i see red
I just heard the shower caddy in my bathroom fall on the floor. My OCD tendencies are luring me away from this computer toward the disorder in the bathroom, but I will resist. Why am I posting twice in a day? A few reasons: one, I'm obsessed with my wireless connection and love surfing the web while in my bed. Two, because I realized that the past three posts have been void of any thought-provoking, Christ-centered content. The whole point of keeping one of these overplayed blogs is to make it different, insightful and more entertaining than just a laundry list of the things that are currently occupying my time. My point of writing again, I suppose, is to break the cycle of whiny, irrelevant posts and return to the days when I actually had a good story to tell...
Sometimes the kids I work with beat the crap out of me -- figuratively, of course. It's not like those punks knowingly cause me to choose "Killing my softly" as my anthem of the moment, but it's scary to see them learn the art of manipulation. From saying things like, "I'm going to tell my mom and she's going to get you fired" to "You're not respecting me now, so I'm not going to respect you", they've learned how to say the things that will make "adults" (as I sometimes call myself) take a step back. Most of the time, they don't even know how loaded their words are -- they just know that they can use them to "get" us. These are the times when I wish I had been more mischievous as a child and therefore would know how to react, instead of just looking shocked and then giving the "You annoy me" look. What's sadder than seeing these kids growing up too fast, is knowing that their environment, whether it's their screwed up family life or their dysfunctional pre-pubescent relationships, is fostering their warped view of the world.
I guess now would be a good opportunity to tell a story about one of my students. Unfortunately, I feel like there's no one story to explain this and I'm not in a place to write something insightful about the kids without becoming frustrated or disheartened. Let's just say that there are times when I look into the faces of the kids I work with and see a glowing white light. Then there are times when all I see is red.
4/29/2003
cable, part two
Jane and I joyfully discovered that we have an abridged version of cable on Monday night. It only goes up to channel 38 (so no MTV :( ) but the picture is clear and I get channel 3 & 7 (Friends, Scrubs and Alias - yeah!) and those are the really important stations. I guess not getting every channel makes it alright that I'm not actually paying for it. Ha, ha, Comcast... gotcha.
Jane and I joyfully discovered that we have an abridged version of cable on Monday night. It only goes up to channel 38 (so no MTV :( ) but the picture is clear and I get channel 3 & 7 (Friends, Scrubs and Alias - yeah!) and those are the really important stations. I guess not getting every channel makes it alright that I'm not actually paying for it. Ha, ha, Comcast... gotcha.
4/27/2003
internet
Ah technology. I just spent over two hours trying to set up my DSL modem and wireless router on my roommate's computer. I finally called Netgear to figure out why the wireless router wouldn't connect. It turns out that I had to put my password PLUS @sbcglobal.net to log into the router. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. However, now I'm writing this from my living room on a completely wireless laptop. Ahhhh. So I don't have cable -- at least I have the internet.
Ah technology. I just spent over two hours trying to set up my DSL modem and wireless router on my roommate's computer. I finally called Netgear to figure out why the wireless router wouldn't connect. It turns out that I had to put my password PLUS @sbcglobal.net to log into the router. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. However, now I'm writing this from my living room on a completely wireless laptop. Ahhhh. So I don't have cable -- at least I have the internet.
4/26/2003
cable
Representatives from Comcast came to my door last week asking if my cable was working. Technically we don't get cable, but my roommate had a switch and cables from her old apartment and with the help of our trusty VCR, we hooked up the cable lines. Anyway, I foolishly showed the comcast reps my tv and then they tried to get me to sign up for cable. I said no, I'd rather they just disconnect the lines. They refused. One of the reps even asked to speak to the "head of the household". Um, EXCUSE ME!? This enraged me even more. I refused and kept arguing with the condescending rep that I was not signing anything. If he had just said to me, "Look lady, we know you've been stealing cable from us and we're either going to disconnect it or make you pay" I would have said, okay dude, what's the price like? But instead, they were really sneaky about it, and basically were not up front. Despite the fact that we had cable (which we really didn't since we had to manuever through the vcr), which I know was not the most honest way of doing things, I felt that these representatives were so rude and disrespectful and UNPROFESSIONAL that I didn't even want to consider signing up with them. They finally convinced me that signing it would not do anything and I signed the stupid paper. That night, when I glanced at the sheet again, it had a price written on it! They had tricked me! I called and cancelled the service and complained and they cleared my account. Two days ago, I received a bill for the services that I had cancelled! Meanwhile, my cable had been cut. So now, I'm being charged for services that I don't even have.
I am boycotting Comcast cable. Those jerks don't deserve my money. Is there another option? I hate corporate monopolies.
Representatives from Comcast came to my door last week asking if my cable was working. Technically we don't get cable, but my roommate had a switch and cables from her old apartment and with the help of our trusty VCR, we hooked up the cable lines. Anyway, I foolishly showed the comcast reps my tv and then they tried to get me to sign up for cable. I said no, I'd rather they just disconnect the lines. They refused. One of the reps even asked to speak to the "head of the household". Um, EXCUSE ME!? This enraged me even more. I refused and kept arguing with the condescending rep that I was not signing anything. If he had just said to me, "Look lady, we know you've been stealing cable from us and we're either going to disconnect it or make you pay" I would have said, okay dude, what's the price like? But instead, they were really sneaky about it, and basically were not up front. Despite the fact that we had cable (which we really didn't since we had to manuever through the vcr), which I know was not the most honest way of doing things, I felt that these representatives were so rude and disrespectful and UNPROFESSIONAL that I didn't even want to consider signing up with them. They finally convinced me that signing it would not do anything and I signed the stupid paper. That night, when I glanced at the sheet again, it had a price written on it! They had tricked me! I called and cancelled the service and complained and they cleared my account. Two days ago, I received a bill for the services that I had cancelled! Meanwhile, my cable had been cut. So now, I'm being charged for services that I don't even have.
I am boycotting Comcast cable. Those jerks don't deserve my money. Is there another option? I hate corporate monopolies.
4/25/2003
ouch
I've only cried in front of my students a few times. This week brought the count up to three, which is shameful considering that I am almost 25 and should be able to control my emotions. I have reverted back to the hormonal state of a 13-year-old. The students are horrible to each other and to the staff. I know they are really self-centered and are developmentally at the age where they are extremely self-aware and react out of insecurity. It's still hard to see them tear everyone down.
I feel pretty defeated and uneffective. I know that they are a bundle of contradictions and that they often say things to push buttons and cause conflict, but it's still hard to hear them criticize the things you do for them. I guess this is what being a parent is like, to an extent. Half of the time I'm muttering to myself, If I had a kid who reacted like that, I'd... I'm being really vague about what happened this week, but it's too complicated to explain. I'll just say that I felt at times during this week, the kids were ripping me a new one. I hope you know what that means. It wasn't pretty.
I've only cried in front of my students a few times. This week brought the count up to three, which is shameful considering that I am almost 25 and should be able to control my emotions. I have reverted back to the hormonal state of a 13-year-old. The students are horrible to each other and to the staff. I know they are really self-centered and are developmentally at the age where they are extremely self-aware and react out of insecurity. It's still hard to see them tear everyone down.
I feel pretty defeated and uneffective. I know that they are a bundle of contradictions and that they often say things to push buttons and cause conflict, but it's still hard to hear them criticize the things you do for them. I guess this is what being a parent is like, to an extent. Half of the time I'm muttering to myself, If I had a kid who reacted like that, I'd... I'm being really vague about what happened this week, but it's too complicated to explain. I'll just say that I felt at times during this week, the kids were ripping me a new one. I hope you know what that means. It wasn't pretty.
4/20/2003
4/11/2003
4/03/2003
my tv commentary
I try and refrain from commenting on tv shows as I know that's the focal point of many of my friends' blogs, however, I wanted to share some thoughts on two of my favorite shows.
The West Wing
I don't get to watch this show as much as I would like, however whenever I do, I always end up sighing and wiping the mist away from my eyes. President Barlet, you are cool. C.J., you are so smart and articulate. *Sigh*... POOF! I wake up from the dream that is The West Wing and realize that I live in the real United States, not Aaron Sorkin's NBC version. And then I realize that we're in a war that half of the world doesn't support, a good number of American's don't agree with and revisiting the Imperialist mentality that has made the United States beloved by terrorists the world over. *big sigh*
Alias
Jennifer Garner kicks some serious butt in the coolest show. And she's pretty attractive in a girl-next-door-who-could-kick-my-butt sort of way. And of course, I'm not even going to expound on the hotness that is Michael Vartan. But now that she's getting a divorce, I feel like it kinda lessens her coolness factor, at least in my eyes. I hope it's not the "I'm married to a guy in the biz and we're super happy until I become the hottest new thing around town" scenario. I just hope she doesn't start going out with all these skeezy celebs and then end up in a series of bad relationships where her skank factor sky-rockets. Please don't do it Jennifer!
I try and refrain from commenting on tv shows as I know that's the focal point of many of my friends' blogs, however, I wanted to share some thoughts on two of my favorite shows.
The West Wing
I don't get to watch this show as much as I would like, however whenever I do, I always end up sighing and wiping the mist away from my eyes. President Barlet, you are cool. C.J., you are so smart and articulate. *Sigh*... POOF! I wake up from the dream that is The West Wing and realize that I live in the real United States, not Aaron Sorkin's NBC version. And then I realize that we're in a war that half of the world doesn't support, a good number of American's don't agree with and revisiting the Imperialist mentality that has made the United States beloved by terrorists the world over. *big sigh*
Alias
Jennifer Garner kicks some serious butt in the coolest show. And she's pretty attractive in a girl-next-door-who-could-kick-my-butt sort of way. And of course, I'm not even going to expound on the hotness that is Michael Vartan. But now that she's getting a divorce, I feel like it kinda lessens her coolness factor, at least in my eyes. I hope it's not the "I'm married to a guy in the biz and we're super happy until I become the hottest new thing around town" scenario. I just hope she doesn't start going out with all these skeezy celebs and then end up in a series of bad relationships where her skank factor sky-rockets. Please don't do it Jennifer!
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