rant of the day
I'm heading into week 5 and boy am I tired. My thesis project has replaced wedding planning as all-consuming-project-of-the-year. The good thing is that I don't have to plan it all by myself (I have four awesome team members) and I get school credit for it!
Anyway, a few rants:
Thanks to tricialae, I read an article in the NYT about feminism. In the article, the author talks about how she received a book from her mom on how to catch a man. Some of the lines from the book were --- "Keep thinking of yourself as a soft, mysterious cat.. . .Men are fascinated by bright, shiny objects, by lots of curls, lots of hair on the head . . . by bows, ribbons, ruffles and bright colors.. . .Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether."
Sarcasm is dangerous??!! Yes, I know that "good" Christians aren't supposed to be sarcastic, but it's been my main coping mechanism & compensation technique for so many years now that I have to believe that minsoo enjoys me for my brand of humor and not in spite of it...
Or maybe it was the bows, ruffles and bright colors...
The author also discussed the theory that as women get more successful, they are less desirable to the opposite sex. A reader wrote in and said that "smart women were 'draining at times.'" I asked Phil if this were true. He just hunched over his computer and said that he was really tired. Hrumph.
My friend told me that he's really intimidated by smart women and that he broke up with a girl because she was smarter than him and he was scared. I wanted to shake him.
I need some sleep. I'm draining myself (although it might be so arrogant to think I'm one of those 'smart women' because maybe I'm not. oh well, at least I can still be sarcastic.)
10/31/2005
10/19/2005
"sketched" out
As part of my graduating requirements, I have to complete a thesis-type project. "The mafia" (aka my Asian posse) has decided to do a group project on gentrification and to get departmental approval, we have to find two faculty advisors to sign off on our project. Yesterday, we had a meeting with our lead advisor, who is Japanese American and defies the "quiet demure humorless asian woman". She gave us some feedback and then we headed off to a meeting with our second advisor, an older white woman who's done a lot of community work and is known for her research on diverse community work.
When we arrived at her office, a classmate was already meeting with her, so we stood outside her door to reschedule a meeting. Jackie (we get to call all of our profs by their first names b/c our dept is "liberal" and wants to do away with the professor-student hierarchy), our prof, was in the middle of rescheduling our meeting, when she says, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt but you guys are soooo cute right now!"
WHAT?
"I just want to [holds her hands as if she's taking a picture of us]... sketch you guys right now. You are just so cute standing there!"
HUH? Apparently our formation in front of her door was like a postcard from the far east. Or perhaps it was an exotic portrait of pan-asian collaboration, a representation of the "oriental" in the west? Should we bow and giggle? Should we have been wearing our "ethnic" garb to reinforce our diverse backgrounds? Or should we have donned a ninja-type uniform to express our unity as "the cute asians who do projects together"?
WHAT THE HELL. In a single moment, I remembered -- I am Asian. And although I am very aware of my race and very aware that I can not escape the color of my skin and the shape of my eyes.
As part of my graduating requirements, I have to complete a thesis-type project. "The mafia" (aka my Asian posse) has decided to do a group project on gentrification and to get departmental approval, we have to find two faculty advisors to sign off on our project. Yesterday, we had a meeting with our lead advisor, who is Japanese American and defies the "quiet demure humorless asian woman". She gave us some feedback and then we headed off to a meeting with our second advisor, an older white woman who's done a lot of community work and is known for her research on diverse community work.
When we arrived at her office, a classmate was already meeting with her, so we stood outside her door to reschedule a meeting. Jackie (we get to call all of our profs by their first names b/c our dept is "liberal" and wants to do away with the professor-student hierarchy), our prof, was in the middle of rescheduling our meeting, when she says, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt but you guys are soooo cute right now!"
WHAT?
"I just want to [holds her hands as if she's taking a picture of us]... sketch you guys right now. You are just so cute standing there!"
HUH? Apparently our formation in front of her door was like a postcard from the far east. Or perhaps it was an exotic portrait of pan-asian collaboration, a representation of the "oriental" in the west? Should we bow and giggle? Should we have been wearing our "ethnic" garb to reinforce our diverse backgrounds? Or should we have donned a ninja-type uniform to express our unity as "the cute asians who do projects together"?
WHAT THE HELL. In a single moment, I remembered -- I am Asian. And although I am very aware of my race and very aware that I can not escape the color of my skin and the shape of my eyes.
10/15/2005
the game
Last weekend, I partied a lot. And by a lot, I mean I was out of the house and consuming moderate doses of alcohol and staying out until the wee hours of the night more than one night in a row. Both were good times, but dude, on Monday I was hurting... and feeling kinda weak sauce. I don't know how law students do the play hard/work hard thing.
Anyway, it was fun going out and watching "the game." You know what I'm talking about. The game is when you're out, scoping out potential dates/mates. Most of my grad school friends are single and we were all out at a fundraising event. My friend was in charge of organizing the event and he seemed to have invited every single woman that he was/is/might be interested in. So needless to say, there were a lot of cute single (and young) Asian girls in the place.
However, my old roommate was also in attendance. Even though I make fun of his lack of game, the dude is not shy and actually DOES have some game (for a nerdy, shorter, pale Asian boy who plays video games). At one point, my two friends were both trying to woo the same girl. However, ex-roommate's game was much sharper and he swooped much faster than my other friend.
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed doing a minute-by-minute commentary on the game with my other friend who is friends with both of the guys too. We agreed not to take sides, but agreed that my ex-roommate played the best game that night, despite our other friends' ability to draw so many ladies to our event. Men, take note -- it doesn't matter if you invite them and they are in the same room. If you don't initiate good conversation AND (this is key) get her number, there is no game (*cough* at our wedding *cough*cough*cough).
I'm definitely surprised at my ex-roommie's game playing. He's kind of - dare I say it? - S-U-A-V-E.
Last weekend, I partied a lot. And by a lot, I mean I was out of the house and consuming moderate doses of alcohol and staying out until the wee hours of the night more than one night in a row. Both were good times, but dude, on Monday I was hurting... and feeling kinda weak sauce. I don't know how law students do the play hard/work hard thing.
Anyway, it was fun going out and watching "the game." You know what I'm talking about. The game is when you're out, scoping out potential dates/mates. Most of my grad school friends are single and we were all out at a fundraising event. My friend was in charge of organizing the event and he seemed to have invited every single woman that he was/is/might be interested in. So needless to say, there were a lot of cute single (and young) Asian girls in the place.
However, my old roommate was also in attendance. Even though I make fun of his lack of game, the dude is not shy and actually DOES have some game (for a nerdy, shorter, pale Asian boy who plays video games). At one point, my two friends were both trying to woo the same girl. However, ex-roommate's game was much sharper and he swooped much faster than my other friend.
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed doing a minute-by-minute commentary on the game with my other friend who is friends with both of the guys too. We agreed not to take sides, but agreed that my ex-roommate played the best game that night, despite our other friends' ability to draw so many ladies to our event. Men, take note -- it doesn't matter if you invite them and they are in the same room. If you don't initiate good conversation AND (this is key) get her number, there is no game (*cough* at our wedding *cough*cough*cough).
I'm definitely surprised at my ex-roommie's game playing. He's kind of - dare I say it? - S-U-A-V-E.
10/05/2005
faith and revolution
I've been spending a lot of time talking about revolutions and movements with my urban planning classmates. This is why I love love love my program so much. It's so refreshing to be with people who think critically, care so much about social change and are freaking smart.
Lately I've had several conversations about church with a few urban planning pals, which has surprised me as I'm one of the few Christians in the program. In fact, I would say that it's so "liberal" that people of faith are an anomaly. Last spring, I had to represent when a classmate talked about how religious people all voted for Bush and are racist. It's sad that Christians are rare in progressive circles despite the fact that Jesus was a radical progressive working for social change. Anyway, it's been weird to be asked questions like "What church do you go to?" or "Hey how was church?" by my non-Christian friends. I've learned to use more subtle and less aggressive evangelism tactics so I've just answered personally and without pouncing on them to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. That being said, it seems weird that my latest convos about religion have come from my non-Christian friends. Minsoo says that maybe they ask me about this stuff because I'm not one of those scary religious freaks. I think it's because I'm such a bad Christian they're trying to test me and see if I'm faking it. Either way, I feel like I am an "outed" Christian in my progressive circle.
My first week of classes is over and I'm tired. So tired.
I've been spending a lot of time talking about revolutions and movements with my urban planning classmates. This is why I love love love my program so much. It's so refreshing to be with people who think critically, care so much about social change and are freaking smart.
Lately I've had several conversations about church with a few urban planning pals, which has surprised me as I'm one of the few Christians in the program. In fact, I would say that it's so "liberal" that people of faith are an anomaly. Last spring, I had to represent when a classmate talked about how religious people all voted for Bush and are racist. It's sad that Christians are rare in progressive circles despite the fact that Jesus was a radical progressive working for social change. Anyway, it's been weird to be asked questions like "What church do you go to?" or "Hey how was church?" by my non-Christian friends. I've learned to use more subtle and less aggressive evangelism tactics so I've just answered personally and without pouncing on them to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. That being said, it seems weird that my latest convos about religion have come from my non-Christian friends. Minsoo says that maybe they ask me about this stuff because I'm not one of those scary religious freaks. I think it's because I'm such a bad Christian they're trying to test me and see if I'm faking it. Either way, I feel like I am an "outed" Christian in my progressive circle.
My first week of classes is over and I'm tired. So tired.
10/02/2005
partying and thinking too deeply
I spent most of my free time deconstructing my daily activities and deliberating over whether my exploits/adventures/calamities/mundane life should be included in this blah-og. This is sad, and indicates that I've got a mild case of OCD. This weekend has already been pretty eventful and since I've been doing a lot of deep thinking while cooking curry and washing dishes sans minsoo, there are a lot of things swimming in my head.
Instead of going to a church-related couples gathering (see earlier post about annoying wife-directed e-mail), I went drinking with single people instead. Actually it was JT's b-day so minsoo, messy and I headed out to a bar in Venice. Two drinks (and feelings of mild drunkenness) later, I was talking to some people when a cute little girl walks up to me and gives me a hug. This girl was a family friend who is like a little cousin of mine. It was shocking to see her -- I remember her when she was a baby, learning how to take a pee in the toilet (we went to the same babysitter). Now, she's hanging out in the same bar, midori sour in hand. Dang, all growns up. It turns out she has friends who know one of JT's co-workers. Anyway, it was one of those surreal, potentially awkward run-ins. I had to double check if she was "of age" and I told her that if she got in trouble with her parents for being out so late (who are like uber-super-amazing parents of the year types), she could tell them that she was with me, since being with me seems to have always made my friends' parents believe the lies. I walked away feeling sort of old. Am I still allowed to go to places like this? Once you get older do you have to "phase" yourself out of the "scene?" What happens if you refuse?
I went to another - very different - birthday celebration tonight. Another family friend was turning 50. It was fun because I got to see some people I hadn't seen since the wedding banquet, including my uncles. My uncles (my mom's brothers) and I have become so much closer over the years. I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. They are definitely not your typical "traditional" uncles -- Let's call them "artsy" -- and have become my second fathers. Since neither of them have kids, I definitely feel as if I have double the attention and know that I will be the one to take of them when the time comes.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do post-grad school. When I graduated from undergrad it was more about "jobs" and now, 5 years later, I think more about my personal philosophy, what that means for the career path I want to take, how this complements/conflicts with the realities of living with a husband and wanting to live comfortably and how this complements/conflicts my personal philosophy that I constantly tout in this blog. And then on top of that, I am always questioning whether I can change anything in this world or whether I should just keep my head down and do the boring stuff that I am good at and aim for nothing more. We get more complicated and as a result, our decisions get more complicated. Or is it just that we think they're more complicated? Anyway, I've been feeling conflicted.
Dang, now I just alienated my two readers. I hate it when I read blogs that rant about philosophical crap that is so vague you can't really figure out what is going on. I just did that. Sorry. Next time I'll talk more about the bars and drinking next time.
I spent most of my free time deconstructing my daily activities and deliberating over whether my exploits/adventures/calamities/mundane life should be included in this blah-og. This is sad, and indicates that I've got a mild case of OCD. This weekend has already been pretty eventful and since I've been doing a lot of deep thinking while cooking curry and washing dishes sans minsoo, there are a lot of things swimming in my head.
Instead of going to a church-related couples gathering (see earlier post about annoying wife-directed e-mail), I went drinking with single people instead. Actually it was JT's b-day so minsoo, messy and I headed out to a bar in Venice. Two drinks (and feelings of mild drunkenness) later, I was talking to some people when a cute little girl walks up to me and gives me a hug. This girl was a family friend who is like a little cousin of mine. It was shocking to see her -- I remember her when she was a baby, learning how to take a pee in the toilet (we went to the same babysitter). Now, she's hanging out in the same bar, midori sour in hand. Dang, all growns up. It turns out she has friends who know one of JT's co-workers. Anyway, it was one of those surreal, potentially awkward run-ins. I had to double check if she was "of age" and I told her that if she got in trouble with her parents for being out so late (who are like uber-super-amazing parents of the year types), she could tell them that she was with me, since being with me seems to have always made my friends' parents believe the lies. I walked away feeling sort of old. Am I still allowed to go to places like this? Once you get older do you have to "phase" yourself out of the "scene?" What happens if you refuse?
I went to another - very different - birthday celebration tonight. Another family friend was turning 50. It was fun because I got to see some people I hadn't seen since the wedding banquet, including my uncles. My uncles (my mom's brothers) and I have become so much closer over the years. I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. They are definitely not your typical "traditional" uncles -- Let's call them "artsy" -- and have become my second fathers. Since neither of them have kids, I definitely feel as if I have double the attention and know that I will be the one to take of them when the time comes.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do post-grad school. When I graduated from undergrad it was more about "jobs" and now, 5 years later, I think more about my personal philosophy, what that means for the career path I want to take, how this complements/conflicts with the realities of living with a husband and wanting to live comfortably and how this complements/conflicts my personal philosophy that I constantly tout in this blog. And then on top of that, I am always questioning whether I can change anything in this world or whether I should just keep my head down and do the boring stuff that I am good at and aim for nothing more. We get more complicated and as a result, our decisions get more complicated. Or is it just that we think they're more complicated? Anyway, I've been feeling conflicted.
Dang, now I just alienated my two readers. I hate it when I read blogs that rant about philosophical crap that is so vague you can't really figure out what is going on. I just did that. Sorry. Next time I'll talk more about the bars and drinking next time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
