The old one is back but i'm too sick to go down to RB to get it. ugh.

rant about stupid computer and BB
I am writing on a "borrowed" laptop from BestBuy. My little S0ny is once again in the shop. This is frustrating not only because one of my classes is 100% computer-based and I haven't had my computer for more than like 5 days this month, but also because I've been getting the run around from the beginning... Not only did the store not fix the computer the first time I sent it in (the weekend before Finals), but the second time they had it, they took it for 3 weeks and failed to notify me that it was completed by the second week. I waited an extra week for my computer until I finally called the 1-800 number. A few days after I got it back, the computer wouldn't start. I brought it back and they started it and said I had viruses. I went home, reinstalled the anti-virus and it didn't do a whole lot. This is when I noticed that 1. My keyboard was warped and curved up by the delete key, 2. my touchpad clicked the mouse everytime i pressed the space bar or typed any keys near the bottom, and 3. my power adapter was dying. I was up in LA so I went to another BB to get a power adapted and was told that I had to call the 1-800 number. Okay. I called the number this morning and they told me that I needed to go into the store. Hm. So I went to another BB and they said they had to put in a work order and THEN I could call the number. Unfortunately they couldn't put in an order because my old order (you know, when my computer was in the shop for 3 weeks) was still "active". Instead, I would have to go down to the store by my parents' house and get them to close it because they don't do it over the phone. So I drive down to my parents' house, pick up my mom so she can give me some moral support, then go to BB 30 minutes before it closes to demand they give me a new computer. Of course they don't, because they won't replace until the 4th time you bring it into be serviced. The guy says that I can "buy" an open box laptop and then return it for a full refund when the computer is fixed. Uh, okay. So this is what I did. Yes, if you had the patience to read all of this crap, you must be as frustrated as I am right now. GRRRRRRRRRR!!! I'm just glad that I did some of my classwork this weekend instead of waiting until the week. I guess I know by now that worse case scenarios can happen.

Anyway, at least I have a computer. Minsoo says to look on the bright side: At least I'm one more service order closer to getting a replacement.

some good stuff and some things to think about
Today was my 11-hours-at-school day. I came home AFTER scrubs was already finish (boo!) and watched some bad tv with my roommate. However, I happened to catch the Da1ly show and guess who was on... Jim Wallis, editor of Sojourners -- my FAVORITE magazine. I couldn't believe my eyes. Wallis has a new book out and I guess he was doing his plug on the DS, which is awesome since I love the DS and Jon Stewart (another so-dorky-but-so-smart-and-therefore-so-cute tv personality). They totally had some good chemistry, too. I wanted to cheer everytime Wallis answered a question. Sometimes I feel like he says almost exactly what I'm thinking about in terms of faith and politics. Anyway, after a long day, it was nice to end it with the J0n Stewart and Jim Wallis, two of my favorite smart men.

Lately, the whole tsunami aid thing has been bothering me. There just wasn't something right about the whole aid situation. I mean, yes, it's a tragedy and there are countless lives lost. It's a horrible disaster and I'm glad people are helping out financially and the stars are showing up to sing a few songs on a telethon. Still, I couldn't articulate my discomfort. However, here's an article about the disparity between the US aid provided to tsunami victims in Asia and the lack of aid provided to African countries (like Sudan) who have or are currently experiencing genocide. This is what I've been trying to say... We need to help out those in need, but how come we don't do it all the time? Why are some disasters more worthy of attention than others? Do we need catastrophic natural disasters to bring us to the point of caring about human suffering? Why do we not stand united when entire races of people are being murdered by other people? I am not saying the tsunami is not worthy of the aid it's been given, but what about the other atrocities happening around the globe? Are those dying children less worthy?

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-george16jan16,1,1100605.story?coll=la-news-comment-opinions&ctrack=1&cset=true

yay for the sun
The weather was beautiful this weekend! Unfortunately, I spent the weekend trying to figure out a huge computer assignment I had due tomorrow. I know, it's week two and already I have tons of work. Anyway, I spent 10 hours stuck inside doing the dumb computer assignment (no, my computer isn't fixed yet, I'm borrowing my parents') today instead of enjoying the weather outside. My only consolation was the warm breeze wafting into my apartment from our sliding glass door. I don't think I've opened that door since September. Anyway, it's January and it's warm enough to wear flip flops. Once again, gotta love So Cal.

boo computer!
I'm going on my second week minus my laptop and it's killing me. One of my classes is a computer-based class and so I'm basically screwed as I haven't completed the 7 chapters of work I have due Tuesday. On top of this, I just broke my backup CD that I created the first time my computer died. This is totally my fault, though. Minsoo complains constantly about the way I treat CDs. This is notable because 1. I am usually pretty good about taking care of my things, almost anal, and 2. Minsoo NEVER ever complains about my habits. I know that I'm careless, but I've never broken a CD... until just now when I broke the most valuable CD I have. Ugh. Let's just hope that my computer gets fixed without wiping out the hard drive.

Anyway, boo for computer woes! Gah!

long day
On Tuesdays I have 8.5 hours of class and am on campus for almost 11 hours. It's ridiculous. On top of the crazy long day, my last class doesn't end until 9pm -- when Scrubs is on tv! It takes me about 20 minutes to get home and I don't have a VCR! What to do... what to do...

I have to take a really useless professional development seminar as part of my internship. I think it might be helpful for those recent grads trying to negotiate the "working world", but for those of us with more experience, it's kinda insulting. Anyway, at the beginning of class one of my classmates asked me where I was interning. When I told him, he says to me: "Bastard! I KNEW you would get [insert name of organization]. Oh man! I mean, congratulations... that's cool." Another classmate was listening and was like, "Oh, YOU got it?" I laughed and was sort of affirmed but felt sort of weird about it. I feel good that I got one of the "coveted" internships, but it's sorta weird to get such strong responses. I also feel like I need to do really well in the internship so that I can live up to the hype. It was weird to be called a bastard, but in a good way.

Vegetable of evil
Minsoo, messy, the Chious and I went to eat dinner at a Thai place that boasts a "Thai Elvis". I'm not kidding. Anyway, I was looking forward to some good food and weird karaoke-like singing because it would make for a interesting blog entry. However, this experienced was usurped by what I will now refer to as the "vegetable of evil." Two bites into my meal, I bit into the MOST FEROCIOUS PEPPER I have ever tasted in my life. I was drinking some yummy sour and spicy soup when I mistook the "vegetable of evil" as a harmless green bean. The soup was a little bit spicy and oddly sour so I ate the "vegetable of evil" assuming it would dull the flavor a bit. Oh my goodness. I couldn't figure out why the soup became so spicy as I crunched into the bean. I almost swallowed the bean, but then realized something was terribly wrong. When I finally spit it out, I saw the little seeds and put two and two together. I am probably the most weak sauce when it comes to spicy food so it was really painful.

I hope that I either swallowed the rest of the spicy remnants or spit it out. My throat feels sort of sore and my tongue does not feel so hot either. Why do hot chili peppers look like green beans? Why? Why? Anyway, singing Thai Elvis became sort of background noise to the taste of burning in my mouth. So sad.

tooth
I went back to the dentist to get a filling and ended up getting a crown instead! Ugh. Not only is a crown totally expensive, but it's a major procedure. My teeth feel funny right now. This is not a good thing.

grrrr
I am writing from my parents' computer. My other computer died -- AGAIN!! I am so mad. Once again, it's perfect timing. Classes start tomorrow.

oooh two posts for the price of one
so po'
Once again, I cannot afford the 'or. It's so sad and shameful. I spent a long time on the phone with my bank as they explained why I'm so poor. It was depressing. At one point, the guy on the phone tries to strike up a conversation with me. I was so depressed that I couldn't even engage in a normal convo. And as I think about it now, I sorta think he might have been trying to do some Asian-bonding or something. Here's sort of how it went:
bank guy: so let's go through your recent transactions.
me: uhhh, okay...
bank guy: [going over the transactions one by one] so hold on a minute, let me pull up the rest of your records
me: yeah, um, okay...
bank guy: so can I ask you, what ethnicity is your last name?
me: uh... Chinese
bank guy: do you speak mandarin? Cantonese?
me: uh... no, not really. wish I spoke Cantonese better... uh... [still sort of shell shocked from my lack of funds.]
bank guy: Oh, because my mom speaks...[blah blah blah some Asian languages blah blah blah] and I go with her instead of my dad [blah blah blah Asian food blah blah blah]
me: [silence.]
bank guy: so let me pull up your records.

So I guess I wasn't very nice, but I was so preoccupied and nervous about my brokeness. Looking back at it, this also creeped me out because the guy went over all of my bank info and then wanted to connect with me. Hey buddy, you just saw how broke I am, please, let me have a few moments of silence to commemorate my lost funds. We've already connected, bank guy. Anyway, I'm ringing in the new year broke. Yay for me. Can we register for dolla billz?

new years eve
is one of the most overrated holidays. It sucks because everyone asks each other about NYE plans, but no one ever seems to have any really concrete plans. So then, there is an assumption that everyone must have holiday plans, which I never seems to have. My holiday has consisted of driving from SJ to LA with the 'rents. I also just spent a couple of excruciating hours at my cousin's house, trying to ignore the tension that permeated the house. Icky family conflict put me in a horrible mood. So now I'm sitting here, in my kitchen, waiting for my apple cider to chill (we gave the last bottle of wine to my cousin so now I'm left here at home without drink), watching tv. Another year gone.

Merry Christmas!
I don't think I spent enough time this season reflecting on the goodness of Christ's birth. Hm. Anyway, right now I'm trying to block out my mom's voice by playing minsoo's Christmas mix from 2002 or 01. The Lakers are playing the Heat, Shaq got kicked out of the game and they're in overtime. I think Miami won because my mom is going mm-mm, in that non-approving mom-way.

I'm going up to Northern Cal next week to do a whole mess of wedding stuff: picking up my dress (!!), registering, having my BMs try on their dresses, checking out some Cheongsams in Chinatown, seeing photographers... phew! I'm tired just thinking about it.

Have a great day celebrating!

grades are in
hee hee hee hee hee.... I'm having a nerdy "little 9-year-old girl with big glasses who likes summers because she can join the library book club" moment. Not that I've ever *ahem* had this moment or anything.

why I love "1nside the Actor's Studio" on Brav0 and ZackBraff(not together, separate, but still loved):
The Simps0ns are on. Not the animated characters, but the actors that do the voices on the show -- in their character's voices. Hi-larious. Hank Azar1a is doing the voice of Apu now.

ZB's Christmas post on his GS blog is Hi-larious. His final greeting: "Just say no, stay in school, and nobody puts baby in the corner, Peace and Love, ZB" His new year's resolutions include "laughing at babies who are late walkers." Oh the sarcasm makes me swoon. I have a new crush that I can add to my "nerdy movie stars that are funny and smart" list. Move over J1mmyFallon.

*sigh*
Yes, the quarter is over. I worked hard, met some cool people and learned some cool stuff. I also found my long-forgotten high school nerd persona. Yes people, the overachieving study nerd is BACK in full effect. I've rediscovered the art of studying, an activity I used to reserve only for reading week when I was at NU.

Anyway, a few celebrations are in order:
1. My computer is back and doing alright. Yay! (too bad it died the week before finals)
2. I'm going to pick up my wedding dress in 8 short days - Yes!
3. I got an internship for the winter at an awesome progressive non-profit. Oh sooo cool, you have no idea. Probably the coolest organization I've worked for.
4. The quarter is over.
5. It's freakin' WARM - like 80 degrees. And it's December 20th.
6. I slept for like 11 hours last night. Sleep rocks.

I am in a good mood.... today. *finally*

one of those weeks
Final number 2 is over... I just spent over 9 hours finished up a group project due tomorrow... I have a paper and another final AND an internship fair on Friday. I can't believe it's only Tuesday. I'm so tired. Monday's final only took me 4 hours (we could stay 8 if we wanted) and today's final was the hardest but I managed to leave not feeling too bad about myself. Our groups project kicks butt so I'm feeling pretty good about stuff in general, but I am feeling the burn. I don't think I've ever had such a productive finals week, but I am sooooo exhausted. Just waiting for Saturday.

the worst day ever
Okay, so I'm exaggerating. Sort of.
Today I turned on my computer and got nothing. No sound, no whirring, nada. It was plugged in, the green light told me the power was surging through the battery, yet my little computer did not fire up. I went to Best Buy (yay for 3-year warranties) and they told me that they'd have to send it out to be fixed... for 2-3 weeks.

Um, hi it's freakin' finals week next week. I have a data for a group project and a group memo on my freakin' hard drive.

This is when I brokedown and cried at Best Buy. Not my finest moment, but you know what? I'm sort of used to crying in front of strangers. It's kinda cathartic. I also went home and cried on the shoulder of my dad, which I haven't done since I was like 5.

My cousin is an IT director so I drove to his work and he took my computer apart and helped me back up part of my hard drive. Laurence saved my ass, not unlike how superchoong saved minsoo's awhile back.

My computer is now in the hands of BB, my school-related data is backed up and my parents loaned me their laptop. It's okay, it's okay.

Thanks to minsoo who, once again, sees me at my worst and still manages to want to walk this journey with me.

Bring on finals. Nothing like a crisis to remind me that I am not in control, even though I try so hard to be.

urban planning relates to real life
My prof has a parking meter in his office. No,really, he does. I went in for office hours and it was sitting on his desk. I think I am going to burn a copy of the meter song and attach it to my last assignment. If he likes it, maybe he will consider it a little "extra credit" *wink wink*. Hey it doesn't hurt to try.

I went to another prof's office (I was makin' the rounds) and it turns out her sons went to my rival high school and her cousin was one of my club advisors. Small world, sort of. I don't think I've talked about high school rivalry since I graduated from high school. It's weird being near home, where people actually know your 'hood. Speaking of the 'hood, this little house a few doors down from my parents' place sold for 1.5 mill buckaroos. Can you believe it??? Housing prices are ridiculous. A lot of my classmates are studying "affordable housing," as if it's an ancient concept. I guess it is in this area.

wow, i'm probably the only one that thinks this is hilarious. how sad.
My applied econ prof makes us write responses to the weekly readings and post them to a general message board that everyone reads. Tonight is the last time I can post a response, but right now I'm so brain dead that I can't think of anything appropriate. The last time I wrote notes late at night I refer to that "p1mp my ride" show... not quite an academic piece.

The only urban planning related thing that i can think of right now are the lyrics to a funky song that minsoo made me listen to... it's called "money in the meter"... why does this relate to urban planning? My prof constantly talks about parking meters and parking lots and the evils of the automobile (this is la, after all). I think he thinks cars are the work of the devil and that we as planners should work at making drivers pay for the real costs they impose on our streets and air. I'm beginning to believe him. Anyway, when I first heard this song, I thought it was the funky version of my prof's lectures... for those of you not familiar with this piece, here's a sample:
"put your money in the meter, stay for a little while, (stay, stay....)
i know just how to treat you, know how to make you smile,
put your money in the meter, stay for a little while (stay, stay...)
i ain't here to cheat you, you know that ain't my style..."

I think this song is about a booty call, but if you take it literally....
The song makes me laugh because I keep imagining my 60 year old white prof getting down and funky with the song. He loves metered parking so I am convinced this is his anthem. I'm considering burning a copy of the song and giving it to him. I'm delirious. I need to sleep.

put your money in the meter... stay for a little while.... (stay! stay!)

i need winter break.

why being sick on Thanksgiving sucks: An essay by wai-ling
[warning: post is filled with complaints.]
Being sick on Thanksgiving sucks for many reasons. However, I would like to focus on why being sick during the Thanksgiving holiday is even worse, for me at least. Holidays are family times when you eat until you think about throwing up. Sometimes this overindulging is a good thing. However, the throwing up part is not. I say this because the real tragedy of being sick this holiday season was enjoying my pumpkin pie and then... um, not enjoying it, if you get my drift. In case you haven't been reading or haven't been around me in years, you might not know my obsession with the orange vegetable (fruit?) that is THE PUMPKIN. I love the pie, the ice cream, the sorbet, the bread, the jamba shake... I could go on. In conclusion, I think that being sick sucks in general, but being sick during the most important dessert holiday of the year is possibly one of the worse things, second only to war, AIDS, starvation and Bush in office. The end.

happy thanksgiving.
i'm sick. no thank you minsoo. i feel like crap.

apartment disaster deja vu
I came home tonight and had a Deja Vu moment. Well, sort of. After a marathon study session at the Chious, I came home and noticed IT. A big wet spot on my ceiling and a corresponding spot on the wall just above the floor.

Yes, a watermark on my ceiling. Hm, remind you of anything? Unfortunately, the concept of water leaking from my ceiling and onto my shoe rack (which was, coincidently, the very same spot that the water cascaded through my ceiling just under two years ago) brought back horrible memories of the fire department, hysterical crying and asbestos. I called the 24-hour maintenance line and asked them to send someone over. Aw hell no. Not again. The maintenance girl came over and told me that someone will come by tomorrow morning. Um, that was not helpful at all. I'm kinda nervous about this considering the fact that there's some droplets of water in the outlet below the watermark.

I keep telling myself that there's no way history would repeat itself, right? I mean those type of disasters aren't common occurences, right? Right? RIGHT?!

studying has opened up a whole new world
My first quarter of grad school is almost over and I am starting to feel the burn. I'm tired all the time, starting to fall asleep during classes, worrying about all of the projects that are due. You think I'm complaining, right. Actually, school is pretty dope. I keep telling Paula how amazing it is... when you actually study. I think I studied a total of 2 weeks per quarter in undergrad. I'm really enjoying being fully engaged all quarter. I am still behind, still stressed about assignments, but it's all under control. I sort of wish I didn't have to plan a wedding right now because I'm actually enjoying academia and I wish I could be more involved in school stuff.

Anyway, I'm tired and I can't wait for winter break! Whew... in the meantime, still scouting out BM dresses and having mild breakdowns about wedding crap. Who knew I could think about color schemes for months on end and not come up with anything? Weddings, schmeddings.

On a funny note, one of my classmates found out that Angry AM is my fiance. He was like, 'whoa, that guy is famous! I read his page everyday!' He was rather impressed, which made me feel a little weird. Proud, but sorta weird. My classmate also "warned" me that his girl friends were "jocking" (by the way, I'm still not totally clear on this definition) minsoo at a conference he went to a few weeks ago. I told him to spread it around that AAM is TAKEN!

less political stuff for you weak-hearted (just kidding)
I saw the second Bridget J movie last night with paula han, jt and susan shaw. It was like a seeing the first one again, only this time Bridget goes to Thailand (insert Thai prostitute stereotype here)! It was funny and cute and I generally had a good time (except for the Thailand part), but I still like the first one better. Just to make sure, I watched it last night, after I got back from the movie. And then I watched it this afternoon, you know, just to make sure. I recommend watching the second one if you loved the first one or if you haven't watched the first one in awhile, because it's pretty similar. I loved the second book that this sequel is based on, but it was such a crazy story that didn't translate well to the movie.

I need to see Garden State because the soundtrack rocks. That Zero 7 song was used in another indy film starring two roommates and a pair of nunchucks... hmmm.

Pumpkin season is almost over. :(

Wedding planning sucks sometimes (and lately all the freakin' time), but hearing about friends and families' engagements are awesome --- 2 more next year, including my cousin's wedding in HAWAII! I am so there.

dial up
i am using dial up right now. this is all i can type... too... slow...
4-day weekend coming up! If I can get by tomorrow without the prof calling on me...

not sure about being moded, but sorta felt like it
Today I was talking to our department advisor with a classmate of mine and all of a sudden, they start talking about some event my classmate attended. As I stood and listened politely (feeling very out of the loop) suddenly it dawns on me: I know what they're talking about. They're talking about the scholarship I didn't get because of, ahem, my little outburst of emotions. And then I remember that I knew this chick got the scholarship (we're both Asian and in the UP school, total "demographic twins" only she worked for a senator's office and knows the freakin' president of the organization giving out the scholarship).

She was talking about the fancy (read: Issac Hayes and Angela Bassett were there) event honoring the recipients. DANG IT. So I felt awkward because I'm listening to them talk about a scholarship I didn't get and I'm wondering if they knew I was one of the finalists but I don't know how to insert myself into the conversation and ask about what they're talking about. If I do, what the hell do I say?
Scenario A:"Oh yeah, I didn't get that scholarship" (insert nervous laugh here) which would probably stop the conversation? Or...
Scenario B: Do I do a little recap of my crying session where I pound on the table and tell 'em what pisses me off? Or...
Scenario C: Or do I just stand there and feel crappy about myself?

Yes, of course I chose option C. [Option D would have involved me shouting "NO FAIR YOU GOT SCHOLARSHIP!" And stomping away like a 2 year old. So mature and professional!]

Anyway, it made me feel a little moded. It's like standing there next to someone who got something you didn't because you messed up and then you get to listen to them talk about how cool it was. Oh wait, it wasn't just "like" I was standing there... I WAS standing there.

Once again, another Monday, another vent.

I am a sucker for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. The show gives me tingles inside that almost make me forget about the sad state of our nation. Other than the fact that abc and the other sponsors are making a killing off of ratings and advertisements, it warms my heart to see something so positive. I watch it every Sunday night and without fail am drawn to tears of happiness. Minsoo and Messy laugh at me, but who wouldn't cry? You have no heart if you don't at least get misty eyed when those families see their house for the first time. It gives me a little urban planning moment when people really react to the built environment around them. Anyway, I thought I'd shoot the breeze about tv so that this one post wouldn't only be about our sad sad state of public affairs.

Special shout out to those, especially minsoo, messy and hannah yu , who remind me that i'm not the only one who cares about this crap. It's nice to log on and see some good opinions. No offense to those who write about their trips, etc. but dang it, sometimes you need a little time on the soapbox. Props to hannah who keeps it real in the DC rice fields.

I'm glad I believe in Jesus because even though Nov 2nd was a sad, sad day, there's still hope in Him.

is the word "co-opted" too strong a term?
Overheard at school: "There were two main groups that were supposed to help decide the election: the youth and the evangelical Christians. What happened to the youth?" Hearing this kicked my ass like no other. Despite the fact that I am no longer in the MTV demographic, I still consider myself down with those who heeded the "Vote or Die" message from P-Diddy. However, I also consider myself an "Evangelical Christian." Or do I? I am proud to be part of the contingent who went to the polls to vote their "morals". However, I am appalled that I am in the minority 25% of this group who did not vote for Bush. I am sickened that faith has been so warped in this election and this past administration. It offends me that someone has co-opted my faith. I'm not saying that Christians need to vote Democratic, green or even Peace and Freedom. I'm just saying that voting your faith is not as black and white as it's painted out to be. If you feel that God is neither a republican nor a democrat, go to www.sojo.net. It's for Christians who believe their faith is about social justice and doing Jesus's work, regardless of party affiliation.

addendum
Vote for Kerry. Especially if you're in one of the 9 battleground states. I actually don't think I know anyone in the swing states. Vote for Kerry even if you consider yourself "conservative" whatever that means... I'm not even sure I'm that "liberal"). It's okay, I won't tell. Kerry is actually pretty conservative too. Vote for Kerry even if you've always voted Republican. Dems don't bite. A little motivational story: my dad is a staunch republican and last year's election he voted for Nader. You too, can vote outside the party lines. If anyone knows my Dad you know that he's not super liberal. In fact, he listens to (gasp!) talk radio on the AM dial. If my dad can do it, so can you!

I just erased my serious and passionate arguments for and against the candidates, because I know that most of you have already made up your mind. I definitely have strong opinions so I'll just stop there. Vote your conscience. No matter what happens we all need to pray hard.

everybody's doing it...
Tuesday is election day. I know there are a lot of apathetic people out there, especially young Asian Ams. Please pass the word along to your friends to go vote. Even if all they do is fill in the bubble for president, it still counts. I know there's a lot to vote for. I spent hours with some friends going over all of those dumb, sketchy propositions and I still wasn't sure how to vote.

Public Service Announcement: If you get there and they don't have your name down or something like that, you can request a provisional ballot. This way, your vote will still count and they'll figure it out later. (I've done this before) It's your constitutional right!

Also, if someone asks you to take a survey, do it. I'm going to be one of those surveyers.

Vote. It's exciting. I want to sound all open-minded and understanding, but seriously, I will be disappointed if you don't. People in other countries would die for the chance to vote in open elections. I'm sure there will be a long line, but it's worth it. Ooh I'm so excited, I'm so excited.... I'm so.... scared.

election time!
One of the local news stations was "reporting" (I use this term lightly) that the upcoming election is so controversial people are afraid to talk about politics in public. I know that this topic is thought of as highly taboo at places like job interviews, formal gatherings and sorority rush, however, I think it's LAME that the media thinks a "politics is taboo" story is actually news. Come on, that's the oldest cope-out in the books. I feel like it perpetuates the "I'm staying out of it" mentality that causes many people not vote, citing reasons like "I don't like either of the candidates". Dude, ONE of those stinkers is gonna impact our lives, whether it be through taxes or war. There are other candidates on the ballot, go vote for them and tell the government you think these candidates suck. I want to rant more, but I'll stop and let Hannah do it because she's better at it.

Hey, if someone asks you to take a survey as you're exiting the polling place, do it. I'll be at one of the polling places surveying so think about me when you say yes.

I just got my rock the Asian vote t-shirt... got a couple of positive comments (even from non-Asians!).

Also, a mini-celebration -- got a good grade on my first grad school paper! I also get to waive a mandatory (but non-credit) writing class that all masters students have to take. Yay for less class.

for lack of a better blog topic
i am a band ... not really. But if I was, this quiz says I'd be:

You're in touch with the world, and you have a very
strong opinion on things like politics and war.
Even if you do end up changing your image in
the future, most of us will still like you.

What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ripped a new one (sort of)
I think I'm sort of weak sauce when it comes to speaking up in class. This is probably one of the main reasons why law school was never an option for me (even though I think some lawyers can really make a difference in this world, more so than urban planners). Today the professor picked on my reading response (which we have to post each week on a class website) to basically diss my proposal. I made some idealistic suggestions and some wrong assertions and he called them "laughable." He even asked another student about something I wrote and she laughed out loud, just to prove the point. Ouch. One of the girls tried to defend me, but by then I felt like hiding under a rock. I'm sure most people would brush it aside, but dude, I'm still bruised from the whole experience. I'm sure no one in the class will remember this, but class participation is a huge fear of mine, no joke. I can speak in front of large groups, give trainings to groups every week, but participating in class discussions are a huge weird phobia. I'm sure you're all saying "then why are you in school again?" Yes, that is a good question. I feel like crap.

Don't mind my complaining, just needed to get it out.

why is my life so action-packed?
Another exciting evening... I spent the evening at a starbucks with Shirls and her neighbor "studying" (read: talking in front of our open books). Procrastinating with friends, just like the old days. We were all Korean-Chinese couples so we were comparing the cultural differences. Gave me a lot to think about.

Side note: it's really stormy out... lightning and thunder... scary!! It's pouring!! Crazy. Isn't it too early in the season to be raining?

maxing and relaxing
It's the end of week two and my first paper of the season is finished! The next one is due next week. I celebrated today by not studying, but I feel sort of guilty. I don't think I started studying until at least week two of the quarter in undergrad. NU really let me slide through the cracks.

Went "Chinese dress shopping" aka driving-around-san-gabriel-looking-at-sketchy-chinese-dress-stores today. I'm glad my parents aren't stuck on Chinese vendors -- those cheesy wedding photos are too much. The posed, foggy shots in the oh-so scenic garden doesn't work for me. They actually sort of scare me. The photos make everyone look really white and ghost-like. Creepy. After today's excursion I know where NOT to go for wedding stuff. I'm also convinced that I can not only make my own Cheongsam, but my bridesmaids dresses as well. I know I can't sew, but dude, it angers me that I'm knowingly leading my loved ones into wasteful spending.

I'm sitting here on a Friday night watching TGIF on channel 7. I haven't done that since the Perfect Strangers, Full House and Family Matters days. I think I'm going to go out hunting for pumpkin ice cream.

my advisor blues...
I've been having a difficult time tracking down my graduate advisor. Today he totally stood me up because he got stuck in a meeting. I felt sort of rejected. Luckily, I saw my "nice white girl friends" as I was entering the computer lab and their sympathy made me feel better. I really enjoy my grad school pals. I feel sort of un-diverse because my favorite group are the angry asians with the cool glasses. I think there are about 4-5 of us A.A.s with those dark glasses. There are actually two other girls that are about my height and sort of tan like me. One is Vietnamese, the other is Thai. I think I found my angry pan-asian american girl posse.

On another note: It's pumpkin ice cream season. I'm going to have to retire green tea for the rest of the season.

I found a wireless signal in my apartment tonight!

elimination
I've been really disturbed by an advertisement that I've seen posted around my neighborhood: "Accent elimination: speak American standard". Why does an accent have to be "eliminated"? It seems to imply that accents are bad and that there is a need to get rid of an accent. What kinda messed up xenophobic attitude is that? I'm sure some might think I'm overreacting, but whatever -- That's racist! My mom took English classes when she was younger to minimize her accent because she was afraid she wouldn't get a good teaching job if she didn't. When I was younger, my friends used to be "impressed" because my mom's English was so good that she sounds like a white woman. At the time I was like, yeah, she's cool. If I was to respond now, I'd be like, you think just because my mom's Chinese she can't speak English properly? That's racist!

Accents are cool. I wish I had a cool one, like my roommate Frenchie. I think it would be hotter to have a British or Australian one. I think accents increase the "hotness" factor (hotness can be described using the following example: Michael Vartan is hot even though he doesn't have an accent). If I had an accent, I think I'd be more bold and talk more in class because I know that even if I didn't say anything intelligent, people would think, "Wow, I want to listen that Asian British chick talk all the time." My 12-year-old valley girl accent just doesn't cut it. I suppose I could develop an affectation. I'm really horrible at accents in general, so I'm sure I'd sound like a linguistic nightmare.

It's the end of week one and I already have two papers due --- ack!!!

...NO...
I feel dumber after listening to Bush speak at tonight's debates. I'm glad I don't watch a lot of his tv appearances because his speaking ability reminds me of the scene in Happy Gilmore when Shooter McGavin says to Happy,"I eat piece of s*** you for breakfast" and then Happy asks, "You eat s*** for breakfast??" Shooter can only reply with a lame second of silence and a flat "NO."

Bush = Shooter.

Today was my first day of class. My classmates have already confided in me which students annoy them: The wise-ass older student who thinks he's really funny and the prissy fake white-washed Latina. It's going to be an interesting quarter.

summer is officially over
The reality of school sunk in this morning at 9am when I arrived at the math/econ review and was promptly presented with a 2 hour math exam. Blah. Lucky for me, I'd been reviewing some math concepts I never thought I'd use again (p.s. who actually uses logarithms in daily life? please show yourself... i thought so... NO ONE!). It was like a high school moment after the test when I stood in the hallway and began comparing notes with the other students ("What did you get for???) All I need is my heavy backpack and I'll all set. Grad school, get ready, high-school wai-ling is BACK IN ACTION.

The afternoon econ section was crazy because half of the class are econ whizzes and the other half have no idea what is going on. I am partially clueless, but not totally challenged, thank goodness. At one point, a guy raises his hand in frustration and says "I'm sorry, I just don't understand. I can't even formulate a question to ask, because I don't even know what is going on right now." I felt really bad for him. I think a lot of the other students felt bad too. One awesome thing about this program: The people seem really nice and willing to help each other. It made me all fuzzy inside.

Anyway, I'm boring you. I know it. Wedding... then school. No more crazy roommating stories (just yet, anyway)... no more crazy work rants.

Once again... in transit.

am something of a genius in the bouquet-making department as well
I am ridiculously proud of myself. As part of my "not-getting-ripped-off" wedding campaign, I decided to try and make my own bouquet as well as potential bridesmaids bouquets. Yesterday afternoon I went to Costco, picked up a $13 bunch of roses, some floral tape from Michaels, and set to work. Check it out (the roses opened up more today so it looks even fuller than in this pic, taken last night!):


my 16-rose bouquet!

Cathy
... Is my new favorite comic strip. She and I are leading parallel lives, both planning our weddings. (Yes, I know she's a cartoon.)

Check this cartoon out: http://www.uclick.com/client/sea/ca/2004/09/09/index.html

We have the same fiance! http://www.uclick.com/client/sea/ca/2004/09/10/index.html

Many of our recent conversations have followed this same pattern: http://www.uclick.com/client/sea/ca/2004/09/11/index.html

I am a bridal lunatic.

$315 oil change
A simple free oil change, that's all I wanted. I went to the dealership at 7am this morning and was first in line to get my quickie oil change, a complementary one for being a first-time customer. I waited an hour until the mechanics actually started working and when they looked at my car, they found that the drain bolt had stripped the thingie (so technical, I know) on the oil pan. They tried to put some kind of stuff on it to make it better, but it needed to be replaced. UGH! Once again, spending money I didn't have. My dad (who went with me) was not pleased when I told him I used to get my oil changes at the local jiffy lube. Yeah, my fault. At the same time, I could not help thinking that the dealership was ripping me off. Grrr.

The only thing that made me feel better was watching a video clip of Michelle Malkin getting the smack down on Hardball. That woman is INSANE.

nasty carpet and other jabaggetti
Tonight is the first night I am sleeping at my new apartment since I "moved" in. I've been sleeping in the den at my parents' house for the past week or so (minsoo and messy are my parents' new sons and thus occupy my sister and my bedrooms). I'm staying here because "French girl" aka "Frenchie" aka Carin arrived today straight from Paris. It'll be interesting to have a roommate I don't know... oh wait, I think I've done that once ... or twice .... or many times.

Some recent observations:
- My apartment has some nasty carpet. It's the type where you want to keep your shoes on. No matter how much you vacuum, it still feels sorta funky under your feet.
- I scanned through the resident names in my building. I would say 75-90% of the names are Asian. Ghettoized as usual.
- Frenchie is tall. I feel like a midget next to her.
- Driving on the freeways and LA roads in general is slowly turning me into a potty mouth. I need to work on this.
- The nasty apartment carpet is really bothering me. I need to write about it again. There's a funny stain in the middle of the "dining" area. What the crap is that? I think it was there even before my roommate (not frenchie, the one who's in Chile for 3 months) moved in a few years ago.
- I get a random wireless connection in my apartment! He he.
- We get free cable in our apartment. I am off my cable hiatus. TLC, I'm back! Did you miss me?

yay for labor day and random things that make me laugh
I am a banana!
My spoon is too big... my spoon is too big.
So shine a blah blah blah da bus rider...
Pork chop sandwiches!
I'm a computer... stop the downloading!
Perestroika
Frenchie

I am 26 today.

back at home
It's been almost a week since I made the move down to LA. I've been slowly unpacking, spending time in "the office" (aka my dining room aka the wireless computing hub where minsoo and messy hang out) and making the trek up the dreaded 405. Well, not exactly. I've decided to somewhat boycott the evil road by taking city streets up to West LA. It turns out that it take me about the same amount of time to get to my apartment from my house on city streets. Ha ha, 405, I got you.

Along with settling in, sleeping in, reading some books and hanging out with the boys, I've decided to follow sarah's lead and hold a garage sale to make up for my dwindling finances. Yay, I guess.

Guess what? I might not have to go to math camp, the refresher course that Urban Planning students take to pass their placement exams. It turns out that the admissions committee recommended this course for "certain" students and I guess I'm not one of them. I think I'll still need a refresher, but at least I won't have to pay money to spend the next two weeks in class.

My roommate is moving out of our place next week and a girl from France will be joining me in my apartment for 3 months. I will update you on this potential distaster.

That's it. Sort of random, I guess.

back home
So I'm here in LA... I spent this afternoon unpacking my apartment even though I will be spending most of the next week or so at my parents' house. I wish their house was closer to school. It's so nice here. It's cool having minsoo and messy at my house. It's more fun. I think our neighbors were a little weirded out when they arrived on the scene. It's a close knit community and we're one of the few Asian families on the block. They probably thought that the guys were cousins or new arrivals from the motherland. My next door neighbor thought that there was a whole group of guys staying here because David and Jason drove down with me last week. Bringin' some Nor Cal flava south.

Today I picked up some summer reading books. I felt like I was back in high school when I was an eager beaver student. Let the nerdiness begin.

more closure
This is it. My last official day here. I'll be returning this weekend to clean my apartment and tie up some loose ends, but this is it. Yes, and the reminiscing begins: Almost four years ago I drove up here in my little broke-down civic, with all of my possessions piled high, hoping for good things. Things haven't always been good, but God has always taken care of me despite it all. Returning to LA brings a lot of closure to many parts of my life. I want to go into it now, but it's late, I'm tired and, to be honest, I haven't processed it all yet.

So anyway, it's not "Good-bye, bay area," it's "I'll see you soon."

signing off from the bay area...

some closure
YAY!!! I bought it. If you don't know what "it" is, you need to read my recent posts. I've heard tons of horror stories about the whole process, so let's all just pray for a smooth delivery. Whew!

Packing is happening, but very slowly. I think I'm sort of rusty at it. I pack one bag or box and then I wander around my apartment, discontent with the messiness, until I give up and start surfing the web or watching Olympics. This process is fairly similar to the move-out process after college. My parents had to pack me up because all I did was putz around and reminsce while my family packed up my belongings.

Right now I'm fairly frustrated because nothing fits nicely into boxes anymore. Usually, everything has a box and/or are already packed and ready to make a quick exit. I guess it's gotten harder to make a quick exit. Does that mean I am actually used to living in northern California? Is all the gripping about no beach being replaced by memories of good times in the 'jo (pronouced "ho", my nickname for San Jose)? Better get packing.

more babble
Phew... what a crazy week. I spent 4 (count 'em 4) days straight of wedding dress craziness. Today, I think I found it... or at least, today I *think* it's THE dress. Tomorrow, who knows? I promise I'll stop talking about soon, I promise.

On another note, I had a fun time at my non-profit's fundraiser last night. We held a happy hour-type thing at a club downtown. It was fun to hang out with co-workers, people in the program and the usuals. Some of our board members and some of the people in the program bought me drinks to send me off, which was really nice. Ahem. Note to self: after a few too many beverages, I make a lot of "notes to self." Thanks to the Hahn/Hans (hee hee, we all brothers) for hanging out later.

Watched Princess Diaries 2. I would say it was a big waste of money, but I did a little bit of sister (in-law) bonding, so it was well worth it. Only for Hannah and Sarah.

4 more days until I move! The packing craziness begins.

i think i'm going wedding dress crazy... another rant
Today, I joined ebay. I haven't purchased anything (yet), however, I registered myself and even began to inquire about certain items (*cough wedding dresses cough*). I'm determined to get a good deal, even if drives me crazy.

Today, I also almost became a craigslist buyer. I went to try on a dress and actually liked it. I also really really liked the couple that was selling it. They were supercool and I almost wanted to buy it based on their coolness. They talked my ear off about wedding stuff and were totally sweet about giving me advice, even showing me their wedding photos.

On Wednesday I took the Yu sistas and the two Jesses (my sister and Hannah's old roomie) to the WEDDING GOWN SUPERSTORE. I say that in all caps because it just sounds large and very grand. It wasn't that large or grand (kinda ghetto), but I did get to try on a few gowns. Sarah was the lucky sister to help me put them on (jess conveniently passed on the duty -- what a great maid of honor) and the other girls gave me their critique from the weird "stage" they set up at the gown store. [note: I am writing this at 1am and there is a tow truck dropping off a car on the street. It is so loud. It is 1am for goodness sake!!]

Observation: There are a lot of REALLY UGLY wedding gowns out there.. and a lot of desperate people trying to sell their really ugly gowns.

wedding gown rant
Like most excited brides, one of the first things I did after I got engaged was hit the dress shops. At first, it was fun: Dressing up and then running home and printing out the photo of "The One" to show to my friends. Now, almost two months later, I'm already disillusioned and kinda burnt out. I spend way too much time on bridal websites, craigslist and flipping through bridal guides and mags looking at those white dresses. After awhile, they all blend together. Then my eyes roll back into my head and I start to mumble under my breath things like "hmmmm organza."

Dress shopping has become sort of heinous for several reasons:
1. The high probability of rip off: cheap dresses are sold for thousands of dollars to hungry brides, bridal shops price gouge like crazy and I've heard wayyyy too many horror stories about dresses gone wrong.
2. Trying on nasty dresses. I spent a horrendous afternoon with my mom trying on really dirty sample dresses at some really sketchy wedding shops. I'll spare you the details, I'll just say that I felt sort of slimy at the end of the day.
3. Too many choices. Beads, organza, satin, a-line, mermaid, sweep, cathedral, blah, blah, blah! Every time I went to a shop, I left wanting a different style dress. It also doesn't help that each dress store has a different selection and always claims they don't have the dress that I like but "can order it" for me. Did I say bridal shops are sketchy?

To sum it up, the whole process is whack. Does anyone know of a cheap seamstress or can teach me to sew?

I probably need to go on a wedding dress hiatus.