so good
So I returned home to be with my family and to attend my cousin's funeral. Today is my last day at home in the LA area. My college friends used to tell me that living in my area was like being on vacation all the time. I think they're right. Living 2 blocks from the beach, eating lunch at outdoor cafes, shopping at vintage or surf stores... ahhhhh, this is the life. I'm really not looking forward to returning to the dry, hot, landlocked Silicon Valley.
Okay, San Jose's not that bad. It's just that home is really that good.
7/30/2002
7/21/2002
don't understand
Saturday morning my mom called me to let me know that my cousin Christine had passed away. This news was a complete shock to me. Our family knew she'd been sick (she's only about 30 years old) but she was nowhere near death. This news left us stunned, confused and angry at her dad, my uncle, for not communicating about how sick our cousin really was. We knew that she had been ill for awhile, but we never knew what it was, nor that it was life-threatening. Apparently, she went in for a risky surgery last week with little hope of coming out of it -- a detail that my uncle failed to mention to the rest of his family.
It angers me because I cannot properly mourn for my cousin. I don't know what disease took her. I was never able to share in the pain that comes from watching a loved one suffer. I never visited her in the hospital -- nor did I even know that was in the hospital for about a month. I never shed a tear for her illness nor did I pray as fervently as I could have for her recovery. I didn't know -- and that's what hurts me the most.
So I guess I should be glad that she's "not in anymore pain" and I have to hope and think that she believed in Christ and is in heaven (I was never sure about her spiritual state). But I feel cheated. I can't reflect on my relationship with her like the one I had with my grandfather. We weren't given the opportunity, nor the time, to develop one. And this is what makes me sad.
Saturday morning my mom called me to let me know that my cousin Christine had passed away. This news was a complete shock to me. Our family knew she'd been sick (she's only about 30 years old) but she was nowhere near death. This news left us stunned, confused and angry at her dad, my uncle, for not communicating about how sick our cousin really was. We knew that she had been ill for awhile, but we never knew what it was, nor that it was life-threatening. Apparently, she went in for a risky surgery last week with little hope of coming out of it -- a detail that my uncle failed to mention to the rest of his family.
It angers me because I cannot properly mourn for my cousin. I don't know what disease took her. I was never able to share in the pain that comes from watching a loved one suffer. I never visited her in the hospital -- nor did I even know that was in the hospital for about a month. I never shed a tear for her illness nor did I pray as fervently as I could have for her recovery. I didn't know -- and that's what hurts me the most.
So I guess I should be glad that she's "not in anymore pain" and I have to hope and think that she believed in Christ and is in heaven (I was never sure about her spiritual state). But I feel cheated. I can't reflect on my relationship with her like the one I had with my grandfather. We weren't given the opportunity, nor the time, to develop one. And this is what makes me sad.
7/18/2002
in remembrance
On Tuesday night, I went to Minsoo's house for dinner. When I arrived, I was surprised to see his extended family there as well. It turns out, it was the anniversary of his grandfather's death. Minsoo didn't know him, but every year his family gets together in remembrance of his grandfather. I'm usually invited purely because his mom cooks a fat dinner for us afterward. Anyway, as his parents and Korean-speaking relatives sang hymns and shared memories of his grandfather, it hit me: Today was the anniversary of my own grandfather. He passed away last year on the same day. Whoa.
So in honor of my gung-gung, today's entry is devoted to my fond memories of him.
* I remember driving up to San Francisco from Los Angeles to visit my grandparents with my family when I was younger. No matter how late we arrived at their house, they would be waiting for us, arms wide open, ready to give my sister and I lots of hugs and kisses.
* I remember my gung-gung was the most charming, charismatic man. His car stalled by a fire station and when he went into the station, they treated him like a king because he was dressed like a true gentleman. I'm sure it was also because of his wit and the twinkle in his eye.
* I remember that everyone who knew him treated him with such dignity and respect. Even though as he got older, he often demanded that respect, I knew that he was a true leader and always striving to walk boldly as a Christian.
* I remember how sad he was when Po-po died. I'm glad they're together again.
* I remember the last time I saw him. I brought Minsoo to see him and my mother introduced him as someone who was really involved in church. My gung-gung responded by saying "Wonderful, Wonderful." That was the most important thing to gung-gung.
* I remember that he loved me very much. And I loved him very much too.
On Tuesday night, I went to Minsoo's house for dinner. When I arrived, I was surprised to see his extended family there as well. It turns out, it was the anniversary of his grandfather's death. Minsoo didn't know him, but every year his family gets together in remembrance of his grandfather. I'm usually invited purely because his mom cooks a fat dinner for us afterward. Anyway, as his parents and Korean-speaking relatives sang hymns and shared memories of his grandfather, it hit me: Today was the anniversary of my own grandfather. He passed away last year on the same day. Whoa.
So in honor of my gung-gung, today's entry is devoted to my fond memories of him.
* I remember driving up to San Francisco from Los Angeles to visit my grandparents with my family when I was younger. No matter how late we arrived at their house, they would be waiting for us, arms wide open, ready to give my sister and I lots of hugs and kisses.
* I remember my gung-gung was the most charming, charismatic man. His car stalled by a fire station and when he went into the station, they treated him like a king because he was dressed like a true gentleman. I'm sure it was also because of his wit and the twinkle in his eye.
* I remember that everyone who knew him treated him with such dignity and respect. Even though as he got older, he often demanded that respect, I knew that he was a true leader and always striving to walk boldly as a Christian.
* I remember how sad he was when Po-po died. I'm glad they're together again.
* I remember the last time I saw him. I brought Minsoo to see him and my mother introduced him as someone who was really involved in church. My gung-gung responded by saying "Wonderful, Wonderful." That was the most important thing to gung-gung.
* I remember that he loved me very much. And I loved him very much too.
7/07/2002
what goes around, comes around
My bible study class was discussing 1 Corinthians when I happened to glance out the window toward where my car was parked. It was about 2:30-ish and the sun was beating down on my passenger-side car window and reflecting a greenish-light... A greenish light?! I ran out of the room when I realized that the green light was coming from the shards of glass where my car window used to be. GRR!
Yes my car was number 3 in the string of break-ins that occured at church. This time, the thieves were bold enough to strike on sunday, during service, and hit a car parked right in front of the sanctuary. The sucka thieves took off with my lovely canvas Esprit bag which held a case of my favorite CDs (mostly Christian) and my $200+ pair of prescription glasses. They left my portable CD player (it was laying on the driver's side floor) and my portable car stereo. I know it was stupid to leave the bag sitting there (normally I hide it), but dude, I was parked in the most obvious spot in front of church, on a Sunday. Sucka thieves are getting bold. Too bad they didn't take anything really cool like a palm pilot or cell phone.
A message to thieves: We're gonna catch you thieves, watch out, we're gonna catch you.
So now I have to shell out money to get my window replaced and new prescription glasses. I know I joked about it a lot when my car was looked over by sucka thieves. Now I'm sorry I ever said anything because getting your car broken into is a big fat pain in my backside... and it makes me feel violated.
Sometimes I wish that I had nothing to write in this blog. I wish my life was more boring.
My bible study class was discussing 1 Corinthians when I happened to glance out the window toward where my car was parked. It was about 2:30-ish and the sun was beating down on my passenger-side car window and reflecting a greenish-light... A greenish light?! I ran out of the room when I realized that the green light was coming from the shards of glass where my car window used to be. GRR!
Yes my car was number 3 in the string of break-ins that occured at church. This time, the thieves were bold enough to strike on sunday, during service, and hit a car parked right in front of the sanctuary. The sucka thieves took off with my lovely canvas Esprit bag which held a case of my favorite CDs (mostly Christian) and my $200+ pair of prescription glasses. They left my portable CD player (it was laying on the driver's side floor) and my portable car stereo. I know it was stupid to leave the bag sitting there (normally I hide it), but dude, I was parked in the most obvious spot in front of church, on a Sunday. Sucka thieves are getting bold. Too bad they didn't take anything really cool like a palm pilot or cell phone.
A message to thieves: We're gonna catch you thieves, watch out, we're gonna catch you.
So now I have to shell out money to get my window replaced and new prescription glasses. I know I joked about it a lot when my car was looked over by sucka thieves. Now I'm sorry I ever said anything because getting your car broken into is a big fat pain in my backside... and it makes me feel violated.
Sometimes I wish that I had nothing to write in this blog. I wish my life was more boring.
7/04/2002
goodbye, public allies
I haven't "partied" with the allies since December, so tonight's house party was quite an experience. Since we're ending the program and my new friends are scattering for the summer, I was feeling temporarily nostalgic... So I thought I'd write this list...
What I'll miss about being in Public Allies:
- Going to parties with people of all different colors
- Seeing the world through the eyes of my one and only bisexual friend who smokes pot like a chimney
- Being with people who don't pride themselves on the good deal they got at the Gap
- People who shake their groove thang to Tiffany and Debbie Gibson as well as Digable Planets
- Being around people who always make me think about what I believe and challenge me to act on my faith, whether they know it or not
~~~ enough with the deep thoughts...the short and skinny on the party ~~~
So I'm sugar coating the whole social scene. The party tonight was half of us allies and the other half a group of frat-boy types (friends of one of the allies). It was really weird/awkward especially since I was one of the first to arrive and the ONLY female for about an hour. I drank maybe a half a beer (because I was driving and was expecting to make an exit at any moment) and did not parttake in the communal cannabis consumption (though I did learn much about the "art" of smoking out).
This was a truly interesting way to end one of the strangest years I've had thus far (knock on wood).
I haven't "partied" with the allies since December, so tonight's house party was quite an experience. Since we're ending the program and my new friends are scattering for the summer, I was feeling temporarily nostalgic... So I thought I'd write this list...
What I'll miss about being in Public Allies:
- Going to parties with people of all different colors
- Seeing the world through the eyes of my one and only bisexual friend who smokes pot like a chimney
- Being with people who don't pride themselves on the good deal they got at the Gap
- People who shake their groove thang to Tiffany and Debbie Gibson as well as Digable Planets
- Being around people who always make me think about what I believe and challenge me to act on my faith, whether they know it or not
~~~ enough with the deep thoughts...the short and skinny on the party ~~~
So I'm sugar coating the whole social scene. The party tonight was half of us allies and the other half a group of frat-boy types (friends of one of the allies). It was really weird/awkward especially since I was one of the first to arrive and the ONLY female for about an hour. I drank maybe a half a beer (because I was driving and was expecting to make an exit at any moment) and did not parttake in the communal cannabis consumption (though I did learn much about the "art" of smoking out).
This was a truly interesting way to end one of the strangest years I've had thus far (knock on wood).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
